Those Overly Exaggerating Nursing Stories - page 3

Do you ever read those stories from nurses that completely play up and skew what nursing actually is for the sake of an article? I see them now and again and I distinctly remember them all over the... Read More

  1. by   amoLucia
    Quote from Davey Do
    Bosoms need to heave in order to indicate spontaneous respirations.

    That's Male Nursing Talk.
    My difficulty was to determine to write bosom versus bosums.

    I have them both (healthy, thank you, Lord).
  2. by   Euro_Sepsis
    Certified Gold.
  3. by   amoLucia
    "Tormented, I think, how do I assuage his pain. Oh, how I long to hold him in my aching arms until my longing dissipates. But my sense of duty and propriety gnaws at my anguished core. Where are my limits? Do I abandon my ethics to broach that imaginary boundary crossing over into that dark netherland of guilty bonding closeness.

    Ever so silently like a church mouse, I approach his bedside. His respirations slowly rise and fall. Lying there on crumpled sheets like a discarded tissue, I see him. All my deepest instincts well up in me. Multi tubing lines fall into a swarming huddle as I struggle to untwine them. My fingertips singe as I touch his pillow. Gently and softly, ever so softly ...

    But alas, ever so faint and remote school time memories of my mentors come flooding back to me. Like marble monuments to times long gone they stand to observe my every move. I float awash, like flotsam caught in a river of whitewater. Admonished, I hear the others nearby. They too have their own wants of me. Down my unit's long darkened hallway, I behold a view of call lights like a swarm of fireflies on a hot, humid summer night flickering. The incessant roar of monitor beeps and pump alarms play an unsynchronized chorus to me.

    Their hunger, thirst, wakefulness, hot and cold all beg my attention. So much needed. And so to them I turn, slowly, and with mixed regrets ..."
  4. by   heron


    Where's the Fabio gif when we need it?
    Last edit by heron on Sep 17
  5. by   Davey Do
    Quote from Hygiene Queen
    "Suddenly, a tortured cry shook my foundations. It crumbled me to the core. It shattered my shimmies."
    *sigh*

    So beautiful.
  6. by   Davey Do
    Quote from heron


    Where's the Fabio gif when we need it?
    giphy-gif
  7. by   txmurse69
    Quote from Hygiene Queen
    "Suddenly, a tortured cry shook my foundations. It crumbled me to the core. It shattered my shimmies. I ran, though I ran blindly, not seeing but hearing, feeling, tasting the anguish which I knew I must quell. All my senses, but my eyesight, beckoned me to go.

    Rounding the corner, I could finally see what had called me. My eyes had opened like a defiant flower in Spring. It was a man. A very handsome man... my patient who had entrusted his life to me... and he was in pain. My heart melted, but I knew I must be strong. Somebody had to save him. I readily accepted the challenge..."
    Now that was DAMN funny!
  8. by   txmurse69
    Like you, I roll my eyes at many nursing articles and posts. I dont "like" them unless i actually like them, lol. I work Med-Surg and if my nurse friends/coworkers post something akin to "another shift of saving lives" I un-friend them, no patience for the drama. I love what I do including the butt wiping, repositioning, educating non-compliant patients and annoying students that think nursing is about saving the world, LMAO. My motto is "keeping them alive, until 7:45" Just my own dark humor, lol
  9. by   Hygiene Queen
    Quote from amoLucia
    Lying there on crumpled sheets like a discarded tissue, I see him.


    So romantic!
  10. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from txmurse69
    My motto is "keeping them alive, until 7:45" Just my own dark humor, lol
    Sorry, you've just been written up for getting OT. You may only keep them alive until 7:15, and then you need to clock out.
  11. by   txmurse69
    Quote from Julius Seizure
    Sorry, you've just been written up for getting OT. You may only keep them alive until 7:15, and then you need to clock out.
    Now that was DAMN funny!
  12. by   Horseshoe
    Quote from amoLucia
    But alas, ever so faint and remote school time memories of my mentors come flooding back to me. Like marble monuments to times long gone they stand to observe my every move. I float awash, like flotsam caught in a river of whitewater. Admonished, I hear the others nearby. They too have their own wants of me. Down my unit's long darkened hallway, I behold a view of call lights like a swarm of fireflies on a hot, humid summer night flickering. The incessant roar of monitor beeps and pump alarms play an unsynchronized chorus to me.

    Their hunger, thirst, wakefulness, hot and cold all beg my attention. So much needed. And so to them I turn, slowly, and with mixed regrets ..."
    Wow! Well done!!!
  13. by   amoLucia
    Anybody can jump in and continue "The Saga of Nursing" for the next chapter.

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