What is the dumbest order you ever read? - page 3

I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold ... Read More

  1. by   Furball
    Originally posted by canoehead
    Banana STAT for hypokalemia. (K of 3.3)

    priceless......
  2. by   nursedawn67
    This one isn't funny but shows the importance of rereading your order....

    Lantus Insulin 12 units am & hs

    this was discovered when Pharmacy called and inquired about the order, the RN that took the call said, "I think doc is trying something new"

    I wasn't happy with this and called doc myself, doc said "no I want it given at night only!"

    I don't know what happened, but be sure of funny looking and sounding orders...clarify with the doc...repeat it to him.
  3. by   deespoohbear
    Originally posted by NICUNURSE
    I want to play... I work in an NICU and we get new residents all the time. So one of our newbies (consequently the one with the biggest chip on her shoulder...) orders:

    1 unit PRBC's AFAP

    Okay, first of all, we don't give neonates 1 unit of ANYTHING. Second, what the heck is AFAP? Did I miss the day that we learned that abreviation in nursing school? So when I questioned her, she tell's me it means, "As fast as possible." Scary...

    OMG!! I don't even work with NICU babies (med-surg lifer here) and I know NOT to give a neonate an unit of blood!!
  4. by   Genista
    Surgeon wrote, "Ambulate patient."
    (Pt paraplegic/wheelchair bound).

    Another doc once wrote, "Get patient Cornflakes cereal with breakfast."
    (Did he really have to write that as an order?! I'm glad my years in college aren't going to waste! LOL!).



    And the classics, which you've seen before & continue to haunt the charts:

    ~ accurate I &O (uh, ya mean I can't make it up?)

    ~Call MD for significant change in status (doh!)

  5. by   Stargazer
    The provolone cheese and banana ones are hilarious.

    On a post-op pt:

    "NPO until awake." (Ya think? But I usually like to check unconscious pt's gag reflexes by stuffing jello down their throats!)


    Our RT dept used to keep a book of the better ones--that was some fun reading. One of my faves:

    "15% O2 by face mask." (Maybe if we attached it to suction or bleed in a little nitrous or helium?)
  6. by   deespoohbear
    Originally posted by kona2

    And the classics, which you've seen before & continue to haunt the charts:

    ~ accurate I &O (uh, ya mean I can't make it up?)

    ~Call MD for significant change in status (doh!)

    Oh, I just love those orders, especially the call MD with any significant change in status. Just bugs the daylights out of me.

    I love it too when they give us parameters of when to call. I have had orders that say to call for SBP less than 80 (ya, think?), HR greater than 120, resp greater than 28, etc. Give me some credit, for pete's sake.

    My other favorite order that goes with the same thing is call abnormal labs (you mean like the K+ of 2.1, or the Na of 115?) :stone
  7. by   gpip
    move patient now.
  8. by   AHRN
    Another classic from NICU.
    Post-op order:
    Dangle BID.
    We are still trying to figure out if we let the feet out the isolette port holes or drop the door and sit the baby on the edge!
  9. by   AIS52
    A few I've collected;

    -Metoprolol 1000 mg PO BID
    So we call the doc and ask what he meant. He says "I didn't write that order. Call the House Staff." We remind him that HE put this patient is on private service so no residents covering. He says "well what does my H&P say?" It says "Full H&P dictated." You see where this is going.

    -"Call House Officer for VT"
    Need I say more?

    -"Hold Lopressor for pauses"
    Ya think?
  10. by   SheilaK
    Had a intern complaining about "other docs" who don't assess pt's before writing orders. 1 hour later a new admit came in, his admission.

    Order read for bilat SCD's.

    I called the doc and said do you want me to try to modify the SCD's he asked why. I asked him if he had seen this pt as the pt has bilat AKA with 6 inch stumps. He said opps and that he guesses he was as bad as the others. Got to razz him about that for the next few weeks.
  11. by   rebelwaclause
    This was the dumbest MD order I'd ever seen:

    `'|/ '`h. Then `|/-\ fo`/x~`.

    (Doctor's handwritting...Its all dumb to me...!)
  12. by   Agnus
    Originally posted by Sleepyeyes
    My all-time favorite was printed on the MAR at an LTC, for a 97-yo woman:

    "Mammogram q month"

    of course, that was supposed to read "HEMOgram q month"--Dr. corrected it when we asked him if that is what he really ordered :chuckle
    :chuckle This sounds like one I caught. "Pap smear normal, repeat in 2 wk."

    Poor doc was very :imbar when I drew this to his attention.
  13. by   Agnus
    Originally posted by swiftflyer
    for pt rash - provalone cheese bid
    what the heck?
    turned out to be provon cream bid
    Doc musta been hungry.....
    :roll :roll :roll :roll

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