The Stigma of Mental Illness and Suicide

What makes someone decide to take her own life? A nurse contemplates the stigma still attached, almost 30 years after her own suicide attempt. Most of the nursing community, the Christian community, even the general public, can't see mental illness for what it really is. What has your experience been? How do you feel about mental illness, recovery, and suicide? Nurses Announcements Archive Article

There has been quite a lot of conversation about Mindy McCready's suicide and mental illness,and it amazes me the different opinions people have about suicide and mental illness. I thought that I should "come out of the closet" once again about this issue, and talk about my own experiences with it.

(The article below was written by a man who has the illness and his experiences and thoughts. I thought it would be good springboard for what I am going to write, below: A Tragic story that applies to millions.)

I had a serious suicide attempt in 1985, and I had no thought whatsoever of what effect it might have on my family and friends. For that matter, I didn't realize that I had a mental illness and alcoholism. I just wanted out of the pain. Even though I have come a long way in recovery, and even though now I am a Christian, depression can be a very powerful thing. It is like a vacuum pulling you away from everything that is logical and good - even from the knowledge of God sometimes.

I found out later that I have bipolar illness, like Ms. McCready, and I have to be on medication to keep it under control (some don't seem to). I am ashamed to admit it and I hide it. People judge it, in themselves and in others - which I think is one reason that there is such a bad outcome to the disease. If people knew that they had it, and sought help and treatment, I don't think there would be so many suicides. This woman did seek help, however, so treatment is not always successful.

I hate to even bring this up, but it seems that even in the Christian community, where we are to have compassion and understanding, there is a huge stigma. Many believe that if you do what you are supposed to do, and if you have enough faith, you won't need medication. The implication is that you basically won't have bipolar or depression (or other mental illnesses).

This belief is found in the secular community as well. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps, do what you are supposed to do, and all will be well.

I haven't found this to be true for me. I even went off medications for two years and the results were almost disastrous for me and for those around me. Trust me, I tried, and I "did everything I was supposed to." Still, God did not heal me; still, I could not get and keep my act together. But read about Paul in the Bible, who suffered physical affliction that was not healed: (1)For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.

Again I feel ashamed about this. Not that I have the illness, but about admitting in the open that I have it. Admitting that I still struggle sometimes. Even in the nursing community, where we have been educated, and where we have access to a lot more information, the stigma persists.Hang out at any nursing station and you will hear it: "That" woman, that "nutjob," etc.

But I answer to God, and I take responsibility for keeping myself and others safe from my symptoms. What can I say. I'm thankful for all God has done and is doing for me. He is so good! I'm thankful He has kept me sober and has kept me out of a psych hospital for several years, and I hope I never take these things for granted! (2) ... Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

What has your experience been? How do you feel about mental illness, recovery, and suicide?

Kudos to the other nurses who have "outed" themselves about this issue. One that I admire is Viva las viejas here on allnurses. She has given me a lot of courage in this regard!

1) 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

2) 2 Corinthians 12:9

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Two things.... One, I'm the guy that wrote the article. When I wrote it, I was actually incensed that the only time MI gets covered is when a celeb dies, or goes to rehab. The second thing is, I was humbled by the fact that my little "rant" actually ended up getting multiple shares shares on Facebook, Google +, and twitter as well. It seems it was shared here also, and I've read what you have had to say about your experiences as well. I hope you don't consider this an intrusion... none of this will be seen nor shared by any means with the "outside world" as an FYI... I myself am a very private person.

However, since I am here, and have read your comments, I'd like to enter my 2 cents if I may... I would doubt seriously that a God would purposefully debilitate a creature with any illness. That being said.... If we are in fact created in a God's image, then that God would have emotions as well. It would logically follow that some might feel those emotions more strongly than others ;) . I tend to believe that is more likely the case with bipolar at least; it isn't so much always a bad thing as an uncontrollable one. I have moments of pure empathy for clients, or for children, or for injured animals. Moments of Joy and Love that transcend any drug, and emotional pains that burn worse than any hell. The strength of these emotions without medications completely overwhelm any and all logical thought. I had a really smart friend once that told me bipolar was the next step in human evolution. While that concept might be true, it isn't a ride I can handle without help.

In any case, it is nice to know I am not alone. That there ARE others out there trying to cope and make it daily in the "real" world as well. Good luck to you all. Hope my article helped you as much as it did me :)

So glad you wrote! Awesome job on the article!

