Nurses EAT their own!!! Help! - page 7

:o I am getting very depressed. I was working in a small OB office until last October. I worked with different women and we had our days but worked things out. Well, I started at a hospital... Read More

  1. by   mark_LD_RN
    Originally posted by KC CHICK
    I know this sounds bad, but ...here it goes anyway....
    I think this backstabbing is a problem of WOMEN and not of nurses in general. I've worked with men in an office environment (before I became a nurse)...and they don't behave in the catty way that women tend to do. Working with women in that same office, I observed much backstabbing and rudeness.

    Sorry to say gals (myself included), but I see it as a gender issue...not a nursing issue. -OR- A gender issue that affects nursing....that might be a better way to put it.

    Anne
    I tend to agree with this view mostly. I have noticed it and been through it first hand. I have been stabbed in the back and had thing made up about me numerous times in the past , i find it was out of jealousy mostly. and it was always done by a female coworker ,never had a male coworker do such a thing. but i am sure there are males out there that would do it
  2. by   gizzy76
    I understand exactly what the original poster is getting at...what do you do? My father taught me to stay out of that stuff, walk away or ignore it etc and not join in. Well, I am a new employee to a LTC facility and the one day in report EVERYONE was crabbing about a certain RN. I felt completely ashamed to be there but I could not leave because it was report and being the 'newbie' I did not feel that it was my right to say "Okay, can we get back to the task at hand please". I did approach the RN who was orientating me later on and asked her that if I did anything that I hoped the staff would be good enough to tell me to my face and not behind my back. She just nodded, couldn't look at me and said "Yes, yes, of course, don't worry."
    Well, I AM worried. Being a new grad, I'm very scared that people will begin talking if I screw up and because I don't know everything about my new place of employment. It does not help that I am in a small town either.
    There is only 1 male who works in the facility; he's a Nursing Attendant and everyone talks about him as well and how incompetent he is.
    It makes me very, very sad that we have to be like this.
  3. by   baseline
    We as humans tend to be that way. Small communities in particular. Now....is this "small" community a hospital? a village?, an apartment buiding in Brookln?

    If you don't like it, don't become part of it. If you don't believe something, say so. Do the best job you can do and if you can look at the person in the mirror before you go to bed, and feel good about who that person is.........sleep well.
  4. by   gizzy76
    Small community is the town of about 3000 people. Everyone knows everyone etc. Thanks for your insight though baseline, it's just hard sometimes.
  5. by   baseline
    I guess I need to clarify what I meant, as I reread my post and got confused myself!!! LOL.

    I meant that small communities can exist anywhere, and that its not nurses in particular who gossip and are backstabbing. Humans in general and especially in their own "small" community be it a hospital, village or an apartment in Brooklyn.

