lengthy--graduation blues

  1. Normally, I have moments where I am down, but I tend to perk myself up. Maybe I never hit that happy elation, but I certainly hardly ever feel depressed. The past couple of days have just been pretty bad. I have to vent, and maybe I will feel better. And maybe to those who respond, I may be offered something I missed in my wallowing in self-pity. So, what is going on...lots of things. Here goes.

    1. I got a job in OB that starts the 16th. I have been really looking forward to this since this is why I went into nursing. I did my focused practicums there. The director apparently liked me and "created" a position for me. She then told my instructor about this. I am a very dedicated student and work hard for my grades. I study hard and put so much effort into my care plans and papers. I tend to get the highest score in clinical in class. This quarter is no different...I received a 98% (not because of getting a job but because of my research into my papers) Where am I going with this is that one of my best friends (friend A) works in the same unit as an RN. She recently told me that the staff and her were talking about me and they pretty much think that me getting hired is just stupid since there was no position advertised. And that I was going to "steal hours". I fear they see me as a threat. She then "jokingly" suggested I get a job at another facility since my job would probably only be per diem, according to her. At first, I was heartbroken that my friend would actually talk about me this way at my future place of employment before I even got there and WHY would she even tell me something like this. Then, I got mad, and let her know what I thought of this behavior. I wonder if maybe this has anything to do with the attention I have been receiving lately from the director and from instructor.

    2. I have another friend B who was going to throw a graduation party for me. It was supposed to be a surprise, but then above mentioned friend A decided to throw a party the night before. I guess a promise was made that this weekend would be to celebrate my graduating. So, my friend became upset and cancelled this surprise party. Friend B said that she would instead take me and another good friend out to dinner. It isn't that I want her to spend money on me, I just appreciated the guesture. This has been planned for about a week and a half. Yesterday, friend B asked, "so what are we going to do tomorrow?" I told her it was her game. She said, "well since you are so busy, how about we just don't do it." Yeah, soooo busy that I sit in front of my monitor now, tapping away.
    Then Friend A (OB unit RN friend) tells me today that the only reason she decided to do her party(which was unrelated to my graduation) the night before my "secret" graduation party was because she knew friend B would get upset and cancel (issue with jealousy, I think). I was stunned that she would pull that kind of crap. So, really both of my friends let me down. Friend B, for just flaking out period. Friend A for her backhanded witchyness (due to censoring, I don't mean that with a W. )

    3. My husband went camping and MAY be attending my graduation tomorrow. It depends if he makes it home in time. Ok, some of you may think that perhaps I let him walk all over me for allowing him to do this. That is ok, I know what it reads like. Sounds pathetic, but the opposite is true. He does his thing and I do mine. Usually no problem with it. I told him, that him going was his own decision to make and he should do pros and cons before deciding. Well, I guess a night out at the river, drinking ,and doing Lord knows what else is more important.

    4. Lastly, My mom can't see me graduate because she lives in Virginia and I live in Washington and both of us are too poor to have her fly out. I have no other family besides my kids and hubby to see me graduate. I was ok with this until my freinds starting acting wierd on me.

    So, there is alot coming down the few days before I graduate. I was so excited about it. Now, I feel as it is bittersweet because my friends aren't what they make themselves out to be, my husband is a flake. But the sweet part is that I DO graduate tomorrow and can say "good-bye" to school forever, if I so choose. I ended my school career with a bang with awesome grades. My instructor even pulled me aside and told me how proud he was of me, and that the last paper I wrote for him was the best he had read from our program, ever. (Got to toot my own horn, here. .)

    I know that this whole emotional episode will pass. Like I said earlier, these episodes are very infrequent...and thank God for that! I am also pretty aware that it could also be all of these changes that are occurring...you know, from student to new graduate nurse.

    Well, to those that actually read this lengthy post, I thank you. I feel better allready. I am going to try to not be stuck in this defeatist mode for the rest of the night because I WANT to have a good time tomorrow, and keep in sight what tomorrow's ceremony symbolizes.
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  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   altomga
    Don't worry about it...You have done a wonderful job and are going to graduate with a degree that you aspired for...your friend isn't sounding much like a friend though! that was mean to talk about you behind your back!! Not that any of us can "celebrate" with you...but on the flip side we are!!! cyber party dude!!!!
    A HUGE BIG CONGRATULATIONS......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    YOU GO GIRL!!! PARTY ON!! HAVE A DRINK ON ME!!! BIG OLD COLD BOTTLE OF SMIRNOFF ICE!! YUMMY!!! GOES DOWN SMOOTH!

