Thoughts about childcare during procedures - page 4

I have been thinking of this for a long time now. Some of you may actually have some sort of system set up in your hospitals since you are in bigger cities, etc. What would you think of this idea... Read More

  1. by   IamRN
    Quote from caroladybelle
    And you have a dh - yes, his job is important, but so are the kids and your health. If he chose to have kids, he should expect to rearrange his schedule to accomodate them. It is more his responsibility than the hospital or a volunteer's, or a nurse's.
    This was my first thought when I read your initial post...Where is her husband? Then I thought you may be a single mom, but you have since posted about your dh. I am in total agreement w/coralladybelle in this observation.

    OTOH, it would be nice if hospitals provided this service; although I clearly see all the flaws in logistics. Your best bet is to get proactive about this and/or find a mother's day program that serves your community and schedule any/all appointments on the days they have services. I have great in-laws in town (and *many* friends and neighbors, but I don't don't feel comfortable asking then to keep my kiddos because, honestly, I could not reciprocrate) to keep the children when appointments/emergencies arise, but when they are not available (they RV for long periods of time) I trust a mother's day out program from my church.
  2. by   tnrn2be
    Quote from hogan4736
    I have 2 boys under 3...Change work schedules to accomodate the children...Health issues ALWAYS come before work...One spouse goes to his/her appointment...The other stays home w/ the kids. Work schedule be damned... Our parents managed, why can't we?

    sean

    My thoughts exactly. I am also too "paranoid" a momma to drop my kids off with someone I've never met.........I don't care where they work or how good their background check was.
  3. by   ktwlpn
    Quote from CNM2B
    I still don't understand why people seem to be getting nasty about this issue. All I am doing is asking simple, innocent questions. If you don't have children, firstly, it is hard to understand. Secondly, I have stated that I have tried to find childcare and that most of my reasoning is to make things easier on staff at the hospital. I am not saying that I am taking the kids there to play while I visit friends or while I myself am in the hospital. I asked an innocent question and if I misperceived the sarcasm, I am sorry, but why not try to have a little compassion for those of us trying to make things easier on YOU!!!

    Deb...no, no hard feelings of course.
    I really don't see any nasty replies-just opinions that differ from yours and you did requast feedback.Parents have to make sacrifices-not the rest of society....You and your husband take turns taking time off or re-arranging your schedules.You work a different shift then he does so someone is always available for the kids.You save your earned vavcation time to dole out through the year to cover your childcare schedule....You join the "y" and take advantage of their programs....There isalways a solution-it just may not be very convenient for you at the time....I don't agree with your "trying to make things easier on the hospital staff"...If the tech or nurse has to stick you multiple times because they are distracted by your kids you suffer....and if you can't buckle one or 2 in a stroller and make the other sit still for 5 mins you have a bigger problem then just finding convenient childcare."Compassion" does not enter into it-if you can not provide the care children need then don't have a bunch........ Like I said-other people's children are a bit like second hand smoke.....
    Last edit by ktwlpn on May 24, '04
  4. by   IMustBeCrazy
    How many children people have is certainly no one else's decision. That being said...

    I have seen institutional childcare provided in the following places:

    Grocery Store
    Plasma Center
    Church
    Health Club
    YMCA
    Company Christmas Parties

    to name just a few. So to say that it can't be done, well there is the non-comprehensive example list of 'can be dones'. To deny the problem is not going to make it go away. It's too bad people can't actually pull together and advocate for something worthwhile instead of constantly splitting hairs.
  5. by   Saved_by_Grace
    [font=lucida sans unicode]some very good examples! and just because the op has a dh doesn't mean all mothers do. and for the ones that said to not go to work that is easy to say if not in fear of losing your job due to call outs or losing the pay for that day. and as for the last of my .02 cents everyone kept saying there was no sarcasm but please read the post about comparing children to second handed smoke. i found that very offensive as a mother. you too were a child once. the mother's day out program was good advice as well. around here the churches alternate them so like on tuesday and thursdays from 9-2 you can leave your kids to go do errands..etc a novel idea!
  6. by   RedSox33RN
    Quote from ktwlpn
    if you can not provide the care children need then don't have a bunch........
    Now, THAT statement is rude and somewhat hostile statement. Just because she is unable to find someone to care for her children when she has a blood test, that means she should not have had them? So you are saying people are supposed to consider whether they have someone to watch a child while they have a Dr. appt before they choose to even have children?

    We are not talking about a woman having child after child while milking the welfare system for support for them.
  7. by   IamRN
    Quote from wannaBEanRN
    Now, THAT statement is rude and somewhat hostile statement.
    About the "2nd hand smoke" statement...that is hitting below the belt a bit, I suppose. But as I said before, I could not reciprocrate childcare w/another mom because I don't feel like dealing w/other's peoples children. I love children, I just know my limitations....soooo, I understand the general meaning of that comment.

