NJ child abuse case

SmilingBluEyes · Jan 12, 2003

I cannot express in any articulate manner that would not sound like babbling, the anger I feel at cases like this. I will never be able to, I am afraid.

Teshiee · Jan 12, 2003

That is a damn shame. It is really bad because the services that are suppose to protect children are so overwhelmed they can't possibly do their job, sounds familiar? It seems like in our society kids don't mean squat. Yet, it is unconstitutional for some of these lame mothers to get their damn tubes tied. I work in NICU and it boggles my mind when a woman who has many kids at home but insist on having more and they end up in NICU needing long term care because they are born small but she doesn't have a job or an education or sense to not get pregnant burdening the kids she already has!!!!!! Sometimes I feel the worse thing is a dumb woman with a uterus!!!!!!!!! My heart goes out to those innocent babies they didn't ask to come here if she didn't want them damn why she just give them away?! Some argue to whom? Foster care sucks you can forget having a sense of knowing your kid will be taken care of. Too many incidents of kids getting murdered because ignorance don't plan take precautions and know their limitations. In this new millienium forced sterilization should be placed on the damn ballot. just my 2 cents worth:(

Anagray, BSN · Jan 13, 2003

rncountry, I guess you are right about "damn if u do, damn if you don't". It was a noble gesture, I just wish most of it didn't go for the wrong purpose.

as far as where i'm from, I was born in moscow.

Teshiee, you have such a heartbreaking job. Thank god there are people like you who are able to work and care for these tiny babies who struggle through every day. I don't have the guts for it (yet). Keep up the good work.

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Jan 13, 2003

I live in NJ, and this has been the topic of discussion everywhere.

I have to say one thing, it ticks me off that McGreevy (the governor) can be so quick to criticize DYFS for not following up on cases. Let me tell you, I worked for a Medicaid HMO, and it was not uncommon for an expectant mom to just disappear. The company would try to entice these pregnant woman to have check-ups by having the doc sign a card at the appointment, and them they would get a free diaper bag, then a camaera, then a layette set. I worked in asthma disease management, and I got letters back all the time, forwarding address unknown. These woman move from place to place. Add to that the deplorable conditions a social worker faces in the field, drug addicts and prostitutes on every corner, who the hell would want that job, then add the enormous case loads, I have spoken w the MSW's at that HMO who made visits, one described a home where she thought the coffee table top was brown, then noticed it moved, it was covered...conmpletely covered, with roaches. How would McGreevy like to have that be his job all day??

So how does it get fixed?? How can any human being stay in that kind of job for any length of time, I imagine they get burned out and jaded quickly. I can't tell you how many times, children of abused parents were placed w the grandparets, only to be joined by the abusive mother when she was thrown out of her place for not paying rent or whatever. It is easy for the mother to disappear for a hald hour when/if DYFS makes a visit. You wouldn't believe how many people sign up for foster care who only want the money they get.

But how do we fix it? Criticizing and pointing out the problems is easy. Even if they had double the amt of MSW's, they wouldn't last long. Or, maybe, things would improve, if they did have enough people to properly monitor these poor children. Sadly, this is going to keep happening until an effective solution is worked on, rather than spending time on TV criticizong everyone else!!

BTW, that psychwitch woman, I heard, had moved from one home to another, and took the child's body with them to the new home. How sick!!! I hope she burns in hell!!

RNFROG3, BSN, RN · Jan 13, 2003

I'm marring one of those MSW's and he has told me some truly gut wrenching stories. Here I am an ER nurse who had thought she'd seen a lot but to here him... Between the laws, the $$$ and the lack of workers CPS & APS can't do it all. We as Americans need to keep our eyes open and help out where we can. Implement new laws and try to keep the $$ rolling to social services to help protect those who can't protect themselves. I would rather see the money go there then welfare. I guess being with him has changed me a bit since I was a staunch republican and originally wanted government out of all this things. Maybe its growing old but I'm becoming more liberal.

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Jan 13, 2003

Sounds like he is the yin to your yang RNFrog3!! (Or vice versa) It is hard not to get jaded in that kind of work. You thik the child will be unsafe if they go back, but the law says the parent must have another try. The child is killed by abuse, and you feel like dirt, helpless. I give all these MSW's out in the trenches my empathy and support.

P_RN, ADN, RN · Jan 13, 2003

I thought SC's infamous Susan Smith rolling her car with her children in it into a lake was the worst horror I could imagine.

Yesterday's paper had that the go-go dancer ("MOM" number 2) son admitted he had been fighting with the dead child. He knocked him out with a punch to the gut. When he died, the go-go and the son put his body in the container. Then there was a part of the story that said they MOVED carrying the container with them.....

When I first heard this horror story. I called my son and my daughter to let them know I love them......my babies are 32 and 34.

This brings tears whenever I think of those children. However could a monster do this? Why can't they abandon the children to a fire station, a hospital, a monistary, a WALMART? Anything is preferable...to this.

rncountry · Jan 13, 2003

Hoolahan, I agree with you completely. The only state I have ever lived in that handled foster care well, I think, was New Hampshire. Now it's been 20 years since I lived there(my how time flys) but the way they did things was foster parents did not recieve money for the kids they took in. They were given vouchers. Every so many months the foster parents would receive vouchers to buy so many pair of jeans, so many t-shirts, coats, shorts what have you, that was needed depending on the season. They were allowed so much per item, say $30 for a pair of jeans and so on. They also received monthly vouchers to purchase additional groceries and items such as laundry soap, body soap etc... these monthly vouchers were given based on the number of foster children a couple had. By doing this there was no way someone could take in foster kids, take the money and leave the kids in rags. Which I have certainly seen happen here in Michigan. Whether things are still done this way in New Hampshire I don't know, but I know when I lived there I thought this was a great idea. I believed it made the people who took in foster kids be the ones who really wanted to do it because they really wanted the children to start with.

Of course this was from the state that paid it's state legislators at time time, $200 a year, plus a milage when they had to come to the capital for state business. No one became a legislator to make money. I found when I lived there that people were intensely interested in politics and were much more involved with the process as well. They didn't just congrate in coffee houses and complain, they did something about it. The still held old fashioned town house meetings regularly. I wish I knew if that was the way things are still, because I was pretty impressed with it when I lived there.

imenid37 · Jan 14, 2003

people are just plain sick. a few years ago, a woman in md won the largest settlement ever against an ob-gyn in the state of maryland. she had a child who was severely brain damaged, it was alleged, from hypoxia/asphyxia during birth. the woman was having a very lush home built for herself in one of the baltimore suburbs and lived in an apartment complex while waiting for the palace to be completed. in the mean-time the child who was the subject of the lawsuit died. the death was ruled to be the result of natural causes. the woman and her other family members moved from the apartment when the new house was ready, but left the little child's dead body at the apartment. she couldn't "bear to part w/ him", so she never had a funeral or burial, but was o.k. to leave him at the apartment like an unwanted couch. i am not 100% sure, but i belive no charges were filed against this icon of motherhood, since she did not cause his death. how about the poor souls who were cleaning the apartment. imagine how they felt. there are some people who, imho, need to have their parenting and reproduction abilities permanantly terminated!