What do you think about people calling you "honey"?

[Hellllllo Nurse]

I am in my forties, but a lot of people (such as waitresses, sales clerks, cashiers) call me "honey" and "sweetheart" all the time. I think this is fine, when the person is older than me, but I get annoyed when someone who is young enough to be my daughter calls me "honey." Males never call me by these names (with the exception of my husband!)

Occasionally, a subordinate at work will call me "honey. " I tell them immediately not to refer to me that way. But when a waitress does it, I let it go. I'd like to ask them not to, however.

I have only rarely referred to anyone as "sweetheart," and when I have, it's been a child, or a pt in a very vulnerable, hurt state, who is seeking reassurance and protection.

What's your opinion on this?

[luquacious]

Forget the Ma'am or honey debate, as far as I'm concerned. I just really don't get what is so doggoned offensive about it.

What grates on me is when my husband and I are greeted in restaurants by people of any age as "you guys." That immediately makes me wwant to start fussing, and generally means less of a tip. If I was up North where I understand that is as common as "you all" here in the South, that would be one thing. But to be greeted as though we are two men out together really grinds my grits!

You are absolutely right! In every area there is something, and as "Yankee" as I am "you guys" is a very disrespectful way to address someone. Unfortunately, as I have had to do with "honey" you just have to get over it! I will always have a hard time for the lack of respect it shows when someone younger than me calls me honey, but that lack of respect is a cancer on society that has grown too big to treat and I am not sure that we will ever get this ground back. But as long as at the end of the day, I can say that I taught my children how to be respectful and that I have been respectful, than I can say I've done my best.

[Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN]

This is so ironic- in Az where I'm from, everyone says "You guys" - doesn't matter if it's a group of females. This is just what everybody says.

I think "you guys" could be the western equivalent to the southern "honey."

Lol!

Hey honey, don't you guys think this is funny!

[CHATSDALE]

i think intention is the key

don't do anything that would make the othe person uncomfortable

if a person is friendly telling them in a brusk tone that you don't like the way that spoke to you there is going to be an undercurent of resentment, lighten

favorite bumper sticker

AMERICAN BY BIRTH, SOUTHERN BY THE GRACE OF GOD

[TwinStars]

I think it's annoying. My name is Erica, not honey, or sweetie, or whatever. And I find it demeaning when I hear other nurses calling patients honey, or sweetie. They also have names, use them, it shows respect.

I find it annoying too... especially when someone younger than me calls me that. The only time I use "honey" or "sweetie" is when I talk to my kids.

[banditrn]

I personally would prefer to be addressed by my name or ma'am, but I generally don't make a big deal of it. I'm too old to be some 20 yo's 'honey'.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

Forget the Ma'am or honey debate, as far as I'm concerned. I just really don't get what is so doggoned offensive about it.

What grates on me is when my husband and I are greeted in restaurants by people of any age as "you guys." That immediately makes me wwant to start fussing, and generally means less of a tip. If I was up North where I understand that is as common as "you all" here in the South, that would be one thing. But to be greeted as though we are two men out together really grinds my grits!

I'm so sick of 'you guys', don't get me started. Our Manager loves this phrase, every memo starts with 'you guys' or 'guys'. I agree on wait staff, they alway come over and interupt you mid sentence with "Everything okay with you guys?". Ugh, I always want to say "It was until you interupted me while I was talking to my friend!" But, I alway leave a good tip. Do waitresses have a every 10 minute rounding policy?

[bigsyis]

Hey honey, don't you guys think this is funny!

Hellllllo Nurse, you win the prize for this one!:wink2:

[NurseNancyNP]

See, the difference here is where you work. I'm a Family NP and when I am in a Peds setting and refer to a pedi patient as sweetheart, it is completely different than if I were to refer to my 65 yo patient in the CCU as sweetie. It is a lack of respect for them as adults.

[RNMom2010]

Endearments I have used: honey, sweetie, love, dear, darlin', Miz _____, precious....such as, "how's that , love?" after repositioning.

So again, it is all about intentions.

I use those endearments all the time with my Alzheimer's/Dementia residents. Especially for the residents that are quite regressed. They seem to react well to them, as well as with the quiet nice tone of voice I use to get them to complete their ADL's. For my residents that are more aware, I generally say their names or "thank ya sir/ma'am". Either way I try and keep it lighthearted and nice.

Now when I get into my nursing clinicals I am going to try and NOT talk like that to fully aware pts, unless they are small children. It just currently happens to HELP while I am working with my particular set of residents!! Personally I do not take offense to being called any of said endearments. In fact, there are very few things I take offense to being called. And it has to be BAD!!!

[NurseNancyNP]

Once again, notice to whom you are referring. It would definitely not be appropriate to speak to co-worker like that unless you two are bosom buddies. It would not be appropriate to speak to a conscious, present-minded patient that way, unless they have given permission. I trully feel that it is unprofessional to use these terms in the clinical setting unless you are talking to a peds patient or one who is mentally incapacitated. And when you use it with a peer, it is just demeaning... And like I said earlier, I'm and my family for the last 10 generations are southerners, so I don't buy the "it's a southern thing" excuse.

[MB37]

From years of waiting tables/bartending in New Orleans: NEVER refer to a table, especially one containing any women, as "you guys." "Y'all" can be appropriate, depending on how fine the establishment (diner, bar, etc. it's preferred), and when I worked for the Brennans it was allowed, but a friend who worked at Emeril's always had to say "ladies" and/or "gentlemen." I'm now a nursing student, and my patients are always, "Mr./Ms. so and so" unless they correct me. I also use "sir" and "ma'am" with pretty much any stranger (i.e. that's how I thank the bagger at the grocery) until they introduce themselves. However, I am not bothered by "honey" or "dear," especially from older folks, unless the intention is demeaning. I try to keep it professional with my patients in clinical, but I'm sure I've let a "dear" or two slip here and there once I've gotten to know them. I actually grew up in the cold North, but when you work for tips, you learn to adapt to the local culture very quickly.

[sherylchaynes]

In our culture people use these words alot, when communicating with you. I hate it!!! Honey, baby, sweetheart, love, sugar.... these I believe are terms of endearment and should only be use by your loved ones or for your loved ones. Men seem to be the ones who use these the most. To me it seems unprofessional and too personal.

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