NurseTales, or, How To Ruin A Perfectly Good Dinner Table Conversation - page 2

by VivaLasViejas Guide

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I have a friend who once made her teenage daughter throw up at the dinner table by telling a story about an accidental shooting. It was quite a night to remember. My family and I were having supper at her house, and over the... Read More


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    We would do this all the time at school. My cadaver lab partners and I would always go to the quad to get lunch after spending 4 hours with "texas" our cadaver. The smell alone could have cleared the building but we were never satisfied with that. We would talk about the things we did that day or how we removed certain organs. Ruined many a lunches that semester ha.
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    I try to not tell gross stories around my family/non-nursing friends but sometimes I can't help it...as for my nursing friends, they get the complete unedited version, with blood, vomit, and poop, oh my!

    Nothing seems to phase me. Last night I scarfed down my food and then came back and saw that my Fleets enema that I ordered at 0030 was finally verified at 0230...so I gave that and the patient had a NICE BM
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    ThatGuy, your story reminds me of my own college years, when we nursing students more or less took over the small downstairs cafeteria. We'd go get burgers and talk about things we'd seen and done in clinicals that week.....often to the dismay of other diners, who soon learned to have lunch elsewhere.

    One day when I'd just launched into a discussion about my patient with necrotizing fasciitis---the only case of it I've ever seen---a woman at a nearby table cleared her throat to get our attention. "Excuse me....I'm eating here, you know."

    I held up my burger gleefully and said "Well, whaddaya know, so am I!" and went right on with my story, to the delight of my fellow students. Now, many years later and having grown up just a bit more since then, I realize how rude that was; still, the mischievous part of me can't help terrorizing innocent, non-medical family members now and again with tales from the dark side.
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    basically the only place to study in our school was the cafeteria unless you found a spot in the computer lab/library. after the first 3 days of class we got used to it and discussed anything and everything while eating. we would eat during class too with all the gory pictures our prof's had in the PPs

    BUT, there are 2 foods I cannot eat anymore thanks so a prof. one is chocolate milkshakes and the other mashed potatoes. any guesses what he was describing? I've gotten over the prof who described hematuria ranging from light pink to fruit punch to cola (billi) but she only mentioned it 1 or 2x. he mentioned it every time he could during that lecture

    but eating during war stories? no problem, the gorier the better
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
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    I have grossed my husband out a few times, with the reminder that "I am eating here."

    One night my friends (not nurses) were out to eat and I had enough of them discussing poop (I wanted to finally have a conversation not discussing it) and I told my friends that we would talk later about their poop problems and that people around us were eating.
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
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    I've managed to gross myself out once over breakfast. A patient died the night before, multisystem organ failure from liver failure, and well... while she was dying her eyeballs bugged out and she had yellow stuff oozing out of them. After work my hubby took me to breakfast, and I ordered eggs in a basket over easy. There I am telling this story and dunking my toast in egg yolk. Not for long, however. I looked down, turned a little green and quit eating, and probably made the other diners happy by stopping the story as well.

    Also there was that episode of family guy where the dog ate his own clone that fell apart. I don't remember what I was eating, but it very nearly came up.
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
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    My son is very definitely his mother's child... we can sit and watch those real-life ER shows together while sucking on red popsicles, eating spaghetti, just about anything. That's my boy!
    VivaLasViejas likes this.


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