Name that part. Words patients use for their own anatomy. - page 14

Ever searched in a patients' room for what you thought she said she needed to "watch her pocketbook" , she staring at you and you staring at her. Then finally saying, mam what color is your... Read More

  1. by   melrina75
    [font="verdana"]had a young ob pt who wondered if her baby was going to come out of her "butt in the front" :roll, since that is where her boyfriend had put his "winkie"!! i had to step out of the room to avoid laughing in front of her!!
  2. by   Dragonfly_GirlSWVA
    A Elderly Male patient of mine, who was convinced that he was not hard of hearing it was the rest of the populated world who had the softest voices ever known.
    One morning, he " whispered" (yelled) to me and staff." Today, I am not wearing my drawers (southern word for pants or underwear) so my hang me downs can breathe and get some air"
    ( Did I miss the memo....... they can breathe now?)
    Last edit by Dragonfly_GirlSWVA on May 1, '06
  3. by   Starphoenix
    This is hysterical!

    I'm not a nurse, or even a pre-nurse (yet), but I have to throw in here.

    My father-in-law refers to the "how d'ya call it" when speaking of the penis.

    One of my husband's colorful phrases is Heat Seeking Moisture Missile!
  4. by   HM2VikingRN
    Quote from PBAJS
    When assisting a female in the shower, she said that I could wash her back, she would take care of her 'bush'.

    Have heard penis called a 'ding-dong' and 'ding-a-ling'.

    Reminds me of that old song "Won't you play with my ding-a-ling"
    http://www.lyricsdepot.com/chuck-ber...ng-a-ling.html:Melody: :roll
  5. by   PDX RN
    I had a patient who asked me
    "Does the size of your prostate have anything to do with the size of your wang dang?"

    He had an enlarged prostate.

  6. by   Runningnurse
    Not from a patient, but we have a CNA who...bless her...isn't very swift. She does her job and is sweet as can be, but...you get the idea.

    One of our patients had cervical cancer, with quite a lot of pain in that general area. On the flowsheet where the CNA was charting pain score/location/quality/associated symptoms, she charted that the woman had pain 6/10 in her fojimer. No lie. Fojimer.
  7. by   fotografe
    Fojimer?

    Quote from Runningnurse
    Not from a patient, but we have a CNA who...bless her...isn't very swift. She does her job and is sweet as can be, but...you get the idea.

    One of our patients had cervical cancer, with quite a lot of pain in that general area. On the flowsheet where the CNA was charting pain score/location/quality/associated symptoms, she charted that the woman had pain 6/10 in her fojimer. No lie. Fojimer.
  8. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from fotografe
    Fojimer?
    No, no honey. Say it like this:

    fo-JI-mer

    --long "i" sound.

    Then say it fast a few times.

    Last edit by UM Review RN on Jun 21, '06
  9. by   fotografe
    lol

    Quote from Angie O'Plasty, RN
    No, no honey. Say it like this:

    fo-JI-mer

    --long "i" sound.

    Then say it fast a few times.

  10. by   overlyrn
    I recently took care of an elderly gentleman who was fixated on his genitalia, he talked a great deal about his "John Henry". Later that day, we had an ER nurse bring us a pt and after giving report, asked if he could get someone's "John Henry" on the form. The poor nurse had no idea why we all doubled over laughing....
  11. by   BabyRN2Be
    I've heard some ladies refer to their breasts as "the girls" or "my girls" as in, "I need to wash my girls."
  12. by   ChevRN
    I know someone who refers to his wife's vagina as her "teddy bear"!
  13. by   JohnBearPA
    Quote from nurselily3
    I have gotten such a laugh out of this thread!!!! So, I thought I would add a little to the pot.

    I had a patient once, older lady, who called her genitalia her "kitty kat". I was helping her bathe and she said "Can't forget to wash the kitty kat"......oh my.

    Many years ago, in a personal care home, I had a lady that called it the same thing. However, with an advanced state of dimentia, she was constantly going around asking if people wanted to see and pet her "kitty kat". Thankfully, most refused. Staff thought perhaps she was fond of felines, and we all bought her stuffed cats, t-shirts with cats on them, etc, since she had no living family to visit her or befriend her.

    Imagine my surprise when at a party where staff, their guests, family members of residents, and a few community officials were in attendance, she proceeded to ask this question of the mayor of this small town, and when he (not knowing she didn't own a cat) said "sure, where is the little kitty", she proceeded to drop her pants and show him, spreading her rather large vulva for all to see! I've never seen so many red faces in one room at the same time before or since. Also, it got totally silent, until the resident began hysterically laughing, and pulled her pants back up, saying "i gotcha'" to all in attendance. Seems the old bird had a momentary period of semi-lucidity, thought the mayor was a hottie, and laughed about the joke she played on him!

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