My kids are sending me to the psyc. ward

CountrifiedRN · Apr 29, 2003

Originally posted by nurse-in-boots
Please give the the dream that I will once again, one day, get to sit down for a nice dinner in public, and actually enjoy myself. (p.s. will I have to wait untill they are 18 and OUT OF MY HOUSE?)

Unfortunately, you pegged it in your p.s.! The only time I have a peaceful dinner is when my in-laws visit and I get to go out on an adult night!

Oh, I feel for you! I've been there with my two oldest, and now have a three year old. My oldest are three years apart and when they were little their dad was in the military and gone most of the time. The only place I found I could take them without eliciting stares, anger, or pity was Chuck E. Cheese, because everyone else was screaming at their kids to sit down and eat too. We fit right in, and with a few tylenol for me, we would have a decent time, until it was time to leave. Then I joined the other ranks of parents trying to drag their screaming children out the door.

As RRMLPN said, as they get older you exchange one set of problems for another. Mine are now 16 and 13, and still fight over who gets to sit where in the car. My three year old is a terror and the older two just encourage the behavior.

While I was visiting my mom I went to a grocery store with just the three year old (he was 2 then). The store had these cute little kid size baskets so I let him take one to wheel around instead of strapping him into the seat of the one I was driving. WARNING: NEVER let a 2 year old have the kiddy carts in the store!

I was soon chasing him through the aisles, trying to keep up with putting the items that he was dumping into his cart back on the shelves, and keep him from running down other shoppers. I abandoned my cart and decided on just the minimum that I needed, and used his cart, which he was happy with. He didn't want to leave. He wouldn't get on line to pay. He just wanted to continue to roam the aisles and throw stuff into his cart. So here I am, trying to carry a screaming, fighting 2 y/o while at the same time trying to manuever this little bitty cart to the check out. I had to walk hunched over because I am 5'8'' and the darn cart was probably less than 3 feet tall. If I didn't really need the stuff I had in the cart, I would have just left in humiliation. I didn't think I would ever get out of that store! I'm sure everyone cheered when I finally left!

So, don't worry, even though it's very stressful, you will be able to look back on this and laugh! And if we're really lucky, they will have children who are JUST LIKE THEM, and then we can laugh while they tell us about how they misbehave. The ultimate payback! BWAAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!

Any room left in that padded cell?

CountrifiedRN · Apr 29, 2003

Originally posted by nurse-in-boots
Please give the the dream that I will once again, one day, get to sit down for a nice dinner in public, and actually enjoy myself. (p.s. will I have to wait untill they are 18 and OUT OF MY HOUSE?)

Unfortunately, you pegged it in your p.s.! The only time I have a peaceful dinner is when my in-laws visit and I get to go out on an adult night!

Oh, I feel for you! I've been there with my two oldest, and now have a three year old. My oldest are three years apart and when they were little their dad was in the military and gone most of the time. The only place I found I could take them without eliciting stares, anger, or pity was Chuck E. Cheese, because everyone else was screaming at their kids to sit down and eat too. We fit right in, and with a few tylenol for me, we would have a decent time, until it was time to leave. Then I joined the other ranks of parents trying to drag their screaming children out the door.

As RRMLPN said, as they get older you exchange one set of problems for another. Mine are now 16 and 13, and still fight over who gets to sit where in the car. My three year old is a terror and the older two just encourage the behavior.

While I was visiting my mom I went to a grocery store with just the three year old (he was 2 then). The store had these cute little kid size baskets so I let him take one to wheel around instead of strapping him into the seat of the one I was driving. WARNING: NEVER let a 2 year old have the kiddy carts in the store!

I was soon chasing him through the aisles, trying to keep up with putting the items that he was dumping into his cart back on the shelves, and keep him from running down other shoppers. I abandoned my cart and decided on just the minimum that I needed, and used his cart, which he was happy with. He didn't want to leave. He wouldn't get on line to pay. He just wanted to continue to roam the aisles and throw stuff into his cart. So here I am, trying to carry a screaming, fighting 2 y/o while at the same time trying to manuever this little bitty cart to the check out. I had to walk hunched over because I am 5'8'' and the darn cart was probably less than 3 feet tall. If I didn't really need the stuff I had in the cart, I would have just left in humiliation. I didn't think I would ever get out of that store! I'm sure everyone cheered when I finally left!

So, don't worry, even though it's very stressful, you will be able to look back on this and laugh! And if we're really lucky, they will have children who are JUST LIKE THEM, and then we can laugh while they tell us about how they misbehave. The ultimate payback! BWAAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!