    (oh don't worry, when I graduated my family was there to watch me, but I didn't have any type of party or anything. pretty much ended like any other day....EXCEPT INSIDE I KNEW I HAD ACCOMPLISHED A HUGE FEAT...I GRADUATED COLLEGE!!! AND THAT FELT FREAKIN' WONDERFUL!)
  4. by   Spidey's mom
    Congratulations . . . . we all know how hard this was for you and what an accomplishment it is.

    Enjoy your time in the sun . . . . and find some new friends.

    . . . and I've already had two glasses of wine so I'm coming to the cyber party too!!


    You've done an awesome thing. Be proud.

    steph


    I
  5. by   gizzy76
    Congratulations on your grad! I only graduated a few short months ago and although I had family present, the best part of it all was knowing that I made it! Nursing school is not easy and you've obviously worked very hard to get the grades you did and the praise you recieved was definitely well deserved. Go and enjoy your new job, do your best and know that you earned your credentials. Don't let anyone else get in the way of that. These "friends" do not sound like real friends if they are going to backstab you this way. They're obviously jealous as well of how well you've done.
    Be proud! Congrats to you and best wishes in your future career!
  6. by   Tweety
    Congradulations!!!!
  7. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    Your "friends" are probably jealous. You don't need friends who act like these girls do. I would be very hurt if my husband did not attend my graduation.
    I hope yours thinks of you and chooses to be there to support you at graduation.
    Congrats on your grades and having instructors that appreciate talent and intelligence, and congrats on your new job. Don't let others rain on your parade.

    Shine on, girl!
  8. by   RNinRI
    Congratulations on your graduation!!! I'm sorry your friends are doing this to you. Don't let it ruin your happy day that you worked so hard for. Remember, it's your day to celebrate your accomplishment! Be happy, be proud!
    Party on!!! :hatparty:
  9. by   passing thru
    Congratulations Kimmi !
    I agree with all the posters. When I graduated from nursing school with honors as you are, I also had "friends" who were
    jealous/envious.
    I realised I had to close the chapter of my life with riends like them and find new friends, which I did.
    Those kinds of friends just drag us down.
    True friends are caring, encouraging, and supportive.

    You're on a whole new page now, and you have
    done it all on your own. And , nursing and career
    success is like that. It is an independent endeavor. You just have to pick up
    the ball and continue running with it.

    Best of luck.
  10. by   CseMgr1
    I know how you feel. My (now ex-) husband acted like a horse's ass, making me feel like a low-life on the day I had been waiting for, for years. Don't let ANYTHING get in the way of this special day, because, by God, you EARNED it!:kiss
  11. by   canoehead
    Friend A is not a friend, and I would be very wary of her opinions and comments. She may be the one starting all the nasty rumors at work.

    Friend B gave up too easily, but why don't you call her and tell her so and go out with the girls- Dutch treat. Leave the hubby to his fish and tell him what a great time you had when he gets home.

    Hubby is just a bit dense, but if this is important to you just say so. He might be so proud and pleased that you want to spend this big day with him by your side. Or maybe he won't want to go, but you will be kicking yourself if you don't at least ask.
  12. by   sbic56
    Congratulations! Your friends and hubby are the losers this week...you are the big winner!! Enjoy that job in OB you have been aspiring to obtain. There are always those who are going to be envious of what you have, but you have earned every bit of it! They'll get over it.
  13. by   kimmicoobug
    Thanks all for the replies. You guys just have NO idea how much it means that you guys responded. It wasn't so much that I wanted a party so bad. I just appreciated the guesture that friend B would actually think about the whole thing and go through the trouble. (Which of course didn't happen). This friend is actually a very good friend to me and I don't usually have anything negative to say about her. Last night, I came to the conclusion that it really DID bug me that she blew me off. I have decided to let her know it since we are pretty honest with each other.
    Friend A....She graduated a year ago. She made OK grades, but nothing spectacular. Theory-maybe she is jealous of my grades and feels threatened about her job. (New director, who is a current instructor, is coming on board same time as me and prolly some huge changes...me, I won't know any difference so I will be fine). The thing is when the current director "created" the position. She went around and discussed with some of the senior staff members if this was a good idea. They said "yes". So, I know not everyone hates me. I will go in there, like any other job I have had, learn, and do my job. Really, that is all I can do.

    Too late to talk to hubby, though. He has been gone most of yesterday and "should" be back in time to jump in the shower and go. Sure. He knows what he is in for if he misses and it won't be purty.

    So, after a night of sleep, I feel better. I will enjoy the ceremony, like I know I will and then come home and study! Yippee!! I have a math test in the morning at my new place of employment. But, maybe I will have a few glasses of wine to "relax" me from the excitement of the day.
  14. by   2ndCareerRN
    your friends are (_._)'s, while your husband is a much larger (_o_).

    and that just about sums it up, imho.

    congrats on your big day.

    bob
    Last edit by 2ndCareerRN on Jun 8, '03

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