The long term effects of being fired

Nurses General Nursing

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I have been fired once in my career. And it really hurt me in alot of ways. It has been some months, since the occurence, but I still get sad. Anyone else, with some long term effects of being fired???:crying2:

Specializes in med/surg.
as usual, leslie, you put it perfectly! if you are a person who strives to be "good" (as much as we all fall short) it is confusing and heartbreaking to be the victim of this kind of attack. the physical violence i experienced once was less painful than this brutalizing of a spirit. i started to believe in my own worthlessness for awhile. i pray to god that i have never inflicted this injury:heartbeat to another human being.

blueridehomern:

i have to tell you that what you said in your post below "brutalizing the spirit" is what we are feeling. there is no mistaking what it means!

lois

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Specializes in med/surg.
i understand.

admittedly, i've lost a huge chunk of my 'passion' and too often, contemplate another career.

what direction are you headed in now?

leslie

Hi Leslie:

When I got out of nursing before, I became a vendor and sold cacti and gifts at street fairs and farmers markets. But along came the gas and housing crunch, although I still did fairly well. But 911 is what finally got me out of it after awhile with all the ups and downs. Right now I am setting up a gourmet and organic business. I plan to sell it at street fairs and festivals that are very popular with other vendors that sell high quality and unusual items. The beginning is quite a struggle, with all the state permits you need, having to go to class to get food handlers cards, all the product investments. Each event costs about 4-5 hundred bucks for 2 days, but everyone does very well there. It is going to be a lot of hard work, but let me at it. It will be therapy for me. So I am really looking forward to it. It's probably going to take another month, because you have such time limits for registering, etc. I will never take anyones abuse again. My grown son has a rather bad temper and sometimes he will yell at me over the phone. So what I did one day is hang up on him, and he has never done it again.

Thank you for thinking of me, and your wisdom is great. You are a strong person.

Red

Red

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Specializes in med/surg.
Hi Leslie:

When I got out of nursing before, I became a vendor and sold cacti and gifts at street fairs and farmers markets. But along came the gas and housing crunch, although I still did fairly well. But 911 is what finally got me out of it after awhile with all the ups and downs. Right now I am setting up a gourmet and organic business. I plan to sell it at street fairs and festivals that are very popular with other vendors that sell high quality and unusual items. The beginning is quite a struggle, with all the state permits you need, having to go to class to get food handlers cards, all the product investments. Each event costs about 4-5 hundred bucks for 2 days, but everyone does very well there. It is going to be a lot of hard work, but let me at it. It will be therapy for me. So I am really looking forward to it. It's probably going to take another month, because you have such time limits for registering, etc. I will never take anyones abuse again. My grown son has a rather bad temper and sometimes he will yell at me over the phone. So what I did one day is hang up on him, and he has never done it again.

Thank you for thinking of me, and your wisdom is great. You are a strong person.

Red

Red

I'm sorry, I meant coffee business. Just kind of side-tracked now.

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red, i wish you every success in your endeavors.

i truly mean that.

seemingly you have struggled w/an impossible situation, and have taken control.

how i admire you for that...:redpinkhe

leslie

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Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice.

On my last job, selling water treatment stuff, I got fired for "not calling in or showing up" on Good Friday. WTH? I had the day off, approved by management and the owner. I was fired on Monday, and I had an interview for my NA position on Thursday. On Friday, the hospital called and offered me the job, but the bad thing was, orientation wasn't until 6 weeks later, and I was denied unemployment. I appealed, and lost, and I appealed again and lost. I appealed a third time and I won. The company's first story was I didn't call in and I didn't show up. I had documentation that I was permitted to have the day off without pay. Then it was because I was "late" all of the time, and there was a list of my so called being "late". Then it was I didn't "remind" staff 2 days in advance of taking the day off. (Ok, so what was my saying to my boss on Wed. of Holy Week "Is it ok if I work 9-5 tomorrow (Thursday) instead of 11-7 because I want to head to my Mom's early so I don't have to drive in the dark, and I will be off on Friday."). At the final appeal, I was asked about this, and I laid everything out. The unemployment judge let me read my file, and if I didn't know myself, I would swear the person in the file was one of the worst employees on the face of the planet. Fortunately, the Judge didn't allow that information to be put into my record. I won the hearing and my unemployment, but it took another 6 months before I got my money.

This experience taught me two things. Never trust any employer, and I put everything in writing.

This firing also beat my self esteem down to a level it has never been before. The only good thing that happened was I got my job at the hospital after this disaster. While it isn't always a good day on Med Surg, at least I come home at night knowing that I made a difference in at least one person's life that day.

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Specializes in Addiction & Recovery, Community Health.

Yellowfinchfan,

I got the old "shoulder shrug" too. I will never forget that...

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Specializes in med/surg.
Yes, especially if they lied or added their own twist to the "issue."