Any room left in that padded cell?

Nursie30 · Apr 29, 2003

Oh girl, don't I know what your going through.....................

Mine are 2 mos old, 2 yrs old 12 yrs old (going on 18)

My husband and I work different shifts, I work days, he works evenings, and on the weekends he works days..........I neeevvvvveeerrrrr get a break................My 2 yr old got out of the house when I was changing the baby, and we looked all over for him, I called the police, THANK GOD they had picked him up...and he was unharmed (we live in a small town) but he was walking down the middle of the road, the cop said........I was scared to death........5 mins after he is back home, a train goes by, we live a block away, I just started crying thinking about what could have happened, so now everytime I turn around I'm thinking he's run off..........we put locks on the doors way up high, but my12 yr old, goes outside and his friends are in and out and forgt to lock the doors............the baby is a good baby, but she is demanding, and I'm thinking I'm just tooo old for all this............I feel guilty for feeling like I can't handle it all, afraid something will happen to one of them if I think like that:rolleyes: but, yes dear I know how you feel.................

Nursie30 · Apr 29, 2003

Oh girl, don't I know what your going through.....................

Mine are 2 mos old, 2 yrs old 12 yrs old (going on 18)

My husband and I work different shifts, I work days, he works evenings, and on the weekends he works days..........I neeevvvvveeerrrrr get a break................My 2 yr old got out of the house when I was changing the baby, and we looked all over for him, I called the police, THANK GOD they had picked him up...and he was unharmed (we live in a small town) but he was walking down the middle of the road, the cop said........I was scared to death........5 mins after he is back home, a train goes by, we live a block away, I just started crying thinking about what could have happened, so now everytime I turn around I'm thinking he's run off..........we put locks on the doors way up high, but my12 yr old, goes outside and his friends are in and out and forgt to lock the doors............the baby is a good baby, but she is demanding, and I'm thinking I'm just tooo old for all this............I feel guilty for feeling like I can't handle it all, afraid something will happen to one of them if I think like that:rolleyes: but, yes dear I know how you feel.................

lucianne · Apr 29, 2003

Sounds like you're all feeling stressed out about having dad gone. A place with games was probably too stimulating--most kids would rather play than eat. Maybe a quieter and more predictable schedule might help even things out. Make the pizza delivery guy your new best friend. Remember that you are all feeling the stress--in fact the kids are feeling theirs and yours too, so they are bound to act out.

Unfortunately, your 2 year old is just doing what 2 year olds are supposed to do. We took our kids out to eat in nice restaurants from the time they were infants and generally never had any problems with them (but we made sure we ate early in the evening & brought light snacks & quiet toys to keep them occupied) but there were a few months when the youngest was 2 that we stuck with family-friendly places.

Good luck managing on your own. I hope you have some family or friends who can help you out. Tell them if they don't give you some time to yourself every week you're going to check yourself in to a psych hospital and they'll have your kids full time!

luci

P.S. RN2B: I think 2 year olds should only be dressed in overalls--so you can pick them up by the straps like a duffle bag. I did that more times than I could count.

Nursie30, if you can't get the older kids to be more careful, why don't you put alarms on your doors so you'll know whenever someone goes out?

lucianne · Apr 29, 2003

Sounds like you're all feeling stressed out about having dad gone. A place with games was probably too stimulating--most kids would rather play than eat. Maybe a quieter and more predictable schedule might help even things out. Make the pizza delivery guy your new best friend. Remember that you are all feeling the stress--in fact the kids are feeling theirs and yours too, so they are bound to act out.

Unfortunately, your 2 year old is just doing what 2 year olds are supposed to do. We took our kids out to eat in nice restaurants from the time they were infants and generally never had any problems with them (but we made sure we ate early in the evening & brought light snacks & quiet toys to keep them occupied) but there were a few months when the youngest was 2 that we stuck with family-friendly places.

Good luck managing on your own. I hope you have some family or friends who can help you out. Tell them if they don't give you some time to yourself every week you're going to check yourself in to a psych hospital and they'll have your kids full time!

luci

P.S. RN2B: I think 2 year olds should only be dressed in overalls--so you can pick them up by the straps like a duffle bag. I did that more times than I could count.

