New nurses wanted. - page 6

I have just read a post in a Nursing Specialties forum on Staff Development that makes reference to the need to recognize and nurture new nurses because the nursing-eat-their-young attitude is so... Read More

  1. Visit  PatMac10,RN profile page
    0
    Quote from milfordmom
    GrnTea-I really don't think that some of the seasoned nurses correct new nurses because "they care about them". Have you ever heard of people putting other people down to lift themselves up? It's called low self esteem. I am the first person to say correct me when I'm wrong, I want to learn and do things the right way, and futhermore I actually do have a thick skin. I have not gotten this far without being tough and persistent. Do not confuse my demand for respect for being a baby, thinskinned or any other adjective you can think of. I can tell that this is a losing battle, all I am saying is that it DOES exist. I and many other new nurses have learned quite a bit from some seasoned nurses that actually have people skills, that know how to say in a middle of a crazy day " I'm really crazy busy right now and don't have alot of time to answer questions, so if you could wait until the end of shift I will be glad to answer some of your questions", instead of not even acknowledging that I just asked a question or better yet the ever present sneer of disgust. It's called communication skills ladies, you have to communicate with the families don't you- so it is possible to have a crazy day/week and still know how to talk to one another.
    Praise!
  2. Visit  workinmomRN2012 profile page
    0
    Quote from PatMac10,SN
    While I agree that correction should not always be viewed as a personal attack or act of malice, it would be futile to say that the correction, and the reception of it, can be heavily influenced by the way it is delivered.

    If someone is tactless in their critique, then, of course, it will more than likely cause more problems than it solves. Now am I saying you must "sugar coat" things, most certainly not, these are adults we're working with, but you can't deliver a message in any kind of manner and expect someone to be receptive. There is a way to say things directly and professionally while causing minimal offense. If

    Now some people can handle a more...... Abrupt approach than others.

    For example: take an experienced individual who may have a background in a strict family or military, when speaking or correcting a lesser experienced person who may have a similar background, they may be able to bring across points a certain way without causing offense.

    Rudeness or brevity is never a requirement for a point to stick. You don't have to be rude to get a point across. There is a difference between assertiveness and aggression.

    Training a less experienced one calls for respect, open-mindless, tact, and tolerance from both the learner and the teacher. Tolerance is a key because we are always going to be surrounded by people, whether we are the experienced individual or inexperienced one, who make us want to "reach out and touch them", but in most cases we can't do that without causing more problems.......and losing our jobs. Lol.

    Some people will take offense no matter what you say or how you say it.
    Well said!!!!
  3. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    2
    Very well said, PatMac.

    I agree that it is tiring to have to feel impeded or inconvenienced by the preceptor role.

    But it is equally tiring for an orientee to have to continually bear the projection of your discontent.
    lovelylady3 and workinmomRN2012 like this.
  4. Visit  SoldierNurse22 profile page
    3
    Quote from milfordmom
    It's called communication skills ladies
    And gentlemen?
    Altra, anotherone, and poppycat like this.
  5. Visit  anotherone profile page
    4
    so many get so defensive or whiny or feel disrespected at any correction or anyone pointing out their errors. even in a nice "just so you know" with a smile approach. i have seen it many times. which is why many nurses wont tell you, will gladly enjoy the arrival of the md to chew you out, the one who makes the hospital millions, and will let your manager know you are incompetent and the cno. or will just fill out incident reports or email the manager every error you do. meanwhile you have no clue what you are doing wrong . i dunno where some of you worked prior to nursing.... i am only in my mid 20s and have seen this in every job, every area of life, everywhere people are catty , "rude" etc.... maybe it is having grown up in a major northeast city ........
    poppycat, Esme12, Altra, and 1 other like this.
  6. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    12
    Quote from milfordmom
    GrnTea-I really don't think that some of the seasoned nurses correct new nurses because "they care about them". Have you ever heard of people putting other people down to lift themselves up? It's called low self esteem. I am the first person to say correct me when I'm wrong, I want to learn and do things the right way, and futhermore I actually do have a thick skin. I have not gotten this far without being tough and persistent. Do not confuse my demand for respect for being a baby, thinskinned or any other adjective you can think of. I can tell that this is a losing battle, all I am saying is that it DOES exist. I and many other new nurses have learned quite a bit from some seasoned nurses that actually have people skills, that know how to say in a middle of a crazy day " I'm really crazy busy right now and don't have alot of time to answer questions, so if you could wait until the end of shift I will be glad to answer some of your questions", instead of not even acknowledging that I just asked a question or better yet the ever present sneer of disgust. It's called communication skills ladies, you have to communicate with the families don't you- so it is possible to have a crazy day/week and still know how to talk to one another.

