No time off for new dad!!

[NursingStudent5548]

I have posted on here numerous times over several different issues.... but I am in a hard spot and disgusted by this facility.

I am being induced on this Thursday due to a high risk pregnancy.

We were just informed today, so at work today my boyfriend (babies daddy) asked for unpaid leave for this Thursday and Friday. He was informed no, and was informed by HR he didn't qualify under the FMLA because he hadn't been working there for 12 months or worked a total of 1250 hours.

Well this is all very convienant considering about one CNA/direct patient care staff member meets these criteria on any given shift.

In fact he has become a senior employee and only been working there for 3 months. He has never been late or called in sick. Being honest here... he has been called into the person in charge of his unit office numerous times and everytime, she has a write slip already completed and never talked to him about it yet. She asks him to sign it and explains what it said.Being wiser than that he refuses to sign it until she has heard both sides. Well today he was called in for "throwing a plate down, and repeating what the resident said about the food" that was his "DRY" way of keeping it light and saying I know you busy and this sucks but this resident would like an alternate tray. Well this cook went to his boss exaagerated the throwing down of the plate and assumed that was his opinion of the food. He admitted to dropping the plate and explaining that he was trying to be humerous about it. For the (too many times to count) time she crumpled the write up up.

So two day of unpaid leave were denied for the birth of his child... We did everything we could to go about this honestly but it seems we might have to have a Dr. sign a note to excuse him from work due to some illness.

We both work with numerous (DR.s) who would willing to sign a note to something along those lines out of sympathy. Has anyone else ever heard of something similar occuring to someone else. OR HAVE ANY IDEA's OF OTHER HONEST WAYS OF dealing with this.

We HAVE

1. Been unsuccessful at finding replacements (most would be over time or coming out of a 9 day cycle with out a day off)

2. FMLA (don't qualify)

3.Applied to other facilities (pulled strings there should get a call back by next week for a position, good for the future but doesn't help our tight budget now or the fact that still won't get the time off)

If he calls in sick will get suspended (unless with doctors note can't be reprimanded)

[NursingStudent5548]

Okay to all the responses about us planning a small (BUT FORMAL) wedding...

I have been married once before for 2.5 years my ex deployed to Iraq came back with an young female soldier. He divorced me and less than 6 months later remarried her.

Our wedding was small on horse back outside of his bar, none of my family there....

BIG MISTAKE... I don't want to do that again (SO I guess I did it backwards and saved money on a marriage that was doomed)

This wedding will not be blessed or accepted by the catholic faith until I have converted to being a Catholic (takes a year) currently pursuing, will finish in MAY and my previous marriage is anulled by the catholic faith.

NOW TO THE REAL ISSUE-

He has been called into the office with write up already written for....

"Throwing a plate and calling the food SLOP" other staff members attested to this being a joke and stated he didn't throw the plate (only repeated what resident called it to lighten the mood outside of all resident view and earshot)

"Chasing Residents around the building in a wheel chair"

He was entertaining an aphasic/dysphasic resident by doing stunts in their chair in their room while they laughed and clapped. Again other staff members backed this story

"Yelling at another staff member for not caring for residents" He didn't yell but informed this staff member she didn't have a pager and her residents were complaining they were being ignored.

Staff member continued whole shift with out pager and then stated she forgot it to the boss. Finally once again other staff members shared his opinion and defended him.

It's odd these people come up with these stories yet nobody else witnessed to their side of the story

These are just a few of the example from this month... Never actually got wrote up once questioned by the boss but was hurt she had a write up complete before even ever talking to him!!

Now they stated they couldn't give him anytime off because they were already short-handed (ALWAYS SHORT-HANDED) never enough staff hired.

He has never been late, called in, missed a day, or recieved a write up.

The doctors note is not a lie, it is coming from my OB/GYN who is delivering the baby. It will state something along the lines that he was PRESENT FOR THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD.

We will be accepting the suspension (IF HE EVEN GETS SUSPENDED). We will also still call stating he won't be at work due to the birth of his child. We are doing everything we can to make it, as responsible, and convienant, and keeping his work place informed.

If they fire him... I have already set into motion with HR at my facility to get him hired within the next 2 weeks anyway.

[RNKPCE]

When he started his job 3 months ago he should have stated that his girlfriend was pregnant and knew he would need a couple days off around the birth. I know many people have plans, vacations, births when they start a new job and if the employee is open about needing the time off during the interview than the employer isn't caught by surprise and can decide to hire them or not base on the time off needed.