Nursie30, if you can't get the older kids to be more careful, why don't you put alarms on your doors so you'll know whenever someone goes out?

nurse2002 · Apr 29, 2003

Originally posted by nurse-in-boots
THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! (sorry.. having one of those days)

maybe because my hubby is gone (week #1 out of 5 mos).

maybe because they are only 2 and 5 yrs old.

maybe because Im too scared to beat the tar out of them in public

Tell ya what, I came close to tonight... Took my two "angels" out for pizza for dinner. As soon as the door opened to go inside, they take off running inside. Running toward the video games, I calmly tell them "no, lets wait untill after we eat". The 2 yr old is already sitting at the race car game, when my 5 yr old SHOVES her out of the seat. Both are screaming bloody murder. I swear everyone at Pizza Inn stopped and stared...

Then... I get a table, wrangled the angels up... and attempt to put the 2 yr old in a high chair. She starts screaming AGAIN! Legs spread wide open, flairing around. Refuses to sit in the chair. She wants to sit in the real chair. No big deal youd think, but she wont sit there either. She constantly gets up and runs around. Hence the need to STRAP HER DOWN.

She still refuses, so I give in (tired of making a scene). She takes one bite of pizza, and starts running around the table in circles. Im PLEADING with her to please sit and eat. MORE SCREAMING!

UGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! My 5 yr old just sits there and laughs. I felt like crying. Completley lost my appitite, start nagging the 5 yr old to hurry and eat so we can leave. I am completely embarrased by now. Felt like crawling under the table. Complete strangers were patting me on the back as they left. Telling me Im a trooper... blah blah blah.

Now that we are home... My 2 yr old sneakes the whole 1/2 gallon of ice cream into her room and is eating it/smearing on the carpet.

I NEED A VACATION FROM THE KIDS ALREADY. ONLY BEEN 1 WEEK WITHOUT HELP FROM HUBBY.... ONLY 2 MORE MONTHS TO GO. I swear as you all as my witnesses that I will NEVER take these children out to eat again.

Please tell me Im not alone. Please give me hope that most kids are like this. Please give the the dream that I will once again, one day, get to sit down for a nice dinner in public, and actually enjoy myself. (p.s. will I have to wait untill they are 18 and OUT OF MY HOUSE?)

Im sending the kids to bed and having a beer. Thank you for letting me vent.

Lovely lady...you are far from alone!

I was talking to some colleages(also friends) a few days ago and one of them asked us if we have ever actually thought about packing our bags and leaving the family. We ALL said yes. Of course we would never do it, just a fleeting thought when things get real crazy.

The best thing to do is set aside some time for yourself> You do that! Get a sitter or take the kids to a "mothers day out" program. Most places have them for sometiomes a day every week to one day once a months for maybe a few hours at time. Please di this! Your sanity might depend on it. Girl, go have that nice lunch! Have somebody wait on YOU! YOU are worth it! YOU deserve it!

It's a hard job we have as mother's and wives. And single mothers and Fathers. Harder than our jobs as nurses will ever be.

That is an ORDER from this mother to you, a mother!

Hugs and hugs!!!!!!!

nurse2002 · Apr 29, 2003

Originally posted by nurse-in-boots
THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! (sorry.. having one of those days)

maybe because my hubby is gone (week #1 out of 5 mos).

maybe because they are only 2 and 5 yrs old.

maybe because Im too scared to beat the tar out of them in public

Tell ya what, I came close to tonight... Took my two "angels" out for pizza for dinner. As soon as the door opened to go inside, they take off running inside. Running toward the video games, I calmly tell them "no, lets wait untill after we eat". The 2 yr old is already sitting at the race car game, when my 5 yr old SHOVES her out of the seat. Both are screaming bloody murder. I swear everyone at Pizza Inn stopped and stared...

Then... I get a table, wrangled the angels up... and attempt to put the 2 yr old in a high chair. She starts screaming AGAIN! Legs spread wide open, flairing around. Refuses to sit in the chair. She wants to sit in the real chair. No big deal youd think, but she wont sit there either. She constantly gets up and runs around. Hence the need to STRAP HER DOWN.

She still refuses, so I give in (tired of making a scene). She takes one bite of pizza, and starts running around the table in circles. Im PLEADING with her to please sit and eat. MORE SCREAMING!

UGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! My 5 yr old just sits there and laughs. I felt like crying. Completley lost my appitite, start nagging the 5 yr old to hurry and eat so we can leave. I am completely embarrased by now. Felt like crawling under the table. Complete strangers were patting me on the back as they left. Telling me Im a trooper... blah blah blah.

Now that we are home... My 2 yr old sneakes the whole 1/2 gallon of ice cream into her room and is eating it/smearing on the carpet.

