Thinking about leaving hospital nursing, need advice

shoegalRN, RN · Feb 4, 2011

A few comments...
First you stated that you confronted the nurse and she apologized...so it seems that the situation has been taken care of. You also wrote a note to the director.....so I don't think you need to go to HR since it does not appear that the incident with this nurse has escalated......unless I missed something?
Second, talking and spending time with co-workers doesn't mean that you have to divulge information about yourself and who you are dating. You could ask them questions.....talk about them. People love to talk about themselves. It takes a bit of effort to be part of a team. I quoted you above, because it struck me as odd that you consider yourself a social butterfly and like to spend time talking with your patients...but when it comes to your co-workers you will only be "cordial." It also seems to me that you are very critical of the people you work with....if you see them talking about someone else you punish them by not talking to them unless it is work related.
Nursing is stressful, particularly in critical care areas and sometimes people aren't always on their best behaviour.....but guess what...that is life. Stop judging everyone around you and hold yourself to your own standard.

I decided to take the complaint to HR because this is NOT the first time this has happened to me. I am nipping this mess in the bud. Regardless if she apologized or NOT, she was way out of line and if "people" are coming up to her telling her this mess, this needs to be addressed by HR. I barely worked one shift with this person.

And I judge my co-workers based on how THEY judge me. Yes, I am a social butterfly, but I don't feel the need to discuss anything personal unless I WANT to! Fitting in with them is all about telling your personal business which I don't do. Everybody is dating everyone and it's all about trying to "figure you out" and get in your business which I feel I'm not obligated to do.

I don't mind speaking to them, even speaking with them. However, I don't care for the personal drama. And yes, if they are talking about other people around me and smiling in their face, then I only want a professional working relationship with them and NOTHING else. And I feel it's nothing wrong with that. Yes, I do talk to them like I said about "little things" that I am not the focus of. However, I cut it off at getting too personal. I am friendly but I have boundaries and don't care to discuss my dating life or theirs for that matter. Some people have no boundaries and want to discuss very personal things I feel should be discussed behind closed doors. And the only reason why they want to know what's going on with you is to run and discuss it with everybody else.

I do hold myself up to my standard and it dont bother me if co-workers don't speak to me or not, I have a life outside of work and I'm cool with that.

mcleanl · Feb 4, 2011

I do hold myself up to my standard and it dont bother me if co-workers don't speak to me or not, I have a life outside of work and I'm cool with that.

Perfect....cause I believe that is the probable outcome.

shoegalRN, RN · Feb 4, 2011

No one can tell you what to do but there is a lot of good advice in the comments I read. I have spent thirty some years in nursing and have had my share of confrontations with "cliques" at work. Have worked ICU, flight and am a nurse practitioner. For the last 6 years I have been doing respite care in the clients home. I have done travel nursing around the country as well.
It takes all kinds of people to be good nurses and they aren't all the most accepting of their peers. There are also many very insecure people in nursing and sometimes the stress of the job or other stressor makes them attack others.
That said, it would be a shame if you ended your hospital career without being sure that you are doing what you are best at and what you enjoy most. So, look at all the facets of this situation and try to make the best decision for you. Good Luck!

You know, you are right. However, I came from a corporate office setting where professionalism was EXPECTED and the norm. I'm most comfortable in that type of setting. Everybody pretty much stuck together because it was the union against management. Things were direct and there were clear boundaries.

I'm just tired of the hospital setting. I want to get back to a corporate setting and not go the adminisatration route. I never been treated the way I have in nursing while I was in corporate. I just want to be happy again.