And yeah there are lots of us fighting the good fight and trying to achieve a good quality of life that we deserve :) try

https://allnurses.com/health-stress-management/stranger-within-one-817286.html

Also several threads here:

Nurses With Disabilities

Specializes in pediatrics; PICU; NICU.

I also have struggled with depression since the age of 7. I remember back then repeatedly wishing I could "make myself dead". I'm now 56 & was finally given a correct diagnosis of bipolar 7 years ago. I've been on the right meds for me & I feel like an actual human being. I have no shame about having a mental illness because it's not something I had a choice about. It's just the way I was born.

I also have had several courses of ECT in the last 25 years & can honestly say it saved my life. I had no ill effects from it other than a mild headache after each treatment.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I also have struggled with depression since the age of 7. I remember back then repeatedly wishing I could "make myself dead". I'm now 56 & was finally given a correct diagnosis of bipolar 7 years ago. I've been on the right meds for me & I feel like an actual human being. I have no shame about having a mental illness because it's not something I had a choice about. It's just the way I was born.

I also have had several courses of ECT in the last 25 years & can honestly say it saved my life. I had no ill effects from it other than a mild headache after each treatment.

wonderful to hear from you! Yep had forgotten that I also had that feeling of wanting to wish myself dead or something, still do sometimes :( Feel free to stop by if you want to talk, or message me!

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Two things.... One, I'm the guy that wrote the article. When I wrote it, I was actually incensed that the only time MI gets covered is when a celeb dies, or goes to rehab. The second thing is, I was humbled by the fact that my little "rant" actually ended up getting multiple shares shares on Facebook, Google +, and twitter as well. It seems it was shared here also, and I've read what you have had to say about your experiences as well. I hope you don't consider this an intrusion... none of this will be seen nor shared by any means with the "outside world" as an FYI... I myself am a very private person.

However, since I am here, and have read your comments, I'd like to enter my 2 cents if I may... I would doubt seriously that a God would purposefully debilitate a creature with any illness. That being said.... If we are in fact created in a God's image, then that God would have emotions as well. It would logically follow that some might feel those emotions more strongly than others ;) . I tend to believe that is more likely the case with bipolar at least; it isn't so much always a bad thing as an uncontrollable one. I have moments of pure empathy for clients, or for children, or for injured animals. Moments of Joy and Love that transcend any drug, and emotional pains that burn worse than any hell. The strength of these emotions without medications completely overwhelm any and all logical thought. I had a really smart friend once that told me bipolar was the next step in human evolution. While that concept might be true, it isn't a ride I can handle without help.

In any case, it is nice to know I am not alone. That there ARE others out there trying to cope and make it daily in the "real" world as well. Good luck to you all. Hope my article helped you as much as it did me :)

Your article was wonderful! It's obvious that you were profoundly touched by Mindy McCready's death---not because she was well-known, but because she publicly represented the struggles of people with bipolar disorder and other serious mental illnesses, and what happened to her is what could happen to any one of us.

I'm heartened to read the work of other bright, articulate people outside of these forums who then come into our world and share what they know. We've had many conversations here about mental illness, especially since the Newtown, Connecticut school shootings, and we've learned that many among our number suffer with one condition or another......we've come out of the closet, so to speak. Nurses are very apt to experience anxiety and depression; it's part of the job for many.

But there is also a small but vocal minority of us who have bipolar, or borderline, or schizophrenia, and rather than hide it, we talk openly about it because we believe that it's the only way to eliminate the stigma of psychiatric disorders.

Thank you for visiting us. Hope to see you around here often.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 35. Two months later I was involuntarily committed to the state hospital with that diagnosis. These were not happy times for me but they were very educational.

I learned that there were people who were better off then I and those who were worse off. We were all in the same place and we were forced to live and respect each other in a small space. If we could not get along the consequences were not very nice. (Too bad we cannot force Congrees to do this) It seemed like there was no rational treatment for this disease. The medications that worked had some really major side effects that made living normally nearly impossible. There is no wonder why many people go on disability. Some of these medications made your brain so foggy that you couldn't drive safely let along work. Then there were those that gave you the same side effects but didn't work at all. I felt like a lab rat.

Of course, when hospitalized you do have the right to refuse treatment but they also have the right to hold you longer for refusing treament. Unlike diabetes, a fractured leg, cancer, or other disease, I had very little say in my treatment except that I had the right to refuse. Refusing meant a big loss of freedom. Since I also was involuntarily committed, I also lost my second ammendment rights. As an avid hunter, this hurt me deeply. Again I've never heard of a diabetic that was not allow to own a gun unless he was a felon. It is no wonder that many people do not seek treatment in this area because of that fear alone.

