Nurses EAT their own!!! Help! - page 5

:o I am getting very depressed. I was working in a small OB office until last October. I worked with different women and we had our days but worked things out. Well, I started at a hospital... Read More

  1. by   mario_ragucci
    Originally posted by askater11
    It's a WOMAN thing. So I've decided to join everyone at lunch but stay neutral in the backstabbing conversations. (don't say anything at all)
    If you don't say anything, it's as if you are saying you applaud it. If you hear gossip, you have to say "Would you say that about me?" and if the answer is yes, then you let your feelings be known then, and start discussing something else more fun. Malicious gossip is usually perfered to constructive conversations because some peoples thoughts are destructive, and there is no way for you to know that unless you listen to your guts and heart (ewwwwww!)
  2. by   askater11
    I don't care what people think about me. I guess that's my problem.
  3. by   baseline
    This is not a woman thing or a nurse thing. It is a people thing. I agree with Stargazer completely on this one. At one place I worked, the Medics were an all male group, and they whined and fussed and tattle taled more than any group of women I had EVER dealt with. (Grammar Police!!!)

    You just hit a bad group. Get out. Find a better environment or let it roll off your back.
  4. by   sanakruz
    I dont understand the phenomena but I have seen it repatedly.
    I think it has something to do with lack of personal power and lack of validation of experiences and this is why it apperas to be something woman engage in more than men.
    I dont care about what people think about me either, but it took me a long time to get here.
    I do not want to witness the eating of young either.
    I find it deeply frustrating.
  5. by   baseline
    Eating the young IS NOT UNIQUE TO NURSING!!!!!!! Trust me on this!!!!
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    It happens in male-dominated professions, too, you better believe it. I HATE when they say it's a female thing. THIS IS UNFAIR AND INACCURATE! I know from 10 years' experience in the military, a very OLD good ole boys' place to be.

    I got by it by ignoring and refusing to participate in gossip. I did not worry what others were saying about me (and they were talking about me sometimes, I know). I did not listen when they were discussing my coworkers in any negative light. I have found the less I worry what others think, the more respect I get in the long run. You command respect by your behaviors and reactions, I believe. Another thing: I have never gone to work with the objective to make friends. That is what a homelife/churchlife/familylife are for. In the process, however, I have made some WONDERFUL and KIND friends where I work, just by being me and refusing to take part in the negative and nasty things people did and said. I really do use the old adage: "If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all". If I have a problem w/someone specific, I behave as a adult and address it with that person IN PRIVATE (to help them save face I expect the same treatment. And I usually get it. The ones who talk behind me don't worry me one bit because people know me better and I can outlast gossip.

    I enjoy working much better this way. It' s how I advise you to do if you are to survive in your workplace. Rise above all this stuff! Be a beacon of positive thoughts and actions and refuse to let the negative get you down! People will find themselves drawn to you in a positive way after a while. The negative ones will leave you alone because they will see you can't be upset by them. They will get bored trying to shake you. Do all this and You will do FINE, trust me. Just be yourself. Good luck.
  7. by   Lausana
    Ditto baseline, this is a bad group...they aren't 'eating their young' she said they all do this to each other.
  8. by   researchrabbit
    All I know is that one person who talks others down tends to suck everybody else into that.

    Finally learned in my early 30s that some people just like to stir the you-know-what and that I could opt out of participating...so I do.

    I'll listen to someone vent about their home life, the higher-ups, life in general...but not a coworker.
  9. by   mario_ragucci
    Originally posted by askater11
    I don't care what people think about me. I guess that's my problem.
    I see me as other people see me, and thats my problem too. Our views are complimentary here :-)
  10. by   32yr_rn
    I have been a nurse for 30 years and this practice has gotten worse over the years. I often have to supervise the house at the hospital where I work and I am a nursing instructor. Nurses are very passive-aggressive people. We'd rather ***** and whine than deal with the problem assertively. I feel that you will set a good example and I hope the others begin to look at themselves more when they learn that not ALL nurses carry on this way. I have never worked in another profession, so I can only speak for nurses. Nurses are so transient now that strong relationships are rarely formed. Hang in there and hold on to your beliefs and don't let them drag you down with them. I am proud of you!!
  11. by   baseline
    I listen to my honey talk about the whiners and complainers at his place of employment......HE IS NOT A NURSE AND HE IS MOST DEFINETLY A MAN and this needs to stop being addressed as a nursing and female problem.

    I have worked in other arenas other than nursing. Some PEOPLE are whiners and backstabbers, and some aren't.
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    THANK YOU BASELINE! ITA!
  13. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Allright, enlighten me. What does "ITA" mean?

    <realizes that the minute she submits, it will probably come to her>

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