Things You'd Like To Tell Visitors . . . . and get away with it

Nurses General Nursing

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the other "things you'd like to tell" threads have been so great -- how about one more?

to the daughter of today's patient: i understand back pain, believe me. i've had the surgery and was off work for six months. don't tell me you're having such severe back pain that you need to sit in my chair -- the one that reaches all the way up to the computer keyboard -- instead of the visitor's chair (which i hunted high and low to find for you since we only have two on the whole 16 bed unit) when you're walking around in 5 inch stilettos. if your back pain were really that bad, you'd be wearing danskos like me. (or any type of shoe that doesn't involve a 5 inch -- or even 3 or 4 inch heel!) sit in the visitor's chair and be grateful that i found it for you. i'm sure your feet do hurt. again, try some more sensible shoes.

yes, your daughter does have dark skin on her forehead. it's the same color as the skin on the rest of her body. i assumed that was because she was african american, but you tell me she wasn't that color before her heart surgery? i'm baffled. no, i don't know what we can do about it, but i'm sure we didn't cause it. if you want to bring in cocoa butter to rub on her forehead, that's fine with me. you can put anything on her forehead you like, but i guarantee you she'll still be an african american when we discharge her. (oh, that's a picture of your daughter on the wall? she has bangs, but otherwise she looks the same color in the picture as she does right now. if i were you, i'd be more worried about the ventilator and the left ventricular assist device.)

anyone else?

Hmm... been reading this thread... sounds like any other day in the eastern appalachian mountains. LOL.

However; when something needs said, it usually gets said... from both sides!

Our families bring sleeping bags and blow-up mattresses though, and usually sleep in the lobby and various waiting rooms in every chair and corner. Sometimes it's impossible to even walk through a waiting room.

They either hover like worried mothers or shoot each other in the head.

Another thread here posed the question (paraphrased) "Who poses more of a problem to you at work, your patients or your co-workers?", and a lot of the responses on that thread were of the type "Neither, it's the visitors that give me fits". Now I can see why..... I am a nursing student, and this thread has been entertaining and educational all at the same time. I'd just like to thank everyone for all of their responses.....

You say- hello security!

Specializes in Psychiatry.
Society has changed into a very "me" society. If someone doesn't like the rules then they ignore them. When they want something, they want it NOW. People are no longer able to wait for anything. They only care about themselves.

Pepper,

Wow, sure hit that nail right on the head... :yeah:

Specializes in Gerontology.
Pepper,

Wow, sure hit that nail right on the head... :yeah:

Thanks. I find myself becoming more and more aware of how "me" centred society has become. Cell phones everywhere - I was on a bus once, listening to a very painful phone call from a girl to her mother about the mean old doctor who took away her driver's license just because she had had a seizure. Mean ole doctor.

I find visitors no longer respect rules, nurses or other patients. I refused to tell a family what room their mother was in once because they came to visit at 11:30 PM. I threatened to call security once because one man would not leave - because, as he put it "I am the husband". I said I didn't care. Visiting hours were over, the roommate was unwell and needed rest. He had to go. He threatened to report me. I told him to go for it. As he left, my co-worker said "good for you" and "we have your back" if he tried to report me. He was full of hot air of course, but it just re-inforced the "me" attitude.

Specializes in Hospice, Geriatrics, Wounds.

How about, "No I don't know when your loved one is going to pass. No, I can't call you right before so you can run up here at the last minute. No, I don't know how much time she has left."

I work in psych, so here it goes:

"Yes, your mother's room mate is "crazy". So is everyone else here. This is the PSYCH ward, you nimrod!"

"That poor little soul you are laughing at and showing disdain for has a dementia. SHE doesn't know what she is doing. What's your excuse?"

"I think your dad is just a sad old weary man who is just so very tired of living. You act like an a** to him and make him feel worse. You are an abusive jerk! I think you've got some serious control and personality issues. I dare say we admitted the wrong person to our unit. What's say we send Dad home and leave your sorry butt here with us?"

"Good golly, you're ignorant!"

"No, we haven't any coffee right now and I will not stop and make some at this very moment. I've got one pt trying to elope, one pt stripping, two men trying to beat each other up and one ol' gal trying to eat her styrofoam cup. Coffee is not on the top of my list."

And finally:

"Honey, I'm sooo sorry. Your husband will not get better, he will only get worse. You are lovely people. You break my heart. Let me get my wand. I'll make it go away."

I had a heck of a night!

Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

I've already told you three times, I am not your Mom's (sister's, cousin's, exbrotheri-in-law's 3rd cousin once removed) nurse. I cannot tell you what is Going On With him/her/it! I will tell the appropriate nurse you would like to ask her questions. She likely won't answer because its non of your business anyway!

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

No, I cannot stop and make you coffee. Can you not see the handful of meds I've got in my hands?

What I actually say is, "I'm sorry, they don't let me make coffee, the last time I tried I set the kitchen on fire." Not true, but they usually don't ask again.

I have to say THANK YOU to all the wonderful posters! I have spent the last little bit reading these, and I was not even worried that I was not 'job hunting' for a few minutes. Thanks for the diversion! I do hope that you come up with more! This was a great thread!!

Specializes in Psychiatry.

Pushing your wife's call light and then standing at the nurse's station and staring at us while drumming your fingers on the counter ONE MINUTE later is not going to help you to get what YOU want. In fact, you are so outrageous I'm going to ignore you and hope you go away.

Umm...excuse me but why are you eating off your mother's tray? It's freakin' blended food for crying out loud! Gross and gross some more!!!You're supposed to be feeding her since you volunteered. Geeze, louise!!!!!!:confused:

Specializes in Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

Umm...yes, there IS a doctor in the house...but being 8:00 on a weekend night, it is a resident covering his/her department for the whole hospital. We won't hesitate to call the doc for your family member requiring urgent/ emergent care as soon as we get vital signs, basic assessment of the pt, the lab values the doc is going to ask us to read over the phone and do whatever we can immediately (O2, PRN meds, etc). But no, I'm NOT going to page the MD because you would rather have a doctor change Mom's dressing than a nurse.

Or to report the nurse that you say Dad thought was mean yesterday to wake him up to take his heart medicine.

Or because he just now mentioned to you that he has a post-nasal drip that he has had for 2 days but hasn't mentioned to the MD's when they have seen him.

Or to challenge yet again why they don't want to give Mom more morphine (which they explain to your sister every day is because Mom is too lethargic for it to be safe to increase the dose any more).

Or to spend 30 min discussing in detail with you the long-range plans for Auntie's discharge; that's for you to talk to their Attending/ Case Manager/ Social Worker about when they're here (and yes, we know you work days but it might be necessary to arrange a time for a phone call to speak to the team who can give you the specifics)

Yep, I could go on. And on. But you get the picture.

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