Why apologize to doctor when calling?

harleypinkno15 · Mar 19, 2011

Someone mentioned PCTs in this discussion. I have been in the middle of something, the PCT comes up to and says "Sorry to bother you, but Mr. So-and-so would like...." Are they truly sorry? Probably not, but they are just trying to show some courtesy.
I've even had doctors pull me away from something (for instance, to help them find a chart) and they start out by saying sorry. Again, probably not sorry, but defnitely not showing that they feel subserviant to me...

I think the issue here is being missed I don't think anyone's intention is to be rude. I think where the problem is coming in is when a Doctor is rude when being awakened. Nobody wants awakened at night but somehow if I was on call I might not favor being on call that week but you know your on call and that is what you have to do. It is not anyone's fault the Doctor is being called but unfortunately where this comes from is nurses sitting around being afraid to call a Doctor at night for fear they are going to be yelled at. It completely ridiculous! Don't be afraid to make that call. You make that call with confidence and know what you need, have your facts and if the Doctor is rude even if your not you don't have to take it I think that's what this is all about.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Mar 19, 2011

If you are a new grad and are already getting "annoyed" at something so trivial as how another nurse chooses to handle doctor calls, you're going to spend a lot of time being unhappy.

Handle doctors the way you see fit and let others do it their way. Yours isn't the "only" way, and it really doesn't affect you, so why you would spend even one minute concerning yourself with someone else's phone conversations? Perhaps their way works just fine for them-has always worked fine for them. Maybe they are expressing compassion or courtesy, maybe they really are timid, but that could just be the dynamic which works for that relationship.

I don't tolerate disrespect from any doctor, but when I was working nights, there were a few times I would preface a call with "sorry to call you again so late," especially if I knew he or she had been called numerous times that night. We truly have a collegial relationship with our doctors, so we always had compassion for the docs when they took call; and they always expressed the same when they had to call in their night teams for emergency interventions. If a new grad (or any other nurse) told me that the way I address doctors "annoyed" her, I'd say "tough."

harleypinkno15 · Mar 19, 2011

This is kind of random, but this is the reason *I* do it. When I talk on the phone, I talk fast. I don't call to bullsh*t with anybody (unless they're already up). This is for multiple reasons, but one of many is a lot of docs don't WANT to listen to you ramble / talk slowly, but another is that I've had a few docs fall asleep, so by talking quicker gets your point across when they're still "with it".
Since I talk quickly, I give them that "sorry" because it orients them to MY voice and MY way of speaking. Every person is different, but those few extra words will get them into the 'know' of how you speak (accent/no accent/pronunciations of certain things, etc.)
Finally, if you were to wake ME up at 2am because your patient hasn't moved his bowels, I'd be FURIOUS, but perhaps a little less than that if you said, "I know, I'm sorry, they insisted".

I know you probably don't mean that literally, but if any nurse calls any Doctor or anyone with such a ridiculous statement. I wouldn't know how they got through nursing school and passed the boards.

harleypinkno15 · Mar 19, 2011

If you are a new grad and are already getting "annoyed" at something so trivial as how another nurse chooses to handle doctor calls, you're going to spend a lot of time being unhappy.
Handle doctors the way you see fit and let others do it their way. Yours isn't the "only" way, and it really doesn't affect you, so why you would spend even one minute concerning yourself with someone else's phone conversations? Perhaps their way works just fine for them-has always worked fine for them. Maybe they are expressing compassion or courtesy, maybe they really are timid, but that could just be the dynamic which works for that relationship.
I don't tolerate disrespect from any doctor, but when I was working nights, there were a few times I would preface a call with "sorry to call you again so late," especially if I knew he or she had been called numerous times that night. We truly have a collegial relationship with our doctors, so we always had compassion for the docs when they took call; and they always expressed the same when they had to call in their night teams for emergency interventions. If a new grad (or any other nurse) told me that the way I address doctors "annoyed" her, I'd say "tough."

She didn't tell the nurse she annoyed her. She was making a statement and as such is entitled to her own feelings it's a shame you don't remember when you where a new nurse. Alot of things you see are intimidating and you look to your more experienced nurses for guidance, unfortunately for some strange reason alot of people don't want to help the new nurses I choose to be supportive and stand up for them and help them and be a mentor not discourage. I think her complaint is valid and it seems that alot of other people do as well.

harleypinkno15 · Mar 19, 2011

Just because it is someone's job doesn't mean you don't exchange pleasantries. What if patients felt the same way about us? What if they acted like there was no need to be pleasant or considerate towards us since we too, are being paid to do our jobs and aren't just working out of the goodness of our hearts. Wait.....they do sometimes act that way and we don't like it one bit, understandably so.

I cannot tell you how many times a maybe disoriented patient was out right rude to me or the other nurses but yes we are there to serve the patient. I have many times overlooked the rudeness and tried to be patient. However we are supposed to be part of a team working toward one goal. Caring for that person. I have also had to tell a patient firmly it is not exceptable with as kind as I am treating them to be treated rudely. Again I say it doesn't matter who you are everyone deserves respect.

rnmi2004 · Mar 20, 2011

Some of you guys can quit being passive-aggressive. I think as adults and professionals, most of us know about being courteous in our dealings.
If you have read my post properly, I said that I understood that it is not nice being woken up that late and my issue is not saying 'I'm sorry to wake you up at this hour" but...."I'm sorry to bother you..." and several nurses being 'scared' to call certain doctors and mostly prefacing those calls with apologies.
I often start with "Hi doctor XYZ, this is Indigo Summer, thanks for returning my call etc. etc. etc.". It works for me.

