Advice on best time to have a baby (please!)

Nursing Students General Students

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I'm a pre-nursing student/career changer. I'm hoping to get into an ABSN program, with the goal of working a few years as a hospital nurse (hopefully L&D), and eventually going into midwifery. We're also hoping to have one last baby (we have two kids already). Currently tying decide if I we should try to have a baby now (baby would be 1 year old when I start an ABSN program), or shortly after I start work as a RN.

My questions are - which is more intense/time-consuming: nursing school or working full-time? I assume the hospital shifts are very intense and exhausting, but for those who work three 12s, do you "take work home with you"/work beyond the 36 hours, or is the rest of your week actually free? And if school is more intense than work, is it still doable with young kids?

FWIW, all else being equal, we'd rather have the last baby now for a host of personal/financial/health reasons. Nursing is my dream career, and I hate the idea of being distracted by pregnancy/taking a maternity leave soon after finally landing a RN job. Plus I have two kids already, so I'll being juggling school and motherhood regardless (what's one more to add to the chaos ;) BUT I could much use the perspective of people who have actually been to nursing school and worked hospital shifts (read: I don't know what I'm talking about!)

I know this is a highly personal decision; I just really need opinions from people who have been there. Thank you!

My best friend had her baby 2 months after nursing school graduation, and thankfully she had a easy pregnancy which allowed her to continue school full-time without any distractions or problems. I know of someone who had baby in the middle of a semester and had to drop out for the rest of that semester and start-up again the next semester. Good luck!

Neither one will be easy. I did an accelerated LPN to RN program when my daughter started preschool. I worked two twelves on the weekend in homecare. Then I work FT three twelves dayshift whenever the hospital felt like scheduling me-because I was new and FT. I was super exhausted but honestly spent more time away from my child while working than in school. While working was less stressful for me than school, it was more stressful for my child, especially since she was used to having me when daddy was gone at work.

If you do decide to try to have the baby sooner rather than later (since babies don't always come as soon or as late as we would like) I would recommend a program that is not accelerated. Trying to work, go to school, raise a family AND a little one who cannot do anything for their self is extremely hard. A super demanding course load will only add to the stress. Plus, hubby may be supporting of the idea now, but when reality sets in, he may be realizing just how much you really do for him and the children (mine sure did, and made sure I knew it every time I had to leave late at night for lab/tests or in the early morning for clinicals. It was a crazy year).

I would finish school first before having another. Nursing school is hard and you need every spare minute to devote to it until you complete the program. I personally believe a husband, 2 kids, a newborn and nursing school is a near recipe for failure. If you wait until you're through school and working you will have that sweet hospital insurance plan to use.

Specializes in Med/Surg.
Don't have a baby. Get a cat. Cats are awesome.

Very accurate. And they poop in a box. It doesn't get better than that.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Very accurate. And they poop in a box. It doesn't get better than that.

My cat peed on me the other day while I was in bed. The next day she peed in my tub.

My cat peed on me the other day while I was in bed. The next day she peed in my tub.

Please get her checked out by a veterinarian. Urinating in odd places is frequently a sign of illness or disease for cats.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I made a decision to never sire a child and had a vasectomy at the age of 29 before I got married the first time.

I didn't want anything to complicate my life any more than it had to be and not having children came in handy when I was working on my RN.

Not having children also came in handy when my first wife and I divorced while I was in my third semester of the Nursing program.

Nursing school and children isn't easy but if you have a lot of support it can be done. I'm single so it made it VERY hard, but I did it. It just meant a lot of late nights studying! I knew a girl in my class that got pregnant our first year, had the baby the day before our spring break, and was back when we started classes again. Then, she planned for another child and got pregnant with that one the next year. She planned it around breaks, and got lucky with that!! Another girl got pregnant in my class, but her's wasn't going to be born around the time of a break. We had 12 hr clinicals once a week. To make up for the one's she would miss while she was out, she did an extra clinical each week. I'm sure that wasn't easy but she sure made it look easy!!

Like other posters said...you don't always get to choose when you want to have your children. Depending on your age, waiting might make it a lot harder to have a child. You also said for personal/financial/etc. now would be the best time. So, I say do it now. You have support with your husband. Hopefully, you have family around as well. Your child would be a year old if you have it now, you already have other children you will have to find care for and handle while in nursing school. So I think now would be a better idea than waiting til you start a job and having to take maternity leave!

I must say I have a 5 month old and 2 young kids and even focusing on one online course has been next to impossible!!

Thanks for all the feedback.

A lot of it was a little more pessimistic than I was expecting, but I need the real talk.

I know this won't be easy, but I refuse to choose one or the other. I made some choices in my life that lead me down a different first career path (long story), but women's health has always been my passion and this is truly my dream career. Yes, I know it's not rainbows and cuddly babies all day; that rather it's one of the highest stress fields I could choose. Two lives are on the line per every patient, and things can go from fine to life-threatening in an instant. Sorry to be corny, but being there for women in not just the happiest moment of their lives, but also the worst, and providing what small feelings of comfort and safety I can for that family, is part of what I look forward to.

In a perfect world, I would finish all schooling (through the MSN in midwifery), work a few years to establish myself, then have a baby. But biology won't let me do that! (Too damn old).

In my first career, I was a lawyer, and I had my first baby during law school, so I know all about juggling. I worked a few years, had my second, and quit about a year ago. I'm staying home now, and working on my prereqs. Having all this time with the kids is amazing, but DH's income alone can't support us long term (we're already burning through savings). I also know once the kids are in school full time I'll really be wanting to work again. I guess the second most ideal scenario is start nursing school when my youngest starts school, but we can't afford to be on one income for that long, and I can't picture being all ready to go back to work and then still having 4-5 years of prereqs, applying, and school just to get to the RN level (and then the midwifery masters...)

I've been approaching this from my prior experience where yes, law school is hard, but being a young attorney was much harder (far longer hours, less flexibility, etc). Having a kid during grad school was kind of ideal. I graduated on time and did well. I didn't do any extracurriculars so that was the sacrifice. That said, I have no intention of having the baby during nursing school. It's as soon as possible before (so that baby is at least 1 y/o when I start), or after. The prereqs haven't been stressful so far (I'm only taking two lab classes per semester).

I do have a feeling nursing school will take up more time per week than work. Even if I spend 16 hours working for every 12 hour shift, that's still 48 hours per week (ie, not too much longer than a 9-5 job). Not minimizing the stress of it! Like some pointed out, lives are on the line, the worst case scenarios do happen sometimes, you're constantly on your feet, lifting patients, etc. I expect it to be very stressful and exhausting. But it will be a big change if I'm truly off on the days I'm off - no late night work emails, unexpected fires to put out, etc.

I've been assuming new nurses get stuck with night shifts, but I hadn't thought about holidays, so thanks for pointing that out!

And I don't mean to be cocky by assuming I'll get into nursing school. I'm assuming it for the purpose of this hypothetical question. By the time I find out if I got accepted, I'll either have had the baby, or I'll have decided to wait, so no point asking the question then!

Also sorry for the long-windedness; hazards of replying to 20 comments at once! :)

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Please get her checked out by a veterinarian. Urinating in odd places is frequently a sign of illness or disease for cats.

I think she was pissed (harhar) because my mother brought another cat in the house. It's been a couple days & all the weird place peeing has stopped. She is quite possessive of me.

The only other times she has peed out of the box (lol!) is when we bring other cats home. I think it's more of a behavioral thing. She can be a real witch.

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