when to remove the tube feed /or not

  1. 0
    my grandmother was diagnosed with [color=#0000cc]amyloidosis
    of her spine in 2007
    in 2008 the pea sized tumor grew to the size of a
    grapefruit then a foot ball

    they operated on her prone side (face down )
    the doctor found the mass spread to her breast and was traveling up her brain

    she survived the surgery
    but was paralyzed from the hips down
    and has deteratied since feb 2008

    she is now on tube feed
    she cant take in food or water she gets nauseated
    they have her on 4 of dilladid every 4 hours
    as needed due to her screaming in intense pain

    my question is we realize now that she no longer has control of bowl, urine and other functions
    and cant eat , and now the tube feed is making her sick and residual of 200 cc is coming out of the tube

    we are preparing her for hospice
    and my dad refuses to reduce her tube feed
    thinking it will kill her

    is this correct
    or i figured since the body is shutting down
    and the brain is in confusion and her output is very little it would be less pain and suffering on her

    she gets bloated and gassy and cries out in pain
    from it
    her body wont absorb it anymore
    but we dont know how to let her go
    peacfully and humanly

    she sleeps 21 hours of the day
    and her dementia and pain is intesnse
    please can you offer advice
    for us
    shes 90 years old
    i dont want to see her suffer anymore


    leah
    her granddaughter

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  4. 17 Comments so far...

  5. 2
    She is in the process of dying. Removing the tube feeding will, if she is still digesting any of it, speed the process.

    I believe that letting her go is the moral and kind thing to do. But your dad feels, for obvious reasons, guilt about doing that.

    Have you contacted anyone from hospice to come and talk with him and the rest of the family?

    I hope earle checks into this thread.
    Jules A and MAISY, RN-ER like this.
  6. 0
    That's an extremely difficult situation. Is your Grandmother able to communicate in any way? Can her doctor intervene in her behalf?

    I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I believe your father is thinking more of himself, losing her, rather than what may be best for her. If I were she and I knew I was dying and I was suffering I would ask to be let to die. Hopefully the doctor will be able to intervene.

    God Bless you, your father and your dear Grandmother
  7. 0
    (((Leah))),

    I am sorry that you and your family are going through this. Sounds like the thing to do now is to stop the feed because she isn't absrobing it anyway. This is a hard decision to make. However removing the tube feed will speed the process, but will ease some of her pain and discomfort as well that you have described. Have you contacted hospice? Maybe a meeting can be arranged with you and the rest of the family?

    Prayers and blessings to you and your family Leah at this time.
    Last edit by nrsang97 on Sep 2, '08
  8. 0
    Quote from Suesquatch
    She is in the process of dying. Removing the tube feeding will, if she is still digesting any of it, speed the process.

    I believe that letting her go is the moral and kind thing to do. But your dad feels, for obvious reasons, guilt about doing that.

    Have you contacted anyone from hospice to come and talk with him and the rest of the family?

    I hope earle checks into this thread.

    dad is drving me and mom nuts
    he finally decided to move her to hospice
    and near our house
    but he is the one that wont let go
    and Gram cires out "i want to be with Jesus " why am i here "
    it has been so stressfull for us

    to make a long story short my dad doesnt have any of his famlies support
    and they are lingering like vultures waiting for her to die
    and dad hopes she will use up her moneys by keeping her alive long enogh
    so he dont have to give a dime to the freeloaders

    money is not everything
    i think this woman that is 90 deserves to die with dignity

    the whole frekking house has grams stuff here its a viritual shrine
    and im going nuts from it
    trying to grt through lpn school and deal with all this
    and living with parents which i had to do in order to afford my schooling


    just say a prayer for me
    its gonna be a long haul :/
    and the min i get that lpn degree
    im off to Las vegas !

    leah
  9. 0
    Well, I feel that when treatment is causing more pain than good, its time to stop. If the tube feeding is causing her to cry in pain and making her bloat, and you say she isnt absorbing it, it sounds like it isnt doing any good anymore anyway. Large residual can actually cause her to aspirate. I know this is very hard on you and your family. Ive been with many families when they had to make such a hard choice. But the family has to make the decision that they can live with. People can live for a long time without food. The main thing is to make her as comfortable as possible...meds to ease pain, turning her every 2 hours, fluffing pillows, and definitely providing her with GREAT oral care. I think the family needs to sit down with the doctor and have a long heart to heart talk about the pros and cons of all treatments involved. Then together the family should sit and discuss the options and decide together. God bless you, your family, and your grandmother.
  10. 1
    Quote from angelwings777
    to make a long story short my dad doesnt have any of his famlies support
    and they are lingering like vultures waiting for her to die
    and dad hopes she will use up her moneys by keeping her alive long enogh
    so he dont have to give a dime to the freeloaders

    Can you gently point out that by wanting to punish the vultures he is punishing his mother?

    BinkieRN likes this.
  11. 0
    Quote from chenoaspirit
    Well, I feel that when treatment is causing more pain than good, its time to stop. If the tube feeding is causing her to cry in pain and making her bloat, and you say she isnt absorbing it, it sounds like it isnt doing any good anymore anyway. Large residual can actually cause her to aspirate. I know this is very hard on you and your family. Ive been with many families when they had to make such a hard choice. But the family has to make the decision that they can live with. People can live for a long time without food. The main thing is to make her as comfortable as possible...meds to ease pain, turning her every 2 hours, fluffing pillows, and definitely providing her with GREAT oral care. I think the family needs to sit down with the doctor and have a long heart to heart talk about the pros and cons of all treatments involved. Then together the family should sit and discuss the options and decide together. God bless you, your family, and your grandmother.




    thanks
    she can verbalize that she wants to go home (heaven )
    but she is now suffering from dementia
    and the mass is goign to the brain now
    and she forgets things


    also why do dying people have nightmares ?
    or is it due to the lack of oxygen in the brain ?
    she tells me all these bad dreams
    i was wondering if the atavan was doing that ?
    or is it the pain meds

    i want to tell the doc that she shoudl prolly be on a
    med for her confusion
    maybe haldol ?

    thanks
    leah
  12. 0
    Leah, when did she get to hospice? The hospice peeps will figure this out.
  13. 2
    Quote from Suesquatch
    Can you gently point out that by wanting to punish the vultures he is punishing his mother?

    in my opinion hes hurting her more than they are
    the hard part for me is Grandmother is a good christian
    loving and kind
    giving and dad is bitter and unforgiving

    belive you me i have talked till im blue in the face
    to him about it
    its just so sad
    i wanted her to be like the ones that just fall asleep and pass on peacfully
    on a couch or somthing and it aint gonna happen that way
    so i figure better have her sedated and no pain than comimg in and out
    of pain and confusion

    thanks
    God bless you
    leah :redpinkhe
    MAISY, RN-ER and SuesquatchRN like this.


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