Singlism in the workplace

Nurses General Nursing

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Have you experienced singlism in the workplace? Singlism is the stereotyping, systematic discrimination, stigmatizing, exploitation and ignoring of single adults with no children.

I'm noticing this type of discrimination more and more now because I'm at "that age" where almost everyone is married and starting a family. I'm one of the few unmarried childless people in my department and my director certainly demonstrates her favouritism for the married mothers on our team. She looks the other way when they're late to work or need to leave early, gives them more frequent pay increases, accommodates a flex schedule for them, asks us singles to cover for the married moms and take on part of their workload when their struggling. This accommodation only swings one way... in the direction of married mothers. An example, a single childless colleague of mine was questioned more rigorously than the married moms on her team ever were when she asked for the following accommodation: to start her workday 15-20 minutes later so she could help transfer care to the oncoming homecare nurse who cared for her mother with advanced Alzheimer's while she was at work. Her director delayed for so long my colleague had to turn to her union for help. There seems to be a readiness to accommodate without question if someone states their child as the reason, but often (in my personal experience) a single persons request is fraught with suspicion and questioned for its necessity.

What I find to be the most insulting about Singlism is there's an inherent belief that a single person's time is worth less or that we don't have responsibilities outside of work because we're single and childless.

It's frustrating because this sort of discrimination, like others, can often be subtle, exclusionary behaviour or social habits... difficult to prove and poorly addressed in HR policy. And... if you dare attempt to address it in effort to put a stop to it, it is often responded by further insulting and stigmatizing the single person who has already been targeted by the unfair treatment or the common and popular reaction: "You're just bitter".

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I started my family very late in life, but have always been a self-advocate when it comes to fair scheduling. You want to take your kids trick-or-treating and that's fine ...but maybe I want to get out and start a bar fight. YOU WILL LET ME!

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

Theres always something isn't there.

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Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..

Oh, I'm not sure working nights is good for me.

I'm tired, scrolling through all the General Nursing topics and I swore this thread said "Sadism in the workplace."

I about jumped out of my shoes and clicked on it, thinking to myself "Oh no, someone has to warn this person, that's not allowed while you're at work."

Yeah, glad I read it again before posting. Can you imagine my post if I hadn't?

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Specializes in OB.
Oh, I'm not sure working nights is good for me.

I'm tired, scrolling through all the General Nursing topics and I swore this thread said "Sadism in the workplace."

I about jumped out of my shoes and clicked on it, thinking to myself "Oh no, someone has to warn this person, that's not allowed while you're at work."

Yeah, glad I read it again before posting. Can you imagine my post if I hadn't?

This post should have come with a "coffee spew" warning!

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Have you experienced singlism in the workplace?

Not really. I didn't get married until I was a couple months shy of being 30 years old and had a vasectomy a few months before getting married. I have never regretted my decision to not have children and I don't believe I have ever been discriminated for my life stance.

Most people will use whatever excuse they have at their disposal to validate their behavior.

Case in point: A day shift nurse was chronically 10 to 20 minutes late for her shift with the excuse that went something like, "I have to take my kids to school and then stop off at the hospital cafeteria to get something to eat because I'm diabetic!"

I responded with the premise that her endeavor to be a responsible parent to her children or effectively deal with her disease were not excuses for being late for her shift. Her problem was her decision not to deal with her problem of poor time management.

My response changed nothing in her behavior or the situation, but it allowed me to voice a premise for which she could not argue.

It's like my Dad once told me: "Two guys will get into a fight over different opinions. One will win the fight and the other will lose. Then they'll both go away with the same opinion they each had before the fight. The fight just proved that one was a better fighter than the other".

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Have you experienced singlism in the workplace? Singlism is the stereotyping, systematic discrimination, stigmatizing, exploitation and ignoring of single adults with no children.

I'm noticing this type of discrimination more and more now because I'm at "that age" where almost everyone is married and starting a family. I'm one of the few unmarried childless people in my department and my director certainly demonstrates her favouritism for the married mothers on our team. She looks the other way when they're late to work or need to leave early, gives them more frequent pay increases, accommodates a flex schedule for them, asks us singles to cover for the married moms and take on part of their workload when their struggling. This accommodation only swings one way... in the direction of married mothers. An example, a single childless colleague of mine was questioned more rigorously than the married moms on her team ever were when she asked for the following accommodation: to start her workday 15-20 minutes later so she could help transfer care to the oncoming homecare nurse who cared for her mother with advanced Alzheimer's while she was at work. Her director delayed for so long my colleague had to turn to her union for help. There seems to be a readiness to accommodate without question if someone states their child as the reason, but often (in my personal experience) a single persons request is fraught with suspicion and questioned for its necessity.

What I find to be the most insulting about Singlism is there's an inherent belief that a single person's time is worth less or that we don't have responsibilities outside of work because we're single and childless.

It's frustrating because this sort of discrimination, like others, can often be subtle, exclusionary behaviour or social habits... difficult to prove and poorly addressed in HR policy. And... if you dare attempt to address it in effort to put a stop to it, it is often responded by further insulting and stigmatizing the single person who has already been targeted by the unfair treatment or the common and popular reaction: "You're just bitter".

I haven't experienced singlism, but I've witnessed it. I've also repeatedly witnessed preferential treatment given to staff who have kids.

It doesn't matter how anyone tries to justify this behavior, it's inappropriate, unprofessional, and unacceptable. It shouldn't be happening.

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We self scheduled, and if we couldn't, the NM would schedule us based on "who worked it last?"

Mother's Day was always a fun day...:rolleyes:

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Mother's Day was always a fun day...

"Mutha is half a word."

-LaWanda Page

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