    That's not what I deplore and you know it. I always taught my children that making someone else feel small is no way to make yourself feel big. However, perpetual victimhood and offended-ness does no one any good either. A significant number of people will read "I'm crazy busy right now and I'll be able to answer you later" as "OMG, she thinks I am so insignificant that she won't even talk to me, it was just a simple question, I just wanted her help and she won't help me ... I am so disrespected here! They treat me like next to nothing! Nurses eat their young!! Waaaah!" And we're off.

    That is very tiring.

  7. Visit  workinmomRN2012 profile page
    3
    [QUOTE=GrnTea;7183995]
    That's not what I deplore and you know it. I always taught my children that making someone else feel small is no way to make yourself feel big. However, perpetual victimhood and offended-ness does no one any good either. A significant number of people will read "I'm crazy busy right now and I'll be able to answer you later" as "OMG, she thinks I am so insignificant that she won't even talk to me, it was just a simple question, I just wanted her help and she won't help me ... I am so disrespected here! They treat me like next to nothing! Nurses eat their young!! Waaaah!" And we're off.

    That is very tiring.

    [/QUOTE) All I can say is WOW! I guess you are a member of the crusty old bat society!
    nisteber, PatMac10,RN, and GrnTea like this.
  8. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    3
    Quote from milfordmom
    All I can say is WOW! I guess you are a member of the crusty old bat society!

    Good spot. What was your first clue?
    nursel56, SoldierNurse22, and poppycat like this.
  9. Visit  BrandonLPN profile page
    8
    It's been my experience that most nurses who paint themselves as constant victims are the authors of their own misfortune.

    Maybe they're trying to mask their own incompetence. Maybe they like to be the center of attention. Maybe they are chronically incapable of fitting in and expect an already established team to conform to *them*. Or maybe they're just overly sensitive and emotionally brittle.

    But ive personally never seen a floor where everyone "gangs up" on a newbie. I suppose this can happen, but I think it's mostly a myth. There are certain people that just like to portray themselves as the innocent ingenue surrounded by "old meanies". They go from job to job and unit to unit failing to see the pattern....
    Ruby Vee, SoldierNurse22, poppycat, and 5 others like this.
  10. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    6
    Quote from BrandonLPN
    It's been my experience that most nurses who paint themselves as constant victims are the authors of their own misfortune.
    I agree.

    I think this also goes for those who paint themselves as victimized by the preceptor role.
  11. Visit  joanna73 profile page
    3
    I'm a recent grad (less than 3 years) and I had various interactions with nurse preceptors, instructors, and managers during my four year schooling and employment. Most nurses are more than willing to help if the mentee displays initiative. The whole "nurses eating their young" is mostly myth. The fact is, most people aren't going to sugar coat everything. Why? We're in the business of saving lives. Maybe after some of you gain some life experience, you will understand. Overall, your perspective changes at 30, 40, 50...and beyond. I don't know, my nursing experience has been pretty great as far as preceptors and co-workers. But then, I'm 40, not 20.....so probably just as crusty as they are.
    poppycat, Altra, and GrnTea like this.
  12. Visit  nurseladybug12 profile page
    2
    I think that is pure ignorance to say that "nurses eating their young is a myth" because it is one of the most highly researched areas of nursing! and it is a very prevalent and very real problem, just because you may not have experienced it first hand doesnt mean you can write it off as not existing. I have had some experienced nurses chomping at the bit to belittle me while im giving report, they are ready to pounce on any little thing they can, asking so many detailed questions to trip me up, that you would have to look back at the emr , and heaven forbid I didnt write down what time their last pain med was given! It takes 2 seconds to look it up in the computer, and they act like it is the end of the world and I am a terrible nurse for not having written that down for them. Ive had nurses roll their eyes at me, laugh in my face, gaff-aw at me. It is meant to put down people and that is "eating your young" and the sad part is, many nurses that bully do not realize they are doing and that is part of the problem. I have also heard other new nurses giving report to the same seasoned nurses who were extra nit-picky with me, and they behaved the same way, so I know not to take it personally but I think some seasoned nurses should calm down and stop trying to jump down the throats of the newbies as to try to embarass them and make them appear incompetent! This is not school, you are not supposed to behave like the professor from hell. That is just unprofessional.
    lovelylady3 and workinmomRN2012 like this.
  13. Visit  nurseladybug12 profile page
    3
    P.S. I also recently read in the NY Times that over 60 percent of new grads leave their first nursing job in less than 6 months because they were bullied by nurses they worked with. So "nurses eating their young" is real to all those new grads.

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