loosing my self confidence at work.....

[lenjoy03, RN]

Lately at work, I really can't explain what's happening to me. I kept on making alot of error. I can't help it. I think I'm doing my best but I still end up having an error.

At work, no one really appreciates all the good things I do. They only see the mistakes I make. One of my senior who's like a sadist who's very happy when I commit mistake and being reprimanded. Due to this, I continue to commit mistake. My self confidence is slowly deteriorating. I don't what to do anymore! I know I can overcome this but things always end up wrong. The sad thing is, when my other colleagues commits mistakes, its as if its no big deal to them. But me.... I always get an anecdotal report. I want to open this up to our MAnager but sometimes his a bit biased especially when his close to the staff that committed mistake. But me, everybody talks about my mistake and deep inside I want to cry because instead of a good talk or support for me not to commit the same mistake anymore, they keep on talking negative stuff behind me. And they kept on abusing and bullying me because I'm not fighting back. SAme issues when I have to admit patient's in the isolation area. That's should't be me. One of my senior said, "We're seniors. So you do it." Then she laugh.

I think I'm committing more mistakes because of the negative issues I hear about me.

Any opinion would really be appreciated. I just need someone to talk to right now.

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

Sounds like a toxic work environment. Maybe time to look somewhere else. Sorry you are going through this.

[MADHAT6]

this is the way nursing is these days...i am so sorry...there is so much emphasis on catching people making mistakes instead of patient care and i think it is a response to all the oversight,medicaid,medicare,jcah,and it gives the people above a sense of righteous indignation when mistakes are made,because we are all trained to be the patients advocate,even against each other and the doctors...of course the more worried you are about mistakes the more likely you are to make them...and your supervisors will have to replace you,at an average cost of 10,000 $ to recruit an rn,so they can make the next person scared and miserable...i don't believe it's you at all...i can relate to what you are saying...if your atmosphere is so bad that it is making you miserable and feel diminished...exercise your option to look for a friendlier more supportive environment...it is one of the fringe benefits of being a nurse that you can go and work anywhere ! Good Luck !:typing this is you typing your resume !

[lenjoy03, RN]

thank you very much nrsang and badhat. A slot for OR was opened few months ago and I asked to be transfered. When everyone knew about it, they kept on telling me all the negative issues in OR. The doctors shout at you, throw instruments, power struggle nurses. This and that... then when I was waiting for the interview, I waited for nothing. Our manager didn't continue my transfer to OR. I was very shocked! I was thinking if there are any open slot in the future, hopefully, I can transfer to other unit.

[WindyhillBSN]

You should find employment elsewhere. It's not worth it.

[WindyhillBSN]

thank you very much nrsang and badhat. A slot for OR was opened few months ago and I asked to be transfered. When everyone knew about it, they kept on telling me all the negative issues in OR. The doctors shout at you, throw instruments, power struggle nurses. This and that... then when I was waiting for the interview, I waited for nothing. Our manager didn't continue my transfer to OR. I was very shocked! I was thinking if there are any open slot in the future, hopefully, I can transfer to other unit.

I've heard that too about the OR. Maybe you should look for a dept. with a little more "TLC" first to get your confidence built back up, then go for something like the OR.

[lenjoy03, RN]

I live in the Philippines and its very hard to transfer to any hospital that easily. You know, economic crisis.

This is so depressing. I'm starting to doubt myself....

[medsurgrnco, BSN, RN]

You have been a nurse less than a year, and say you are making a lot of errors. I suggest you examine factors involved in those errors and think of strategies to prevent future errors. While you may be in a very toxic environment, you should be able to reduce the number of errors which would not only be good for your patients but increase your chances of being able to transfer to a more harmonious unit.

[AnnaSL, BSN, RN]

I live in the Philippines and its very hard to transfer to any hospital that easily. You know, economic crisis.

This is so depressing. I'm starting to doubt myself....

DONT EVER DOUBT YOURSELF...the more you will become less focus..

What you should do is, think back.. What are the things you have done wrong and take that in.. Seems like nobody really wants to help you and you know what, only you can help yourself...

I've been there, being the New Nurse.. I did made mistakes like you do and all of us underwent that stage...

Nobody is perfect.. but dont Stick to that reasoning, you can make imperfections perfect...

Dont think too much of what they say because it will definitely ruin u. Instead, focus on the events that happen in the past and what went wrong. then KEEP that in and NEVER to commit the same mistake again..

We learn from error. Sometimes you have to fight back..

I know what you are going through.. It's hard to find job nowaday in the Philippines. Hmmmm... i guess, i could suggest you need to relax a little bit.

:heartbeat think and assess everything... :up:okey?

[Butterflybee]

Sorry you are going through that. Try to remember why you became a nurse in the first place. And dear people are just people, these people are in the medical field. It's sad that some people enjoy making other people feel bad. Im sure you can find another job somewhere else when youve finally had enough and/or you see that things just wont change. Im just starting out and these are the things im afraid of.

[gonzo1, ASN, RN]

Just remember that everyday is a new day to learn and practice your skills. Everyday you are a more experienced and better nurse than the day before. Just keep learning and practicing and before long you will be great. It takes five years to get really good at your job.

Ignore the mean people. Karma will catch up to them. The angels are watching out for you and you will be fine.

[suanna]

I made a serious med error in my senior year of the Col. of Nursing. It could have been a sentinal event, but thankfully no lasting harm was done- just extra labs, and an extra day in CCU. I should have been booted from the program but since an instructor actively helped me administer the med I think they cut me some slack rather than risk publicizing the incident. The reslut- "no more med errors or you are out of the program" (with only 3 mos to go). I was so nervous about med errors I made probably 20 in the next 2 weeks- nothing noteworthy- wrong pills to the wrong room but caught it before I gave it to a patient, missed meds on 10am rounds but by CHECKING CHECKING CHECKING discovered and given by 11am. Wrong dose- by 1/2, discovered and corrected- gave the other 1/2 two hrs late. The point is, when anything makes you nervous, sometimes instead of getting more focused you get less-an almost "deer in the headlights" reaction. If you can, take a few days off and put it out of your mind. Take a deep breath and RELAX before you start your rounds. Tell yourself that you are a GREAT caregiver-over and over - even if you don't believe it you need to learn to believe it. Confidence sometimes results in skill- not the other way around. Even if you have to fool yourself into a false sense of confidence, you know how to do the job, you just have to allow the skills to flow naturaly. Right now I suspect your anxieties are blocking your abilities.