    But yes, I grew up in a small town and my father was quite prominent figure so nothing I did escaped public scrutiny.
  6. by   mario_ragucci
    Lol baseline, you make sense and it's okay to go off :-)
  7. by   VickyRN
    "Nurse-eating" seems endemic in units in which the nurses are unhappy, morale is low, management is out of touch and overbearing. It also is a feature in most ICU units, especially in the larger teaching hospitals.
    I think Barry Adams was the person who coined the term "horizontal violence." I think this sums up the sick phenomenon of "nurse-eating" beautifully. When nurses feel like they are being treated unfairly, that they have no voice in their practice environments, are being abused by TPTB, have very low self-esteem and feel inferior-- well, oftentimes, these clueless nurses will take out their frustrations and bad vibes on their fellow nurses (rather than focusing their frustrations and anger in a positive manner to effect change). It is my firm conviction that "nurse-eating" is a management problem--it starts at the top and is encouraged at the top.
    "Nurse-eating" is also a BIG factor in nurse recidivism issues. I, for one, left an ICU unit because of the treacherous atmosphere. Besides feeling like I was back in junior high, I truly felt like my license was in jeopardy just about every shift I was in that unit.
  8. by   cwazycwissyRN
    Exellent post vickyRN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I agree, horizonal violence is so real. There are several very good sites explaining this.
    The places of employment that have the >>>sit back and watch, and it will take care of itself........attitudes and management styles, contribute to the abuse.
    Thanks for your post.
  9. by   cwazycwissyRN
    http://www.uniontalk4nurses.org/hori..._violence.html
    Here is one of the sites for those interested in reading more.
  10. by   cwazycwissyRN
    Introduction
    Horizontal violence is non physical inter group conflict and is manifested in overt and covert behaviours of hostility (Freire 1972; Duffy 1995). It is behaviour associated with oppressed groups and can occur in any arena where there are unequal power relations, and one group's self expression and autonomy is controlled by forces with greater prestige, power and status than themselves (Harcombe 1999). It may be conscious or unconscious behaviour (Taylor 1996). It is, generally, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually damaging behaviour and can have devastating long term effects on the recipients (Wilkie 1996). It may be overt or covert. It is generally non physical, but may involve shoving, hitting or throwing objects. It is one arm of the submissive/aggressive syndrome that results from an internalised self-hatred and low self esteem as a result of being part of an oppressed group (Glass 1997; Roberts 1996; MCCall 1995). It is the inappropriate way oppressed people release built up tension when they are unable to address and solve issues with the oppressor. In the majority of western cultures, a dominator model (Eisler 1993) of social organization enables workplace hierarchy to limit autonomy and practice of various groups of workers and therefore acts as an oppressive force. Workers are socialised into the oppressive structures and unequal power relations of the workplace system. Some groups of people within each particular workplace unconsciously adopt inflated feelings and attitudes of superiority. Some groups adopt unconsciously submissive attitudes, learned helplessness, within the workplace. The internal conflict, generated by conforming to structural pressures and, in some, subduing the desire for autonomy, whilst over inflating it in other groups, compounds the self-hatred and low self esteem of certain groups of people and perpetuates the cycle of horizontal violence (Taylor 1996).

    Horizontal Violence is a symptom of the dynamics around oppression and a sense of powerlessness. It is to the workplace culture like water is to fish. It moulds, shapes and dictates the behaviour of those within the workplace culture. It is a form of bullying and acts to socialise those who are different into the status quo. Horizontal violence in the workplace is the result of history and politics in western society and the ideology and practices associated with the socialisation and stereotyping of males and females in western culture. Horizontal violence is a systems and cultural issue, a symptom of an emotionally, spiritually and psychologically toxic and oppressive environment. Horizontal violence is not a symptom of individual pathology, although individual pathology flourishes in a climate that supports and condones aggressive behaviour.


    Horizontal violence

    Thought I would post this one, I found while surfing.
  11. by   baseline
    Very interesting article and concept......and I still maintain, it is not just females or nurses who "eat their young".

    Thank you for posting this.
  12. by   cwazycwissyRN
    http://www.acegraphics.com.au/articles/hastie02.html
    I ommitted where I found the article above.
    jaxnRN this site also stated several solutions to the problem. You may find some of them helpful.:kiss
  13. by   Brownms46
    I agree that the concept of "eating their own" doesn't only exist with nurses. Nor do they only exist within areas where women are predominately employed. I also don't agree that "nurse eating" only occurs in setting where nurses feel disrepected or have low moral.

    There are those places where people come into an a great setting, and create turmoil, but because they're unhappy, jealous, discontented, full of self-loathing, lazy, and love to keep some sort of discord going on!

    Some people are so filled with anger, that they are little good to themselves let alone anyone else! I have worked in such an situation. I have seen a great setting, disintergate so quickly, that you wouldn't believe it was the same setting. It only takes one person like this to come in, and bring about an total change in the work setting. But when there are more who come on about the same time...it can change things in a heartbeat!

    And what happens is they make everyone just as miserable as they are.

    Some people just shouldn't be around other people, and definitely shouldn't be in nursing! But they can be very deceptive in hiding who, and what they are, until they destroy any setting they enter. It's like a cancer that eats away, as does considerable damage before it is found and cut out!

    This has been my experience, and is my opinion.

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