Nurses with children always go home early? - page 2

I know it is controversial topic. First I explain myself a bit. I would like to have children at some point but I dont have them at the moment as I deal with some health issues and I havent met right... Read More

  1. by   LovingLife123
    You know, I've heard this a lot over my lifetime. It gets a little aggravating. I'm so glad I work on a unit where they expect you to put your family over your job. I have never once though asked for special treatment and I don't know of any mom that has.

    Yes, my kids come first. That's a given. I've been given the responsibility of raising tiny, human beings into full fledged adults capable of living in society. It's a pretty big responsibility.

    What I don't understand about your post is, you say they get to go home first after a shift? How does that work? Don't they have their patients and you have yours? Don't you just stay until your charting is done? How is any other nurse supposed to stay for that? At 1900, I give report on my patients and then any incomplete charting gets finished and I go home. The same with everyone else. Yes, sometimes I get out ahead of the single people.

    We take turns on who goes home early if census is low. I don't necessarily like it as it cuts into my precious PTO time I save to spend with my kids. The only time I have ever volunteered is when I don't feel well and I was not picked. I also like my money too much. You see, with kids, I have bills to pay. They are expensive. Clothes, shoes, medical care, food, electricity, water, school supplies, toys. My older son's shoes cost $150 a pair right now. His jeans, $60 a pair. Extracurricular activities cost me about $400 just for basketball leagues this fall. So I kind of need to work. Probably more than the single people.

    I think your post is way off base. If you don't like the way your unit treats "single" people, find a new job.
  2. by   KelRN215
    OP, what kind of environment do you work in? Rarely can inpatient nurses just leave early so I am interested in hearing more about this issue.

    In my current capacity, my colleagues and I are salaried employees working in various hospitals setting patients up for home services with our company. When I started, I was told the hours officially were 9a-5:30p. The girl who was leaving the position I was taking over regularly came in between 9:30-10 and left by 3 because she "had 2 small children." I know another of my colleagues has to pick up her kids from daycare at 5 so definitely isn't staying at her hospital until 5:30p. But that's not my concern, them leaving early doesn't affect me. When I have a doctor's appointment, I go in late and if I have a flight to catch on Friday evening, I leave early too.
  3. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    That is nonsense. Nurses who have children (I among them) have no right to expect other nurses to help bear the burden of raising them. All nurses on a unit should be faced with the same expectations. What if all the nurses had kids? The same goes for picking off-days and holidays. Expectations should be made clear when being hired to a unit. If you are continually getting the short end of the stick talk to your unit manager. If that doesn't work go someplace you will be treated fairly
  4. by   Agatha12
    Probably, I should have described situation clearer. When I worked on the floor, we had a silly bedside handover, which means the coming staff were going from one room to another to receive the report about all the patients. It means that the last nurse will leave a job even 30min later or more, but the first one might finish couple of minutes earlier. And now who was saying that wants to be the first nurse to give the report? obviously mothers because they will always use the argument " I have kids to collect" that single childless person cannot beat. Important to mention, that people who had to overstay are not paid for this time. I know this is managment problem and I advocated to change it but unfortunately there is no will from managment for a change. I left but it sticks in my mind, why those nurses with kids cannot accept that sometimes they will give priority to single person and sometimes they will go first. Also I witnessed situation when nurses took personal call in the moment when It was important to do something for patient, for example checking narcotics together so pain medication are not delayed.. When I pointed out that it is not the moment for personal call, I was told that I dont understand because I dont have kids.