Hmmm...you have a problem with nurses saying "Sorry" but it's okay to thank the on-call MD for calling back. Interesting.

harleypinkno15 · Mar 20, 2011

Hmmm...you have a problem with nurses saying "Sorry" but it's okay to thank the on-call MD for calling back. Interesting.

Come on guys this girl was simply trying to make a point this is like when you are in grade school and your teacher tells u to tell a secret and before it gets to the last person it is totally different. Lets end this by saying she simply didn't like the fact that people treated Doctors like they where these exceptional creatures who deserve this undeniable respect in spite of the fact that they can sometimes be disrespectful. This is plain and simple treat people like you want to be treated. I simply do not care what your position is. Treat people with respect and you will get respect.

sevensonnets · Mar 20, 2011

Wow, I had to go all the way back to see who the original poster actually was. It isn't about giving back an "attitude" or who feels entitled. It's about using good manners and common courtesy in professional relationships with physicians. It does not matter what words the individual nurse uses to open a phone conversation with the MD as long as the nurse is polite and professional. "Sorry to bother you" is no big deal. I've known the MDs at my hospital for years. Heck, I might ask them if they're having a rough day or how are the wife and kids. Great insurance against "attitude," believe me. Doesn't make me feel one bit subservient!

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Mar 20, 2011

I have to agree with most everyone else, it's common courtesy, it's been my observation though that it seems like this simple thing of common courtesy is going out the door. Holding the door open for the person behind you, apologizing when you interrupt someone and apologizing for waking the doctor.

Last night I was at the movies with my husband. Their was a open seat on each side of us. Just one. A gentleman probably in his 60's with his wife walked up and asked me if the seat next to me was open, I said yes. He asked if we would scoot over one so their would be 2 open seats on the end for him and his wife. We sit in a row that has bars in front of it you can put your legs up on. It's the only row like that. I said sure and scooted over, my husband looked at the man, cocked an eyebrow and said NO he would not move. Seriously I was so embarrassed. It was no big deal to scoot over, sure their wouldn't have been a seat between us and the people next to us, but really, was the man asking to much? It was like a 2 minute argument before my husband scooted over. I had never seen him be so outright rude to someone like that. After the movie in the car though my husband insists I was in the wrong and it was rude of the man to ask us to scoot over, he could have sat in another row with his wife. This is true, maybe he needed to put his feet up though. Some of my husbands friends don't feel he was rude at all. I am just not that way.

Sorry to go a little off topic, this subject though just reminded me of last night.

I will hold a door open, I will apologize for interrupting someone, I will apologize if I have to call someone even if they are on call, if someone asks me something politely and it's no trouble to do it, I will do it, I will say please and thank you even if it's the persons job, and if you are rude to me and disrespectful, I won't hesitate to put you in your place.

rngolfer53 · Mar 20, 2011

Hi,
I'm a new graduate. I just wanted your thoughts/opinions on this. When calling doctors at night, I noticed that a lot of the nurses start the call with 'I'm sorry to bother you doctor, but....."
Don't they realize that the doctor is not on call out of the goodness of his heart? He/she is getting paid. That's his/her JOB.
I'm not heartless and can sympathesize with someone being woken up/sleep deprived/etc. but I'm not calling to talk about the weather or chit-chat about a game - so it's definitely not a BOTHER.
I feel like everytime a nurse apologizes for calling the doctor to do his job - they get this entitled feeling and that's why most act so nasty and bothered and start yelling at nurses for calling them. Some nurses just dread calling certain doctors and always make apologizes and it just annoys me.
Why do you think they do that?
And do you do it?

Politeness is the grease that keeps gears from grinding quite so badly.

BTW, some doctors, like some people in every walk of life, got the "entitled feeling" long before med school

Florence NightinFAIL, BSN, RN · Mar 20, 2011

Come on guys this girl was simply trying to make a point this is like when you are in grade school and your teacher tells u to tell a secret and before it gets to the last person it is totally different. Lets end this by saying she simply didn't like the fact that people treated Doctors like they where these exceptional creatures who deserve this undeniable respect in spite of the fact that they can sometimes be disrespectful. This is plain and simple treat people like you want to be treated. I simply do not care what your position is. Treat people with respect and you will get respect.

Thank you. I think you're the only one who has really understood my post.

There is really no point in clarifying or repeating myself.

Thanks for all the replies though.

MunoRN, RN · Mar 20, 2011

I usually start of with "sorry to be waking you" or something along those lines because I do feel I owe them a little courtesy given the situation even though it is their job to take the call. Plus, it buys a little time to allow them to come to their senses a little more before making a potentially life or death decision.

If after saying "sorry to be waking you" they responded "you better be sorry", then I'd probably clarify that I'm not really sorry, but otherwise it's just polite.