My kids are sending me to the psyc. ward - page 3

THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! (sorry.. having one of those days) maybe because my hubby is gone (week #1 out of 5 mos). maybe because they are only 2 and 5 yrs old. maybe because Im too... Read More

  1. by   nurse-in-boots
    Thank you guys soooo much for the words of encouragement. I was starting to think that mine were the only ones that acted like that. I have calmed down, and am ready to start another round tonight. Dad is in the army too, and is away for 5 more months. I think the girls know that dad is gone, so they are testing their limits with me. I plan on letting them know that my limits shouldnt be tested. I have maintained my cool, and will not let them see me sweat.
  2. by   Scavenger'sWife
    Dontcha jus' love it....

    Believe me, there will be a time when you will remember your kids at this age and will wish for the days again...

    Mine are 25 and almost 23. I would love to have them at 3 and 5 again... But you have received some great advice. Especially the one that suggested what I used to do: Order the food but when they act up too much for the old nerves to handle, doggie-bag what you have left and go home. Try again when you have the courage. Only by repeating and repeating the adventures will they learn how to behave. Stick to places that are "kid-friendly" for now, like McDonald's or Pizza Hut, etc. Your children are still so very young. They need a lot more time and plenty of patience to develop those public skills. You are brave and doing the right thing in taking them out! They do not learn social skills by staying home until they are 18! :chuckle

    Blessings to you & family at this time with Hubby in the service.

    Try to find some "alone time" and/or "time with the girls" to keep your tolerance level with the kids in check.

    Love the little devils and before you know it, they will be mature kids that everyone says, " Your kids are sooooo well-behaved!"

    (It does happen! That is what happened to me!)
  3. by   debRNo1
    Originally posted by regnursein99
    Believe me, there will be a time when you will remember your kids at this age and will wish for the days again...
    I remember those days of me acting like a lunatic and threatening to never go out in public with them again.

    Mine are 19 and 13 now and I long for us to have some "family time" together even if they fought the entire time.

    "She" at 19 is too busy with "her" life (boyfriend) and new found freedom (a CAR!) and "he" at 13 is embarrased to go anywhere with me but he will go out with dad.

    Its kinda sad and I do miss it !!??

    Enjoy them NOW they will be grown before you know it.

    deb
  4. by   passing thru
    I will play the "devil's advocate" here and put myself in the place of the adults who endured the shenanigans.
    My opinion is, if your kids are too young or too __________, to behave in restaurants, order your food to go/ or JUST LEAVE !
    If your kids screech, cry, yell, ...leave ! Have some respect for the diners who were looking forward to a nice salad and pizza dinner...after a hard day at work. Maybe they splurged their "eating out " money for the whole month on this one pizza meal, and what do they get??

    It's my pet peeve...parents looking frustrated and embarrassed and helpless while their kids scream and cry, run all over the place, and ruin the other
    peoples dining experience. Simply pick them up and go home !

    As one mom said to me, ""But, I hate to have to take the pizza home; they make such a mess, and THEN I'LL HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP !!""

    For the 4 year old who screeches eardrum-rupturing decibels in the grocery store or mall...................it isn't cute.
    And it's curable. One good smack across the cheek cures
    that little attention grabber.

    I know. I raised four and did not tolerate screeching in public places. Your four year old is pulling that act at home too. Re: the mall....a 4 year old can remember what she did and can be punished later at home.
    It's not that difficult to put a scrreeching halt to it....if you want to.

    It relative. My neighbor has one eight year old, 2 six year olds, 2 four year olds, and 2 two year olds. Yep, one single birth and 3 consecutive sets of twins. Her husband died of a malignant brain tumor about 6 months ago. No screeching or acting out in public with this bunch, no attention-grabbing behaviors.
  5. by   lucianne
    I'd much rather listen to a 4 year old's ear shattering shrieks in a grocery store than see her mother smack her across the face.

    There are many ways to control children's behavior including leaving a situation when necessary and make sure you don't set yourself up for problems by shopping when your child is tired or hungry. However, there are times and situations where parents can't always do what is best. Sometimes there's no one to leave the child with or the shopping must be done during the child's usual nap time because mom has to go to work. Maybe the child is autistic and something has agitated them. Instead of being judgemental, I try to help the mom by distracting the child or letting mom ahead of me in line.

    luci
  6. by   nurse-in-boots
    This morning... whole new story....

    I drop my 5 yr old off at school, get home, and start to clean up the breakfast mess. I THOUGHT my 2 yr old was sitting quietly in her room, watching Dora. Was she? NOOOOO! Shes sitting quietly in her room with a tube of my lipstick. (burgendy colored).

