Single moms, daycare and day shift
- 1May 13, '13 by HelenaHandbasketWhen I first got divorced I was working as a corporate nurse. M-F, flexible hours 8-ish to 4-ish, no holidays, no weekends. Then I got laid off.
I collected UI and with their blessing, went back to school full-time but still was able to manage the kids' schedules and be here for them when they needed me.
UI ran out and I was waitlisted for the LPN-RN bridge program I applied to. So I had to redesign my whole life plan. My ex is unemployed but we have 50/50 custody so at any point, should he decide, he can take me to court for half of my income. Therefore, I have to play nice with him in the sandbox.
I went back to work 24 hours a week night shift and found the physical demands were too much. I'm still trying to finish up this semester and I am full-time. I was never seeing my kids and contrary to popular belief, one cannot live without sleep.
I have the option of switching to days which works well for me. Right now I'll be doing "desk" which is 8-4p however they are eliminating this position sometime in June and will go to primary nursing. The hours will be 7-3 and include of course, every other weekend.
I live an hour and 10 mins from my job. My kids' school is 1/2 hour away. I leave for work at 5:30a. How on EARTH do people who work 7-3 find daycare that early in the morning?? And dear Lord my kids will be a hot mess having to wake up that early everyday! I'm going to try and schedule as many of my days on the days the kids are at their dad's house but need the 40 hours a week to make ends meet. I don't have any family around either.
How can I make this work?! Also, I don't know HOW I'm going to fit school in there. Do I have to let go of my dream of becoming an RN for now? Being an RN would open up so many more options for me in terms of scheduling but my schedule may prevent me from doing that.
- 0May 13, '13 by wish_me_luckI am not trying to be rude and I know this is a big decision, but is it possible to move closer to your work so you don't have the really long commute?
Also, have you looked into private babysitters versus daycares? I think there are websites out there that you can put in your zip code and view the profiles and such.
- 1May 14, '13 by sugarik13I agree with other posts. Do you have an older neighbor with grown kids who could come over for 1-2 hrs in the morning, feed kids and help get them ready and put them on a bus or drive them? A local college student...maybe a senior in HS near you who can drive? There are websites that let you search for different types of domestic help - sittercity.com and care.com are 2 I know people have used (not sure where you live or if they cover your area). Do you have a local community center that does before care and will bus the kids to school? Good luck.
- 0May 15, '13 by MierKatIt's hard to give some ideas, not knowing how old your kids are.
For school, until your RN program starts, can you take online classes?
If moving closer to work is a problem, I second sugarik13's suggestions about a high school or college kid to come in at 5:30 and get
the kids to school. Or a semi-retired person.
If you can't manage the LPN-RN program in person, there are online RN programs that may work, depending on what state you live in.
That sounds really tough. I hope your ex can get a new job sometime and just doesn't expect you to support the kids and him not to contribute. Good luck!
- 1May 15, '13 by charlottegirlI went through nursing school as a single mom of 3 in elementary school and WOW it was hard. I had family to help but their dad was uninvolved. I worked as a nurse aide 12-16 hour shifts on weekends. You are an LPN....is there any chance of getting a job closer to home (perhaps in a LTC) on the weekends (would their dad take the kids then?)
Sure it was exhausting working doubles but SO worth it.
- 1May 15, '13 by 1feistymamaIf you can play nice with Dad and he's unemployed, maybe he can come to your place in the mornings and do the parent thing. Then you get the kids afterschool and have evenings with them. If that isn't feasible, neighbors may help if you're on friendly terms with them. My elementary kids go to a friend's house in the morning and then all of the kids walk to school. Others offered good ideas as well....change jobs or move closer to work or find a home based center that'll take the kids earlier.
Lots of choices but you're the only one to decide what's best for your family. Best of luck to you!!! My only experience of being a single parent was having to do everything on my own when hubby deployed with the Navy and at least then I still had 2 incomes, just no help. I feel for any parent who is trying to parent alone. It's hard.