    I really dont find it professional and also it is unpleasant to be told that you dont have kids so you can stay longer or you have no right to correct someone.
  5. by   LovingLife123
    Quote from Agatha12
    Probably, I should have described situation clearer. When I worked on the floor, we had a silly bedside handover, which means the coming staff were going from one room to another to receive the report about all the patients. It means that the last nurse will leave a job even 30min later or more, but the first one might finish couple of minutes earlier. And now who was saying that wants to be the first nurse to give the report? obviously mothers because they will always use the argument " I have kids to collect" that single childless person cannot beat. Important to mention, that people who had to overstay are not paid for this time. I know this is managment problem and I advocated to change it but unfortunately there is no will from managment for a change. I left but it sticks in my mind, why those nurses with kids cannot accept that sometimes they will give priority to single person and sometimes they will go first. Also I witnessed situation when nurses took personal call in the moment when It was important to do something for patient, for example checking narcotics together so pain medication are not delayed.. When I pointed out that it is not the moment for personal call, I was told that I dont understand because I dont have kids.

    I really dont find it professional and also it is unpleasant to be told that you dont have kids so you can stay longer or you have no right to correct someone.

    We do bedside report as well. It should t matter if it is bedside or not. So, essentially you are talking about 15 minutes here. That's why you get upset? Over 15 minutes? Daycares have strict policies about when the close. You can't be late to pick them up. I can't believe you are complaining about that. Do you not organize report so when the next shift comes on, you all have a person to give report to?

    Also, we can't carry our phones around with us. Mine stays in a little room on our unit where we put our personal items. Yes, I check it. If my sons' school or daycare calls, I call them back. It could be an emergency.

    I honestly think you are being petty. I would have expected from your post that there were some huge issues going on, like these nurses always going home hours early or always getting certain days off, but that's not what is happening.
  6. by   Agatha12
    Quote from LovingLife123
    We do bedside report as well. It should t matter if it is bedside or not. So, essentially you are talking about 15 minutes here. That's why you get upset? Over 15 minutes? Daycares have strict policies about when the close. You can't be late to pick them up. I can't believe you are complaining about that. Do you not organize report so when the next shift comes on, you all have a person to give report to?

    Also, we can't carry our phones around with us. Mine stays in a little room on our unit where we put our personal items. Yes, I check it. If my sons' school or daycare calls, I call them back. It could be an emergency.

    I honestly think you are being petty. I would have expected from your post that there were some huge issues going on, like these nurses always going home hours early or always getting certain days off, but that's not what is happening.
    well, every nurse gives report invidually and if they are 4 of them it really takes time. If you are late every shift at least 15-30min (sometimes longer) it accumulates into lots of unpaid hours. But ok if in your opinion it is only 15min then why single person always need to stay and be the last to give the report? how that is fair? let parents stay this 15min each time.. they can pick up their children later. I dont think they have any right to feel that they should always have priority because they have children.
    Last edit by Agatha12 on Nov 10
  7. by   Agatha12
    Quote from Here.I.Stand
    As far as taking time off to care for sick kids, that's reality. As Hppy said, we can be charged with neglect. Plus it's irresponsible to 1) not allow a sick child to rest and 2) expose other daycare kids (although that's kind of moot, because daycares don't allow sick children to come)

    There have been instances where I did choose to prioritize kids ahead of work. My teenaged daughter has skied a 5K in -15° weather. She's my iron butterfly! So when she tearfully asked "Mommy can you please stay with me?"... I did.

    My husband's work piles up if he misses work...as it is, his typical workday is 10-12 hrs. My hospital has a float pool so can supply someone to replace me.

    Again though, I would be equally as understanding of those caring for elderly parents. There are things more important than a job -- children are just one of those things. Also, when I was a benefitted employee, I absolutely did have to use PTO when calling off for them.
    I explained why it is not possible.
  8. by   JKL33
    Quote from Agatha12
    Probably, I should have described situation clearer. When I worked on the floor, we had a silly bedside handover, which means the coming staff were going from one room to another to receive the report about all the patients. It means that the last nurse will leave a job even 30min later or more, but the first one might finish couple of minutes earlier. And now who was saying that wants to be the first nurse to give the report? obviously mothers because they will always use the argument " I have kids to collect" that single childless person cannot beat. Important to mention, that people who had to overstay are not paid for this time. I know this is managment problem and I advocated to change it but unfortunately there is no will from managment for a change. I left but it sticks in my mind, why those nurses with kids cannot accept that sometimes they will give priority to single person and sometimes they will go first. Also I witnessed situation when nurses took personal call in the moment when It was important to do something for patient, for example checking narcotics together so pain medication are not delayed.. When I pointed out that it is not the moment for personal call, I was told that I dont understand because I dont have kids.

