The math doesn't add up

Nurses General Nursing

Published

You are reading page 8 of The math doesn't add up

netglow, ASN, RN

4,412 Posts

You go to Walmart and get a bunch of return envelopes and address/stamp to you - write something on the hospital card to do with thanking your patient for letting you care for them so that you can earn enough money to maybe one day, move out of your cardboard box in the hospital parking lot, and into the Rent-a-Nite motel down the street from the hospital...

Editorial Team / Admin

Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN

6 Articles; 11,658 Posts

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

The health care industry is becoming less and less concerned with the actual act of health care. We need a serious revolution to bring back real health care- none of this pandering to patients and families in the name of the almighty dollar- patient satisfaction scores for better reimbursement, the hotel atmosphere (seriously, who needs a marble lobby and player piano greeting patients/visitors as they walk in), and screwing over the staff (no to minuscule raise, having to pay a higher share of insurance premiums, fewer and fewer perks- I'm waiting for the employee discount in the cafeteria to disappear)- all while the execs are giving themselves bonuses in the seven figure range. This idiotic "thank you" card BS is all a result of this.

In the nameofStudorweprayamen.

LMAO, in our orientation the slogan was "Good ole Studor" to everything. I seriously want the insane amount of money this goofball probably gets from hospitals to peddle his key words and hourly rounding!

My recent favorite was when my manager told me I should be calling ER to beg report on patients they are handing off to me because "they might be in the middle of something, and it would be team oriented" and I should be just as worried over the 30 pts waiting in the ER waiting room as I am about my six assigned pts on med-surg floor. I laughed at her and said, "Nope, I will continue providing excellent care to my six. By the way, I'm never in the middle of something, regardless of the fact that I didn't get a breakfast break this morning or chance to pee once, and I barely got my 30 minute lunch break during which I fielded at least three calls on my ascom phone!" I also pointed out to her that I will be happy to be more "team oriented" towards our ER when they reciprocate by not sending us new admissions right at 7:00 shift change.

0402

355 Posts

I tell my patients my name twice during room orientation and while they can describe me and tell you nice things about me, they NEVER remember my name. In fact, I was just warned that I needed to get the patients to remember my name or I would face discipline even though they can clearly describe me. Please come back and reflect more on this thread when you are out on your own and caring for own patient assignment and discover that thank you cards are a meaningless and demeaning gesture for everyone involved.

Just last night, a pt asked one of the nurses for one of our "star" cards so that she could write one for the nurse "with the dark hair that's in a bob," which is me. I had had the pt the previous 2 nights, and the pt mentioned my name when the charge nurse rounded at the beginning of the shift. However, by the time she asked for the card and wrote on it, the name on the card was "Nika." Nika is not my name, and in fact, only the 'a' is even in my 5 letter, fairly simple, fairly common first name. The charge nurse did clarify that she was actually talking about me. For the rest of the shift, I was referred to as "Nika" by my co-workers. I guess I should be happy that I'm not being disciplined for her not remembering my name. =)

wooh, BSN, RN

1 Article; 4,383 Posts

Our "star cards" have a place for staff member's name, then it says, "Description," of course meaning to describe what that staff member did. We got a handful of cards back, with nurse's name, then a description of the nurse. Things like, "Blonde, short, pudgy" or "Old with grey hair." It was the greatest day in the history of those cards.

Guest343211

880 Posts

LMAO, in our orientation the slogan was "Good ole Studor" to everything. I seriously want the insane amount of money this goofball probably gets from hospitals to peddle his key words and hourly rounding!

My recent favorite was when my manager told me I should be calling ER to beg report on patients they are handing off to me because "they might be in the middle of something, and it would be team oriented" and I should be just as worried over the 30 pts waiting in the ER waiting room as I am about my six assigned pts on med-surg floor. I laughed at her and said, "Nope, I will continue providing excellent care to my six. By the way, I'm never in the middle of something, regardless of the fact that I didn't get a breakfast break this morning or chance to pee once, and I barely got my 30 minute lunch break during which I fielded at least three calls on my ascom phone!" I also pointed out to her that I will be happy to be more "team oriented" towards our ER when they reciprocate by not sending us new admissions right at 7:00 shift change.

What the? Beg report? So by calling them and bugging them when they are busy, you are going to make them any less busy, so that they can give you report when they aren't ready?

I've got to know what people are inhaling lately.

ED change of shift dump. . .sometimes it can't be helped. . .other times, you just have to wonder.

Guest343211

880 Posts

Our "star cards" have a place for staff member's name, then it says, "Description," of course meaning to describe what that staff member did. We got a handful of cards back, with nurse's name, then a description of the nurse. Things like, "Blonde, short, pudgy" or "Old with grey hair." It was the greatest day in the history of those cards.