    So, does anyone know how to get red lipstick off of my white walls? (p.s., it dont come off so easily from her legs, arms, face, etc. )
  7. by   betts
    You'll need to know:
    pack lightly
    learn the Thorazine Shuffle
    train brain to NOT say Nite-All but rather Haldol

    I believed that the Terrible Two's doubled to Four's and tripled to Sixes; my front&rear door were the entrances to my private Psych Clinic!
  8. by   ohbet
    Coincidentally I too have a 2,almost three yo,and a 5 yo.,however my SO is here.
    I do take them out to eat w/o my significant other, and they misbehave, if you have a 5 yo boy you can expect more misbehavior,not cause boys are evil but cause they have less impulse control at this age.
    In your case they may be acting out more cause Dad is not there...but whatever the case may be when mine mis behave I threatened them by promising to take away an IMMEDIATE enjoyment,like desert or TV after dinner.When i first started this it didnt work because they had never seen me follow thru with the threat but when I did follow thru they knew I was serious and they usually listen up. So much for Positive Discipline but this usually works. However when you take away the enjoyment you can expect a further melt down,in that case put them in there room and then pray they kill each other.
  9. by   Spidey's mom
    I remember walking in a mall when I was preggers with my first child, when I accidently bumped into a two year old girl, knocking her to the ground. It was my fault and I apologized while putting my hand out to help her up. Her mother proceeded to slap her across the face, yelling at her and blaming her for getting in MY way. I was appalled. I decided then and there that slapping across the face was completely disrespectful (and a place prone to injury anyway). Now, I'm not against a swat on the tush for a child who is saying, in effect, "up yours mom - I ain't gonna do it!!". But slapping is wrong.

    I agree with the advice of other posters . . consider the age and abilities of your children. Avoid situations where you know they will get tired and act up. Get take out food and go to a park and let your kids run and play. You are essentially a single parent for awhile . . don't put yourself in situations where you know you will be stressed. And don't listen to the "my kids were perfect angels" parents . . . . they are just gonna produce guilt which will make your life more stressful. Can you enlist some help from your church or synagogue members? Or family?

    Be firm, consistent and don't let your kids disrespect you. If you fall apart, your kids will know they can run right over you. They actually want rules . . . . there was a study done in the 1970's . . . a school took down a fence that surrounded a playground at an elementary school. Before the fence was down, the kids would play all over the playground right up to the fence line. Afterwards, the kids huddled in the middle not feeling safe enough to venture out. Like when we drive . . if that little yellow or white line is gone from the middle of the road, we feel unsafe. Even though it is just a line not a real wall between the oncoming traffic.

    Best wishes
  10. by   Mint Julip
    Smack her across the face, passing thru??!! I would NEVER abuse my children's trust by slapping them across the face, let alone in public. I don't use hitting as a method to solve behavioral problems. I reason with them and if that fails I take away their privileges. No computer, phone privileges, cartoons, video games or friends over to the house. Uh huh, that works for me.

    My daughter is certainly old enough to understand that her actions have consequences. She doesn't always act out in public, but when she does I pack up and go home if possible. As Lucianne has said there are times when that is just not feasible. I'm sorry, but children are children and yes they will behave badly at times.

    If you are suggesting that I let my daughter screech to her heart's content or I don't respond to her behavior you are mistaken. I deal with it in a manner that I feel is appropriate and I don't give a rat's behind what other people think about it. These are my children not theirs.

    nurse-in-boots:
    Do you have any baby wipes on hand? They are pretty good with removing lipstick from the walls. If that doesn't work Goo Gone will remove it.
  11. by   Liann
    Things I learned from my kids toddler years:

    Stock up on Resolve carpet cleaner
    Goo Gone for sticky , greasy, lipstick stuff
    Spray n Wash or Shout for laundry- rubbed in with old toothbrush
    White vinegar and /or club soda for general stain removal
    And good old Chlorine bleach for any surface that can stand the stuff!!
  12. by   Liann
    Oh and I forgot to mention that gentle scrubbing with toothpaste on a washcloth will get the lipstick off the kids skin. Works well for Kool aid moustache too!!
  13. by   Y2KRN
    Hello,

    Can empathize with and feel your pain!!!!!!! Husband was a sub-mariner for first 5 yrs of our marriage. Six month madatory deployments, and travel overseas while on shore duty. I was in nursing shcool when he went to England for three weeks. My daughter was three months old, my son 2 and a half. I was never closer to losing my mind as I was then.

    He felt the stress all the way to England and actually had a dream that I was going to divorce him. My daughter had gotten sick the second week and I had no family around me to help watch her. I had to miss clinicals it was hard.

    I can tell you though from experience it does get better, just hang in there you are not alone!!!

    y2krn

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