    I really dont find it professional and also it is unpleasant to be told that you dont have kids so you can stay longer or you have no right to correct someone.
    I understand what you're saying but your problem really is with management. If people are late getting out because of this particular method of report, then that is the problem, not your coworkers. If you are giving away your time (not getting paid) then that is also an issue you need to address with management. By the way - how exactly does that work? Surely you aren't punching out before giving report - so then your employer is simply choosing not to pay you for recorded time on the clock?

    You may hear people talking about kids a lot (as their excuse for needing to go first), but in reality the reason they leave first is because they aren't willing to do what you do - and I don't think it's an ethical imperative that they should, since there are other (better) options/solutions than some people having to stay late every day regardless of anything.

    With regard to the phone calls, that is not your job to police.

    I actually don't think that the need of those with families come first (as a rule) with regard to the type of situations you're talking about. Everyone has their own life, their own needs, and their own outside commitments. Everyone is being paid for the same job/role. However, this is an issue that should be irrelevant most of the time with better routines in place and fair expectations that are the same for those who do the same role.
  9. by   LovingLife123
    Quote from Agatha12
    well, every nurse gives report invidually and if they are 4 of them it really takes time. If you are late every shift at least 15-30min (sometimes longer) it accumulates into lots of unpaid hours. But ok if in your opinion it is only 15min then why single person always need to stay and be the last to give the report? how that is fair? let parents stay this 15min each time.. they can pick up their children later. I dont think they have any right to feel that they should always have priority because they have children.
    Then talk to your management since you deem this such an injustice to you. You guys should organize ahead of time who talks to who. And if you are giving report to 4 people I find it hard to imagine that only the mom's get out on time.

    Have you ever heard of pick your battles? I would you tread lightly here before you start making people mad over something trivial.
  10. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from LovingLife123
    So I kind of need to work. Probably more than the single people.
    This doesn't seem like a fair argument. That single person might have five dogs to feed and provide vet care for. They might have family members to support or even just to buy gifts for. They might have a retirement account that they are working towards funding. They might have student loans to pay. Maybe they are saving up money for a vacation. Every person's life looks different. Whatever their reason for needing to work, it isn't less real than your son's $60 jeans and $400 basketball league.
  11. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from Agatha12
    well, every nurse gives report invidually and if they are 4 of them it really takes time. If you are late every shift at least 15-30min (sometimes longer) it accumulates into lots of unpaid hours. But ok if in your opinion it is only 15min then why single person always need to stay and be the last to give the report? how that is fair? let parents stay this 15min each time.. they can pick up their children later. I dont think they have any right to feel that they should always have priority because they have children.
    Are you not paid hourly? Are you salary?
  12. by   Been there,done that
    Other nurses with children are NOT going home early, they MAKE it their priority to go home on time.. you should do the same.
  13. by   TexasRN98
    Let me compare it to you like this - You know when you're younger and you ignorantly whine about things being "so unfair" and then you get older, things click and you get that "aha!" moment. THIS is just like that. You're NOT going to get it until you have kids. Parenting is not like caring for a pet or even an elderly parent, which I've done both. You are inherently responsible for vulnerable children that depend solely on us. You think parents are doing cartwheels to clock out early so they can go hit up happy hour with their girlfriends? Some kids have special needs, some parents don't have a partner to help them- it's called life and it gets us all eventully. But, above it all, I can guarantee you that none of them leave early to go kick up their feet and watch Netflix; their hardest job begins the minute they clock out of said hospital. You're a nurse - where is your compassion and understanding? Try extending them the same grace you would want given to you, because karma has a funny way of making you eat humble soup once the tables have turned.

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