To the Experienced Nurse

pennyaline · Mar 1, 2010

...the difference between us? i will remember how it was being a novice.
signed,
kt5
([color=lemonchiffon]could not sleep...trying out my poetry).

lighten up, honey. what makes you think we don't remember? this too shall pass.

Katie5 · Mar 1, 2010

Lighten up, honey. What makes you think we don't remember? This too shall pass.

LOL dearie, you lighten up. Highlight the stuff in parenthesis:lol2:

scoochy · Mar 1, 2010

Hi Katie,

I have been a nurse for 30 years. Thanks for your post. It reminded me of being a new grad and having so much anxiety.

I must admit that at the age of 50+, I no longer like to precept new grads. I don't have the patience that new grads require and DESERVE, and I am the first to admit it. I loved being a preceptor when I was younger, but I am no longer good at it. I am happy to share the knowledge I have acquired throughout my career, as it benefits the new grad and ultimately, the patient.

Please don't shoot me; I have nothing against new grads. I am envious of their never ending quest for knowledge.

I just want to do the best job I can do, but I no longer have the extra energy to expend. I would be doing any new grad a disservice.

Honesty is the best policy!

KinshuKiba · Mar 1, 2010

Dear Nursing Student:

I am sorry that you feel that you are a novice and nothing more; I hope you develop some confidence in yourself.

I am sorry if you think you have made my day long and bleak; the truth is, sometimes my days are long and bleak, whether you are here or not.

I am sorry if you think that I'm being mean to you, because I did not intend to be; Perception, however, is not reality, merely subjective belief.

I am sorry if I become frustrated with your constant questioning; you must remember that while it is admirable to seek to understand, there is a proper time and place for questions. I am always try to answer you, but sometimes there are more pressing things.

I know you are afraid. So am I.

I am afraid everyday I come to work.

I am afraid I will be faced with something crucial that I have not yet encounted;

I am afraid I will be expected to complete a task I do not yet know how to do, and will screw up in the process;

I am afraid I will, in the process of screwing up, hurt someone I am charged with taking care of.

I am afraid I will unwittingly wound and damage those new nurses that have been entrusted to me to train, or will teach them something wrong.

I do not have the comfort of a preceptor or instructor. I work under my own hard earned license that can be taken away from me. I may not be laughed at by others (at least not where it could be heard) but I am marginalized and disregarded by docotors, management, patients and their families, and sometimes by nurising students who don't always want to listen to me.

When I tell you to connect the dots, it is my desire to help you improve your critical thinking skills. You will not be a student forever. Someday, you will be an LPN, or an RN, or a NP, or a CRNA...and whatever your chosen profession, you will be expected to think quickly and to stand on your own two feel. When I tell you to see the big picture, I want you to try to take all those little pieces you have collected and combine them so you will grasp how everything works together. Nursing, more than anything else, is the ability to care for the patient as a whole being: mind, body, and soul. Nursing is seeing the big picture.

I have been a nurse for a very long time, and yes, I am very experienced. I have seen things that would make a nursing student cringe, or cry, or run away. And yet, I have stayed at my post, like a souldier at war, healing the sick and mending the wounded. I have never forgotten where I came from, and I never forget where I'm going. And I hope you know, that despite all of this, there are day where I still feel like a green-stick novice.

Dear Nursing Student,

Someday, I hope you are like me.

Someday, I hope you have all my experience,

Someday, I hope you will find those deep wells of confidence and patience that I know are inside you, regardless of what Nursing School did or did not do,

And someday, I hope that you realize you will never be an expert, that there will always be something you can learn, from everyone you encounter, whether from an old battleax, or from a baby nurse. Because in the end, there isn't much diffence between us after all.

iluvivt, BSN, RN · Mar 1, 2010

I still remember but do what I did and still do everyday....MAKE YOURSELF VALUABLE...What you get out of your learning experience is really UP TO YOU.

snoopy29 · Mar 1, 2010

We are all nurses whether we are qualified or unqualified, first year in or a year off retirement and that means we share things.......

We want to care and make a difference. We want to look after our patients as best as we can. We want to be good nurses. All of us - however long or short we have been in, however tired and understaffed.

There are differences between the old sweats and the newbies. The old sweats have weathered the passage of time and have forgotten more than the newbies know. The newbies bring fresh academic knowledge, enthusiasm vigour and a want to learn.

I love mentoring new grads. They make me feel alive. I took my first nursing post 25 years ago but still remember the terror I felt. I love their enthusiasm and new ideas. I love the endless questions that make me think and keep my mind sharp. I also have complete respect for them.

The thing is Katie we do remember but we are also human, so you will come across experienced nurses who are tired and sometimes grumpy. They may lack your vigour and enthusiasm but on the whole they deserve respect. I have nothing but respect for Kinshukiba's eloquent post we neither forget were we came from or were we are going to.

It's not about them and us and trust me the experienced nurses still feel fear every single shift and they still learn every single shift. When you stop that's the time to get out.

I wish you the very best for your nursing journey :)

BeachyRNn08 · Mar 1, 2010

Katie5,

I loved your post, good for you. I do not think you need to "lighten up", we all have bad days. Everyone needs to vent at times to keep their sanity. I love this website because it is a great place to find people who understand what you are going through, and trust me, i do! I have only been a nurse for a couple of years and l feel like that at times. Being new to the ER, I deal with the same personalities your poem describes, day after day, after day. I think it is pathetic that some (definitely not all) senior nurses treat their less experienced nurses this way. If I ever get to that point, where I hate my job so much, or I'm so tired, or whatever the reason may be, then I know it's time for me to move on. But trust me, you will find fellow nurses that you can confide in, the ones who will answer your "constant questioning" with patience and help you out when you need it. Every nurse has been in your position at some point, and it's sad that that is forgotten. As hard as it is, do not let your co-workers bring you down. You WILL Be a great nurse, you CAN do it, and you are only human to want to vent.

:redbeatheFrom one "baby nurse" to another! :redbeathe

pennyaline · Mar 1, 2010

LOL dearie, you lighten up. Highlight the stuff in parenthesis:lol2:

I saw the stuff in parentheses. Too bad it doesn't show up well in the final rendering. Even so, though you may be trying to appear lighthearted your post still comes off as whiny and self-indulgent. Especially your final sentence (before the parenthetical stuff): "The Difference between us? I will remember how it was being a novice." Poor you.

pednursedeb · Mar 1, 2010

I think most of us remember what it's like. I don't precept anymore because I don't think I'm a good teacher. Your preceptor may be mean, and I've seen those, but I bet at the end you will have learned a lot. I'm glad to see the students and new nurses. I try to welcome them so they know that they aren't in my way or bothering me with questions. I dont' like new nurses or students who don't ask questions, it's like they think they already know everything. No one knows everything.

Good luck, hang in there. There are nurses that aren't mean. Find one and she/he will help you through the rough times.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 1, 2010

i firmly believe that "mean", like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. sometimes those "mean nurses" are honestly trying to help you but you just don't get it.

annaRNC · Mar 1, 2010

To the OP,

I've been where you are and it isn't easy. I've been a nurse for a decent amount of time now and it does get easier. There are those of us that love being a preceptor (like me) and those that don't. Even when you are on your own you aren't truly alone. Help is there if you ask for it. I can't image working in an area where I can't ask questions. The nurses that I've worked with that have been nurses for 40 years that still ask questions. To the people that replied let's give the OP a break. She's trying and deserves a chance to share her feelings without being slammed for it. If we don't help each other out than we're as responsible for things being crappy as the doctors, management, etc. is. Hang in there and PM me if you need more support.