LOL:roflmao:

That's just so. . . uh. . .considerate of them. . .LOL

PeepnBiscuitsRN

419 Posts

Specializes in OB (with a history of cardiac).

Dear Suburban Couple,

Thank you for choosing our hosp-...oh wait, that's right...you didn't choose it, your insurance dictated it... well, anyways, thanks for graicing us with your prescence here in the birth center. We know it wasn't an easy thing, having to come to an inner city hospital with all the dirty people. I remember you telling everyone who would listen- even the dirty people. And as your indispensible, ever-cheerful overnight nurse, I want to say that I just LOVED waking you up so I could press on your belly and look at your hoohah to make sure you were not bleeding all the heck over the place, and to make sure that your baby wasn't choking to death on its own vomit like it was on evenings, and especially to make sure you weren't in agonizing pain from your stat section that I'm SURE was our fault (see, we psychically told your baby to wrap his umblilical cord around his neck a few times and make sure it was good and snug). I also want to heartily thank you for allowing me to help you learn to breastfeed your baby and listen to you whine-er, um, verbalize your opinion that you're sure the baby will wake up on his own to eat if he's hungry. You know, I acutally eagerly took on a night position because it brings me such joy to wake new mothers with wedding rings the size of my front tooth (by the way, I hope you downsized that little sparkler because, well, babies with huge gouges down the side of their face are so unsightly).

I hope this card finds you, your well-put-together husband, your mother and her alarmingly fine clothing and your wedding ring doing well.

Your ever-cheerful RN going on 2 hours of sleep.

P.S. I hope next time I can meet your doula who acted as an expert advocate and educator extrodinare on nuchal cords and decels (I'm sure she was one smart cookie)

Specializes in PCCN.
"Dear Patient A:

I'm so very glad that we got a chance to know each other after you fell down 6 stairs and broke your femur. I hope that you can recall your excellent stay at Most Awesome Hospital with fondness ... the surgery, the pain, the joy of personal hygiene with immobility. Please visit us again at your earliest convenience.."

"Dear Patient B:

How thoughtful of you to make your hospital stay so memorable for nurses, physicians, ancillary staff, other patients and visitors, and everyone who came within 20 feet of you. Your colorful descriptions of your planned actions if you didn't get pain meds "on time" were so entertaining! And the Oscar-worthy performance when your out-of-town children arrived ... brilliant! We look forward to your repeat performance of Noncompliance: The Trilogy in the near future."

If y'all need more ideas I can keep writing ...

omg im going to you- know- where- for this, but that just made me laugh out loud!!

Specializes in PCCN.
I REFUSE to answer my phone on the potty, the hucs yell at me all the time about it. But seriouslly, I am lucky if I get to pee 2 times on a shift and those 2 minutes are mine.

I'd LOVE to answer the phone while doing business" I sound like im in a bathroom?? pffffftttttt. Why yes , you are correct! hold a moment while I flush......

Jenni811, RN

1,032 Posts

Specializes in Intermediate care.

A thank you card?? Yea...if i were a patient i'd be a little wierded out.

our hospital literally took away our care plans. As long as we type up our individualized care plans, which night shifts is responsible for, we do not need to chart on them. Managment said this is because if we are doing our charting in their flowsheets then we are charting on the care plans already. Like if their care plan is about skin cares, as long as we chart what we did related to skin on our shift then there is no need to chart on the care plans. We just need to make sure SOMETHING is in there but don't chart on them. If any of that makes sense?

basically managment said there is no point to charting on the care plans because it is double charting and just creates unncessary work for us.

VICEDRN, BSN, RN

1,078 Posts

Specializes in ER.
Just last night, a pt asked one of the nurses for one of our "star" cards so that she could write one for the nurse "with the dark hair that's in a bob," which is me. I had had the pt the previous 2 nights, and the pt mentioned my name when the charge nurse rounded at the beginning of the shift. However, by the time she asked for the card and wrote on it, the name on the card was "Nika." Nika is not my name, and in fact, only the 'a' is even in my 5 letter, fairly simple, fairly common first name. The charge nurse did clarify that she was actually talking about me. For the rest of the shift, I was referred to as "Nika" by my co-workers. I guess I should be happy that I'm not being disciplined for her not remembering my name. =)

The wonderful irony, Nika? I am also "with the dark hair that's in a bob". A cute one too. Just sayin'. :yes:

You stealing my thunder now? Ha Ha.

My name is also fairly common though not as common as Amy or Sarah and easy to remember.

+ Add a Comment