OldNurseEducator · Feb 4, 2011

I'm a very friendly person with everyone...just like you. One thing I really liked that kept me from being too involved in office politics was doing home care. You work pretty much independently...at least where I worked I did. I still got fired from a per diem hospice job because I didn't fit in with the cliche when I did have to go into the office. It's everywhere. Unfortunately, people act like teenagers in all settings at work. Everyone wants to be accepted and liked, just like young kids. The older I get, and I'm getting pretty old, the easier it is to not play office politics. Just be you and keep up the good work. Your family is all that is important anyway. Just my :twocents: !

beewink · Feb 4, 2011

My husband is a blue collar worker who works in a large facility with hundreds of coworkers. He said the type of behavior I have described to him that exists in nursing would never be tolerated at his corporation. I've been a nurse for 14 years and have decided that while nursing may be considered a "profession", there are many who are unprofessional within its ranks. For me, being a nurse has proved to be a big disappointment.

netglow, ASN, RN · Feb 4, 2011

Ditto bee, never saw this childishness in my other career, 20 + years of the other career.

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Feb 7, 2011

My husband is a blue collar worker who works in a large facility with hundreds of coworkers. He said the type of behavior I have described to him that exists in nursing would never be tolerated at his corporation. I've been a nurse for 14 years and have decided that while nursing may be considered a "profession", there are many who are unprofessional within its ranks. For me, being a nurse has proved to be a big disappointment.

Agree

There are many who are not professionals ... and there are many who are unprofessional.

This is probably one of my biggest disappointments with nursing (it's a great role generally IMHO) .... I get to work with people who possess the professional aptitude of a newt. I also get to be at high school all over again ....and again :eek:

OCNRN63, RN · Feb 7, 2011

Hello all!
I have been a nurse since May 2009. I don't want to give too much info here, but I basically am fed up with hospital nursing. I currently work ER and due to an incident that recently happened, I am seriously thinking about leaving hospital nursing all together. No, it was not a med error or anything like that. It was simply I was personally attacked by another RN who was going on a "reputation" that she said I have of being snotty, stuck up and anti social.
I have already filed a written complaint with my director and I am seriously thinking of going to HR. I feel this is creating a hostile work environment since this girl is part of the "clique". I simply choose to stay to myself, I speak about work related things only, I pinch in and help out when needed, but I simply do not engage in gossip or telling my personal business. I spend most of my downtime reading up on protocols and work email. I am professional with my co-workers but they don't know much about me and I prefer to keep it that way.
I feel my work reputation is under attack here. I did approach this person and let her know how offended I was and I was going to file a complaint with the director and HR. She did apologize, but attempted to make "small talk" with me and I just didnt feel comfortable speaking with her at all on a personal level.
Now, I don't look forward to going to work at all. I'm sick of the politics in the hospital and I'm ready to go back to a more professional environment that I came from. I have been applying for non-hospital jobs so I can have a peace of mind.
I have an interview for a phone triage position at a very well establish company and I'm some what excited about it and I'm some what sad about it. I do love being in the ER, but I really don't want to work for another hospital if it's like this at majority of them. I'm quiet, I'm a hard worker, I'm a team player, and I'm good to my patients. I really don't understand why I can't be left alone to do my job and simply go home without all the drama.
Any advice? I'm sorry so long. And yes, I would rather nip this mess in the bud because I take "deframation of character" issues very seriously.

You sound like me. I go to work to work. I don't think I'm anti-social, but I don't talk about my personal life at work (it's really not that exciting). I'd rather just get along with everyone without having to know all of the intimate details. I'm not interested in the "Girls' Night Out" that are organized after work. I'd rather go home, put on my pj's and relax.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It seems a quiet, diligent worker would be valued.

Fribblet · Feb 7, 2011

So someone was mean to you and you left the ICU.

Now someone was mean to you and you're leaving the ER.

I think you're on the right track.

I'm not saying any of this is you fault, but it can't always be everyone else's.

shoegalRN, RN · Feb 7, 2011

So someone was mean to you and you left the ICU.
Now someone was mean to you and you're leaving the ER.
I think you're on the right track.
I'm not saying any of this is you fault, but it can't always be everyone else's.

No, I'm not blaming anyone. If I don't want to be "social", I don't have to be. Just looking for a place where professionalism is valued.