My last job just burns me up because of how she described things when basically it was pretty obvious that I was fed up and said it the way it was. Instead of tarnishing me, we could have come to an agreement that it was time to go.

I asked her if she wanted me to leave before it came to that. I didn't care. I made it clear that if she wanted that I would do it. If she didn't want to work with me and my concerns I wouldn't waste my time. Instead I got tarnished by retaliation. We went from that clear understanding to the agreement that I would work with EAP over my frustrations. Talked to EAP once and WHAM. I basically was at my wits end with the BS and ready to go. Needed to go. But I told her that I would. She never said I think it would be best - nothing. She was probably floored with that and came across as fake in wanting to work with me or something. It's funny how when you stand up the the boss about the truth how they decide to describe it as insubordination. Unemployment investigated it and said it was NOT.

It hurts for a long time. What hurts is why they lied or why they put their own twist on it to slander you. I don't think it is fair because we can't do that to them but we all know they have plenty to be reported on. It is not fair.

EAP, HR, ethics hot line, what jokes. Anything to do with any kind of organization is a branding instrument, meant to burn you to the ground.

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Specializes in med/surg.
this is painful and really pulls the rug out from you emotionally. i have always been a "top performer" so being "allowed to resign" after a year of stupid crap was a real blow.

i cried, slept, and felt like a worthless person for a couple of weeks, finally started seeing a counselor (christian, for me) who listened and helped me resstructure my day and plan for the future.:urgycld:

have an incredible job now, with supportive coworkers and bosses, in a small christian organization that walks the walk! last october, i was ready to find a hole to crawl into, now i love life. stay strong, and remember, it really is not about you, its about them!!! this too shall pass...:redpinkhe

so glad for you!

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Specializes in med/surg.
So glad for you!

You know, what you said has dawned on me a couple of times. It's them, not you! I really thank you for that. I had kind of forgotten that. I have been telling myself this over and over. Also, "God is greater than any circumstance."

Something funny! Sometimes I feel like what I think Christ felt. Not that I am saintly or perfect. Or trying to convert anyone. But what did he do? What did I do that was so bad?

I told my shrink that trying to regain my self confidence, I really thought for a long while, and realized the cruelty was generated by these other people. I asked him, if you discovered where some of your negative feelings come from, wouldn't you be free of them? He said, not necessarily, you have the memory of them. ECT anyone? :lol2:

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Specializes in med/surg.
red, i wish you every success in your endeavors.

i truly mean that.

seemingly you have struggled w/an impossible situation, and have taken control.

how i admire you for that...:redpinkhe

leslie

Leslie, that was so sweet of you. Let's see how it turns out. Maybe I will win the lottery!

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I had an experience as a junior nurse in the BICU. I had the most critical patient in the unit (no one else wanted him), along with another patient, and that night we had two big admissions. It was sooo busy but I stayed afloat. The critical patient had been having a problem with his ET tube all weekend. I watched for it and worked with RT.

At change of shift, our attending came in. He stomped back and forth outside the patient's room and interrupted me while I was giving report. He ordered me out of the room. I felt hassled and didn't know why he was behaving that way. Then at the nurse's station he exploded at me in front of everyone for not recognizing the problem with the ET tube, that this was an emergency, etc. He did this in a very belittling and aggressive fashion, like I couldn't see an emergency with my patient.

I explained very calmly that it was not an emergency, we were working with RT, no decompensation etc. but he interrupted to yell some more. I felt humiliated in front of my co-workers and began to question if I really had missed something. He ran off into the patient's room and started calling a code. I clocked out, with about 8 other nurses around me staring.

After a lot of crying and talking to my nurse mentors, I went to HR the very next day and transferred. Fool me once. I realized I would never be seen as a professional in such a work environment. Some of the other nurses said why are you leaving, nursing is like this everywhere. I refused to believe it. All I knew was, I was in danger of learning to tolerate being abused - as the other nurses had, and see it as normal. That is not why I chose nursing.

When I told my manager I was leaving she supported the MD. This was painful. Whenever anyone saw me at my new dept. I told them, oh, I needed a change. The story is still too difficult for me to disclose. Very few people know about this.

Though, my new dept was wonderful and there was a wisdom to all of it in the end. I guess it wasn't being fired but it sure left a mark.

Wow, it felt good to share. :heartbeat

Never doubt your worth as a person and get out of any situation that makes you question that.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I was fired from two jobs, but that was when I was very young, and it didn't matter. One situation that got to me was when I got in some serious trouble working for a psych hospital and while I didn't get fired, I can say it was a harrowing situation where I knew better, but conducted myself differently. It stayed in my mind for years, and actually, it made me a better person and because of it, I am a nurse today. I took a negative and made it into a positive, but at least once a month, I think of those days, shudder when I think of how childish I was, and how it totally changed my frame of mind. I am now more responsible and think of the domino effects.

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