I NEED A VACATION FROM THE KIDS ALREADY. ONLY BEEN 1 WEEK WITHOUT HELP FROM HUBBY.... ONLY 2 MORE MONTHS TO GO. I swear as you all as my witnesses that I will NEVER take these children out to eat again.

Please tell me Im not alone. Please give me hope that most kids are like this. Please give the the dream that I will once again, one day, get to sit down for a nice dinner in public, and actually enjoy myself. (p.s. will I have to wait untill they are 18 and OUT OF MY HOUSE?)

Im sending the kids to bed and having a beer. Thank you for letting me vent.

Lovely lady...you are far from alone!

I was talking to some colleages(also friends) a few days ago and one of them asked us if we have ever actually thought about packing our bags and leaving the family. We ALL said yes. Of course we would never do it, just a fleeting thought when things get real crazy.

The best thing to do is set aside some time for yourself> You do that! Get a sitter or take the kids to a "mothers day out" program. Most places have them for sometiomes a day every week to one day once a months for maybe a few hours at time. Please di this! Your sanity might depend on it. Girl, go have that nice lunch! Have somebody wait on YOU! YOU are worth it! YOU deserve it!

It's a hard job we have as mother's and wives. And single mothers and Fathers. Harder than our jobs as nurses will ever be.

That is an ORDER from this mother to you, a mother!

Hugs and hugs!!!!!!!

kimtab · Apr 29, 2003

Hang in there! I am a Single mom of a 2 year old and I thank God every day that he isn't twins. I have definitely made that "you are never going out in public again" vow before! And indeed....I don't go many places with him, it's just easier. They are little heathens, they couldn't behave even if they felt like it at that age. Order in the pizza next time and enjoy your beer anyway:)

kimtab · Apr 29, 2003

Hang in there! I am a Single mom of a 2 year old and I thank God every day that he isn't twins. I have definitely made that "you are never going out in public again" vow before! And indeed....I don't go many places with him, it's just easier. They are little heathens, they couldn't behave even if they felt like it at that age. Order in the pizza next time and enjoy your beer anyway:)

susanmary · Apr 29, 2003

Hang in there ... you are not alone ... and your kids are perfectly normal. I am concerned that your kids run away from you in public places -- you really need to set limits on this. We've all been where you are. Don't try to overexplain things to your kids -- they are probably very smart. Tell them that the next time they misbehave, run away from you, etc. -- in a restaurant, etc. -- that you will take them home immediately. Start doing this when you know you are going to a place they love. When they start running, that's it -- pack them up -- no matter how much screaming/kicking/tantrums they have. My favorite quote is "too bad" -- simple, to the point, and my kids knew that things weren't negotiable at that point.

Other options -- can always preorder the pizza for when you get there. Stick with places like McDonalds -- they can play in the playground once they eat a reasonable amount of their meal. Breakfast buffets where everything is ready when you get there.

You're a student nurse, have a toddler & preschooler, and your husband is away for an extended time. Do you have any support -- family/friends who can sit for your kids so that you can enjoy an occasional pizza with a friend? You do need some time for YOU -- and try to squeeze in some QUALITY time for yourself ... it will help your stress levels a great deal.

The great thing about eating out with young kids is that it helps you prepare for eating meals as a nurse -- quick & on the run.

Hang in there. Enjoy those babies.

susanmary · Apr 29, 2003

Hang in there ... you are not alone ... and your kids are perfectly normal. I am concerned that your kids run away from you in public places -- you really need to set limits on this. We've all been where you are. Don't try to overexplain things to your kids -- they are probably very smart. Tell them that the next time they misbehave, run away from you, etc. -- in a restaurant, etc. -- that you will take them home immediately. Start doing this when you know you are going to a place they love. When they start running, that's it -- pack them up -- no matter how much screaming/kicking/tantrums they have. My favorite quote is "too bad" -- simple, to the point, and my kids knew that things weren't negotiable at that point.

Other options -- can always preorder the pizza for when you get there. Stick with places like McDonalds -- they can play in the playground once they eat a reasonable amount of their meal. Breakfast buffets where everything is ready when you get there.

You're a student nurse, have a toddler & preschooler, and your husband is away for an extended time. Do you have any support -- family/friends who can sit for your kids so that you can enjoy an occasional pizza with a friend? You do need some time for YOU -- and try to squeeze in some QUALITY time for yourself ... it will help your stress levels a great deal.

The great thing about eating out with young kids is that it helps you prepare for eating meals as a nurse -- quick & on the run.

Hang in there. Enjoy those babies.