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Hi everybody,
I have a question and PLEASE dont anybody blast me for typecasting, this was not MY statement, it was a LCSW I was friends with. She claims that a huge % of nurses are first born females of alcoholic fathers. Something to do with the fact that as the first born in dysfunction family of origin you are a caregiver from the get-go. Now my father was not an alcoholic, but I am a first born. I was wondering how many of us are first-borns. (Also, she said this to me a long time ago, and I have lost touch with her, so I cannot ask her where the heck she got her information was) I was just starting school at the time and didnt really fight with her about it, just kind of gave her one of the Hmmm, thats an interesting opinion.... answers. Also, she meant it as a compliment, that we take a difficult beginning and build on our strengths and turn them into a career.
So, how many first borns are out there?
KristyBRN
1st born. Father not an alcoholic. Both parents and a grandfather in medical profession - never thought I would be until after college. Have always been a bit of a care-giver, to younger siblings, friends, extended family members.
I don't think I put much stock in your friend's theory though - lots and lots of 1st born girls of alcoholic fathers in much less honorable/respectable professions!
Yep, first born.
Dad wasn't/isn't an alcoholic, but did drink heavily - he was in the Royal Navy which is what mum and me put it down to.
At the age of 88, he is now my mum's full time carer.
Mum was totally independant. She ran the house and the bills, kept everything ticking along. My sister and I were totally spoilt.
I am a firstborn of four girls. No ETOH in the family for several generations. No abuse from the parents, but I had a very, and I mean a very difficult sister to live with (the 2nd born, who is 2 1/2 yrs younger than me). She threatned to kill all of us at the age of 2-3 (that made me 4-5 at the time), she was physically abusive, as well as emotionally and verbally abusive. My parents took her to psychologists, therapists, and psyciatrists. She was on medication for about 5 years which helped (clonadine) and was given the diagnosis of opisitional definance. My parents did the best they could with raising her. As she got older, she was able to control her temper, but she was incredibly strong, smart and she had to have things her way or no way. I got called every name under the sun, and most of the time my parents weren't around to hear (they were either in a different room, or outside).
When she was a teenager, she would openly defy my mother. She thought that she could get away with anything she wanted to, she got threatned with being sent away to foster care more than once......she would calm down for a while and then she was back to her usual self. My dad worked alot but she didn't defy him as much...but she did defy him.
Then we thought that she was going to turn her life around after she went to college...........she joined the army. Things didn't change once she got back. She's still the same. If she thinks the moon is cheese, it is cheese no matter what you do. You can fly her to the moon and have her taste it. Her response? "You flew me to Jupiter." or some other planet....she will try to reason her way out of everything.
As for me.....I have always been the care giver and probably always will be.
BethT
188 Posts
Yep, first born and both parents are!! Who knew.