Unlike other hospital stays, when I returned home and to work (thank goodness I still had my job), I was treated the elephant in the room. People knew I was there but they were afraid to acknowledge my presence. Finally I told them to think of this as me getting back from a "wonderful" vacation and that lightened the mood to where I was treated somewhat "normally". When I went into the hospital for gall bladder surgery, I was greeted with open arms and celebration upon my hospital release.

Until the stigma is lifted, we will always be treated like second class citizens. The only way that the stigma will be lifted is that we start coming out of the closet. We should not allow ourselves to be hidden. We are bright intelligent professionals. Just like there are professionals that are diabetic and survive cancer. We too can over come our adversities and be successful and be (insert diagnosis here).

Fuzzy

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Go FUZZY!!! :up:

Please keep advocating for people with MI issues. You're very good at it, and you set a good example of how to live a successful life with one of these disorders. Good for you! :yes:

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

My first exposure to mental illness was when I was seven. The was a small blonde, very very quiet boy named Terry in my class. His family lived around the corner from us. Looking back, we never played there. Ever. We collected at every other house in the neighborhood, including ours, but never at their house.

I remember we could be as rowdy and loud at the other houses as we liked, but at Terry's house, we had to whisper and be quiet. Terry's dad was seldom home. He was a career Army officer and when he was overseas, the mom came back to her hometown.

One day, Terry didn't come to school, which was unusual. Three days later, he was still absent and the truant officer made a home visit.

His knock was finally answered mid-evening.

He found Terry. He left and came around the corner to get my dad and call the police. Terry's mom was just sitting in the living room...

unresponsive...rocking in her rocking chair.

Terry had hanged himself somehow. He used his dresser, a coat hanger, and a belt. He had apparently done it early that morning.

This many years later, I still wonder how a seven year old could ever be that despondent or how he had enough knowledge to hang himself? The mom was apparently never a suspect.

I asked my mom about Terry many years later, and she told me the police, the truant officer, and the coroner came back to our house and had the necessary discussions around our kitchen table to avoid unnecessary publicity. (My parents were both lawyers.)

I've always wondered what demons could push a seven year old into killing himself? Terry, I hope you're finally at peace wherever you are.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
My first exposure to mental illness was when I was seven. The was a small blonde, very very quiet boy named Terry in my class. His family lived around the corner from us. Looking back, we never played there. Ever. We collected at every other house in the neighborhood, including ours, but never at their house.

I remember we could be as rowdy and loud at the other houses as we liked, but at Terry's house, we had to whisper and be quiet. Terry's dad was seldom home. He was a career Army officer and when he was overseas, the mom came back to her hometown.

One day, Terry didn't come to school, which was unusual. Three days later, he was still absent and the truant officer made a home visit.

His knock was finally answered mid-evening.

He found Terry. He left and came around the corner to get my dad and call the police. Terry's mom was just sitting in the living room...

unresponsive...rocking in her rocking chair.

Terry had hanged himself somehow. He used his dresser, a coat hanger, and a belt. He had apparently done it early that morning.

This many years later, I still wonder how a seven year old could ever be that despondent or how he had enough knowledge to hang himself? The mom was apparently never a suspect.

I asked my mom about Terry many years later, and she told me the police, the truant officer, and the coroner came back to our house and had the necessary discussions around our kitchen table to avoid unnecessary publicity. (My parents were both lawyers.)

I've always wondered what demons could push a seven year old into killing himself? Terry, I hope you're finally at peace wherever you are.

so incredibly sad!!

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

I believe the pressure of today's economic situation along with the pressure of less to work with are contributors of mental illness. Granted, some is genetic, some familial, and even the stigma of society itself. I also believe anyone can become mentally ill so nobody is exempt.

Liddle I feel your pain, but I think we have come a long way. I do not hide my MI, I venture to say most of my co-workers know. But I do get tired of acting @ work, with family and when I do venture out for a social. It is so draining. Recently started a new med, since I was on other for quite a few yrs.

?? do you ever get so tired from the battle??

remember it is a disease, ex: diabetic that needs insulin.

I will try to make you laugh, staff assigns me the bipolar,hx PPD, etc. all the time.

My faith does help me get up and go to work.

God Bless you

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

This is so awesome---the fact that there are so many of us coming forward with our MI and doing our small part to rid the world of the stigmas associated with mental health conditions. It's good for other MI individuals to see that one CAN succeed and live a 'normal' life with scary-sounding diagnoses like bipolar disorder and BPD. It's even better for everyone else to know that we are not to be feared!

:)