Are you being induced because you are late, can the inducement be a few days earlier or later when your boyfriend has a day off?

Your first marriage didn't fail because you got married on a horse outside a bar. Also it doesn't mean this won will succeed because you have a "formal wedding". If the "formal wedding" puts you in debt that will increase the stress in the new marriage, the baby also increases the stress.

[Cherybaby]

Okay to all the responses about us planning a small (BUT FORMAL) wedding...

I have been married once before for 2.5 years my ex deployed to Iraq came back with an young female soldier. He divorced me and less than 6 months later remarried her.

Our wedding was small on horse back outside of his bar, none of my family there....

BIG MISTAKE... I don't want to do that again (SO I guess I did it backwards and saved money on a marriage that was doomed)

This wedding will not be blessed or accepted by the catholic faith until I have converted to being a Catholic (takes a year) currently pursuing, will finish in MAY and my previous marriage is anulled by the catholic faith.

NOW TO THE REAL ISSUE-

He has been called into the office with write up already written for....

"Throwing a plate and calling the food SLOP" other staff members attested to this being a joke and stated he didn't throw the plate (only repeated what resident called it to lighten the mood outside of all resident view and earshot)

"Chasing Residents around the building in a wheel chair"

He was entertaining an aphasic/dysphasic resident by doing stunts in their chair in their room while they laughed and clapped. Again other staff members backed this story

"Yelling at another staff member for not caring for residents" He didn't yell but informed this staff member she didn't have a pager and her residents were complaining they were being ignored.

Staff member continued whole shift with out pager and then stated she forgot it to the boss. Finally once again other staff members shared his opinion and defended him.

It's odd these people come up with these stories yet nobody else witnessed to their side of the story

These are just a few of the example from this month... Never actually got wrote up once questioned by the boss but was hurt she had a write up complete before even ever talking to him!!

Now they stated they couldn't give him anytime off because they were already short-handed (ALWAYS SHORT-HANDED) never enough staff hired.

He has never been late, called in, missed a day, or recieved a write up.

The doctors note is not a lie, it is coming from my OB/GYN who is delivering the baby. It will state something along the lines that he was PRESENT FOR THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD.

We will be accepting the suspension (IF HE EVEN GETS SUSPENDED). We will also still call stating he won't be at work due to the birth of his child. We are doing everything we can to make it, as responsible, and convienant, and keeping his work place informed.

If they fire him... I have already set into motion with HR at my facility to get him hired within the next 2 weeks anyway.

Well, it seems you have answered all of your own questions. You said he has never been written up. In the next few sentences you show that he HAS been written up a number of times for infractions no matter how minor you may or may not have thought them to be. You certainly don't need to answer to anyone on this board (or anywhere else for that matter) about the type of wedding that you want to have. I think everyone was just pointing out that a formal wedding does not necessarily make for a good marriage. It puts you into a lot of debt for no reason...and with a new baby coming tomorrow, there are certainly better things to spend your money on.

But, just so you do know...you CAN be married in a civil ceremony and then, pursue your religious ceremony at a later date. As I posted earlier, my husband and I had a civil ceremony at our courthouse. However, for our tenth year anniversary, we had our "wedding" in a temple (we are jewish) and our union was blessed by a Rabbi. We had a little intimate party to celebrate. You don't have to wait to "become" catholic if you want to get married.

I think religion is more in the soul of the human being rather than on a piece of paper that tells you what you are. But, that's another story for another thread!

Anyway, it seems you and your boyfriend have it figured out as to how to handle this...and another job waiting in the wings should he be fired. No reason for you to continue stressing out any further!

Good luck tomorrow! Hope it is a very special day for you and your new little family! :wink2:

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

I also believe that you can make a small wedding intimate and meaningful because it is the hearts that count. My husband and I got married in Las Vegas 10 years ago and it was not a taudry affair, it was done at a nice chapel with just he and I. They took pictures and a video for us which we still cherish. As mentioned, creating a special day with all of the pomp and circumstance does not assure a stable, strong marriage. And, from a personal standpoint, denying yourselves of uniting in marriage if you really desire to do it and having a child does complicate things. Life with children becomes so unpredictable regarding expense, especially with the both of you being students.

I think that your mate should produce a note, experience the birth of your child and seek employment elsewhere for a fresh new start in life.