    We are not talking about a woman having child after child while milking the welfare system for support for them.
    OK...let's explore that thought. Where would the money for a childcare facility come from? The hospital's funding=patient's pocket. Donations would be another option, but somehow I find those donations better spent for medical care of the needy????
  8. by   IMustBeCrazy
    OK...let's explore that thought. Where would the money for a childcare facility come from?
    How about grants? Heaven knows there is a ton of government grant money for childcare just waiting to be used for capital projects such as this. And what exactly would be wrong with soliciting donations for a room/program within an institution? Name the center after the donor or put a plaque above the door with their name, who cares?

    Nursing isn't about *just* healing the wounds, it's just as much family care. I am open to hearing about how caring for a child/children for a few minutes during an appointment or procedure does not promote a positive family outcome?
  9. by   ktwlpn
    Quote from wannaBEanRN
    Now, THAT statement is rude and somewhat hostile statement. Just because she is unable to find someone to care for her children when she has a blood test, that means she should not have had them? So you are saying people are supposed to consider whether they have someone to watch a child while they have a Dr. appt before they choose to even have children?

    We are not talking about a woman having child after child while milking the welfare system for support for them.
    That is exactly what I said-we are not stray dogs or cats doomed to have litter after litter.We have a choice-are you saying that we should NOT consider the amount of family support available to us before we decide to start a family? Should we NOT consider our lifestyle? If your husband is constantly transferred maybe it might be a good idea to adjust your family plan-wait a few yrs before starting a family,limiting the number of children you have or looking for another job...I also stand by my comment comparing other people's kids to second hand smoke-that is the attitude of a large segment of our society.There are places that young children do not belong yet some parents insist on thinking of only themselves and taking their kids into those situations....I am not being "rude" or making "below the belt" comments-I am voicing my opinions as I have a right to....And I have been there myself-we waited until we were ready to start our family-due to situations beyond our control we had to post-pone adding to it and now it's too late for us.But we made the decisions that were right for our family at the time.I felt that it would have been irresponsible to just blithly pop out babies with no thought to what was going on within my extended family at the time-thankfully that is a woman's right....and a thinking human being's responsibility
  10. by   Energizer Bunny
    you know what? none of you have any idea of what is going on in my family or has happened since I had children, so you cannot tell me that I have to think of the responsibility before I had them. I DID and I also had much more support then. I'm done with trying to explain myself, because apparently some cannot see my point of view though I have openly expressed that I can see theirs.
  11. by   IMustBeCrazy
    i will say it again since it has fallen on deaf ears...


    it's nobodys business to tell others to have or don't have children.


    now, can we please get back to the original topic of this conversation?
    Last edit by IMustBeCrazy on May 25, '04
  12. by   VaKidPN
    CNM,
    I think you are right on the money. First off, I do see nasty replies. Second, She simply asked what people thought of the idea of some sort of child care set up in the hospital. Thirdly, she went on then to ask what can someone in her situation do? Im pretty sure getting rid of her kids is not an option for her sadly to the thought of those who think her kids are like second hand smoke. Lastly, anyone who tells someone that they should not have their kids is a coldhearted human being. I do not agree with the idea of a child care set up in the hospital for various reasons, however, I cant imagine being so cold to someone who was obviously just stating an idea and asking for suggestions.
  13. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from IamRN
    But as I said before, I could not reciprocrate childcare w/another mom because I don't feel like dealing w/other's peoples children.
    My point exactly!!!!!!!

    And that is your choice. But you should expect that it will limit your options. And at such time as you need that help, you may have accept that sacrifice of dealing "w/other's peoples children to have them reciprocate. It is more fair than dumping them on a "volunteer hospital system".

    But the OP wants "volunteer" child care....she/mothers that want that should understand that they have to reciprocate..that you have to give to get....which is what people used to have in the "old days". Instead we live in a society that wants to insulate itself. We have children but want them to be conveniant for just us. Our job threaatens us with dismissal if we take time to care for our/our spouses health, why do you work at/support a place that treats families so poorly? We find our neighbors/coworkers dull or time consuming, so we do not cultivate a relationship that blossom into a good and valuable resource....because we might have to reciprocate and give time of ours.

    The idea that we may have to accomodate someone's immediate need so that they will accomodate ours is just too threatening. We want someone that requires no ties to just give it to us. Sorry, that is no one's duty.

    I understand the problems that the OP has, as I have been a single mother, as said before. And I had numerous medical problems at the time.

    But the OP has not said why she does not try the very common sense, simple
    suggestions that I have offered. Instead of taking the iniative and employing the effort to help herself and her family (and others, potentially), she says"You just don't understand" or that we are "being nasty".

    Why does she not broach the hospital and round up the "volunteers", herself being the first one to make the sacrifice? It is only right.

    And if you say that you do not have time, well just think that everyone of us, from "elderly thumb twiddlers" to single women to busy mothers consider their time valuable and make choices on how to spend it wisely. And if you (as a parent) think that your time too valuable to spent creating this service, why should anyone else?

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