Yikes! =O

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Jul 27, 2002

His parents certainly have their work cut out for them. Twelve year olds can be so stupid (even the smart ones)

Rustyhammer · Jul 27, 2002

I do believe the parents should be KNOWING where a 12 year old is. Children NEED parental involvement. I agree that 12 year olds can be quite stupid and thats why they shouldn't be allowed to think too much on their own.

This is the parents fault and it's been a long time coming too.

-Russell

l.rae · Jul 27, 2002

it is sad that children have such opperunities to make decisions that will totally @%*! up the rest of their lives...you can't convince them though.......sad!.....LR

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 27, 2002

That goes along w/the 12 and 13 year olds we see having babies in our OB units. SICKENINGLY UNREAL but sad. My son is 10...I cannot fathom his tripping on acid or becoming a father in 2 or 3 years. Which is why dialogue that is VERY honest and open has been going on w/us since he was a leeeetle boy.... NO question is taboo and we have covered a LOT things I did not know about or hear about til I was 17.

Times have certainly changed....And this is why he goes NO WHERE and hangs with NO ONE I DO NOT KNOW! He hates this. but I am not his friend, just his mom and I will continue to do my damndest to save him from himself, if need be. How sad when kids get into such trouble!

night owl · Jul 27, 2002

This is sad indeed. It angers me when parents haven't a clue what their children are doing and what kind of peers they hang out with. It also angers me when the parents know what kind of peers they have, but continue to allow their child/ren to hang out with them anyway...I see it everyday with people I know. I see their 13 y/o child falling through the cracks and turning out to be like the people they hang out with...drinking, smoking, sex & drugs, and they let it happen. It's sad. The child's parents are uneducated, party animals who actually don't give a d@mn about this kid and her seven siblings! They work all of the time and no one is home to oversee them. No guidance, no love, no attention and sadly, this is what happens.

Rustyhammer · Jul 27, 2002

By the time a kid reaches the age of 13-14 you are basically done with the raising part. Now you need only provide guidance. What I mean is they should by this age know right from wrong, how to treat others (even themselves) with respect, how and when to have their responsibilities taken care of.

All through their developmental stages the parent needs to be consistant, loving, disciplined and above all they need to be THERE!

Off the soapbox,

-Russell

night owl · Jul 27, 2002

You're right Russ, but I don't think they were ever there to give the hugs, the love, the discipline... the whole nine yards (too many kids, so little time for them) all they worried about was feeding them and paying the bills! Makes me want to cry for those poor kids!

Robin61970 · Jul 27, 2002

We plan on buying or building a house in a couple of years....I have told my hubby repeatedly that we need a gameroom....basketball court....pool.......He's always asking why.. I have 4 kids.....10,8,7,4........I want them at home.....their friends can come over and hang out at my house and that is why I want lots for them to do. If they are at my house I can keep a better eye on them and maybe be more involved in their lives.......thats my thinking anyway.....I hope it works out.......

Rustyhammer · Jul 27, 2002

Robin you are so right right right on!

We have all the kids right here at the house. The neighbor kids come here to play and I treat them like my own. When they are doing something well I let them know and when they are messing up I give them a (figurative) kick in the butt. When they get in trouble with me they apologize and I forgive.

Sometimes I have heard from parents "I don't know why my kid will do chores at your house but I can't get them to do anything here at home" Well DUH! Stay at home and DO things with your kids! Help them with their homework. LISTEN TO THEM!!

Sorry but I am very passionate about this subject and it hurts me to see kids looking for love and approval in places where they shouldn't (drugs, sex, etc..) when they should be getting it at home.

Tell your kids how great you think they are and they will strive to do great things.

-Russell

OBNURSEHEATHER · Jul 27, 2002

Rusty and Robin - you sound like awesome parents! Like the one I had, and like the one I hope I am! I love having kids in my house - the more the better. Then I know where mine is and what his friends are like! He's only 7, but I think it's important to start early. My house may always look like a zoo, but I don't really care. You have to know these things!

Heather

andrewsgranny, ASN, RN · Jul 27, 2002

I think its a sad day when our 12 year olds are in to drugs.

I have a 13 yr. old who is in to fishing. I'm so proud of that. He is an honor roll student and has been since first grade. My sister has a son in law who is 21 and I believe he is on crack or crank or whatever. My son went over there the other day to try to get him to go fishing and my son said "momma there is something wrong with ----" I said why? He said cause he is seeing people in the trees. Now I dont know what kind of drugs makes you see tree people. But I can guarentee my son wont be back over there. :mad: We have to protect our baby's. I promise you I could really do something bad if I even thought he was doing something around my baby!