keep hope alive

oramar · Nov 5, 2001

Do things that allow you to disengage completely when you are off duty. Get out of town, have a hobby. When you are home think about home, when at work think about work. If the phone rings constantly on you days off shut off the ringer. If you are sick use your sick time. No super nurse heroics. Don't do double after double even if managment sings a sad song. Don't double back any more than absolutely necessary. Talk to managment about sane shift rotation and sane scheduling in general. Don't hold things in to give appearance of being strong. Speak to managment about problems. If they avoid addressing issues point out to them that is what causes nurses to disappear. Increase the amount of time you spend with people who make you feel good and decrease the amount of time with the people who are dragging you down. If there are certain issues that are giving you grief make a plan to deal with them whether they are work or home problems. Save you own sanity and life anyway you can.

CareerRN · Nov 5, 2001

Ohbet,

First of all there is nothing at all wrong with you. I would almost bet that like a lot of us you have not actually changed the way you have lived since you became a nurse. This includes personal and recreational routines. The only exception might be that you are too exhausted both mentally and physically to do the things you use to because of the job.

Do you ever get a feeling of dread as you are driving into work? Do you want to turn around and go back home on the way? This is not you. This is the job. Do you want to see things change and have some control over how we practice? Are you tired of waiting for this to happen?

Join the crowd. Many of us are in the very same boat. I do not think I have to explain to you how things in nursing are not going to change until nurses take it on themselves to make the changes needed. This is just not going to happen with the attitude prevalent in nursing today. There are too many nurses waiting for the government or a union to step in and make the changes for them. Kind of stupid, if you ask me, to have to actually vote in a formal labor union and pay dues when nurses could al meet in an auditorium or other place and do the same thing.

You are loosing the spark you once had because it has been drained out of you. Some people would say it must be you. Some would argue that it is burnout. It is actually neither. It is just having to face the monster day in and out. It is a monster that nurses let it become. Nurses participated in it's birth. We nurtured it and allowed it to continue to evolve. Today, many of our most experienced nurses are being eaten alive by it. Why can't nurses kill it? We actually do have it in our power to take control of it and send it to the bowels of hell from where it came. This alone would probably stop a lot of the back biting that is so common place.

Unhappy people do unhappy things. They fight, argue, and are very rude to one another. If nurses were to focus their aggravation on actually taking control of the profession instead of each other, then I bet the changes that would occur would make our professional lives a lot happier, easier, and the spark would come back for many.

In other words, have you ever seen anyone really happy who did not have any control over their own life? If you sit down and figure it out, we spend more hours on the job than anything else in life, except for sleep.

I am not going to tell you that by getting away it is going to make the job anymore enjoyable. The truth is that no matter how much time you spend away from this job, either physically or mentally, the feeling you get on your drive into work will not change. The working environment you have to endure when you walk through the door will not change.

The only way things will actually change is when and if nurses stop hoping and praying for someone to step in and change things and actually do it themselves.

You might want to read another tread that is very similar to what you have mentioned here.

https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=11132

P_RN, ADN, RN · Nov 5, 2001

CareerRN that was great. Thank you .

Oramar you have good points to make. So often we are perceived as being non-persons...or the "just another warm body experience."

Ohbet, keep trying. It will come to be. It HAS to.

micro, RN · Nov 5, 2001

Hey, great question. Asked in many forms, many of us deal with this one daily!!!!! Am in middle of this question myself after ten years. Have learned also with forty plus years hanging around on this earth a few things. I am who I am. I am a good nurse. I have always been geared to helping people. I am also geared a little to helping the "underdog". I have tried to fit in and it never worked out for me!!!!! I don't fit!!!!! The thing that gets me down most about work is my coworkers(not that all are bad)(infact many great). But the backbiters and the straight to your facers!!!!! I love patient and family care!!!!!!! I know I make a difference!!!!! You remember that also!!!!!

:rolleyes: micro:eek: :eek: :eek: :)

nur20 · Nov 5, 2001

This is some of the best advice i've heard on the BB. Reading these posts made me feel so much better. I lost my mind there for a while working 26hrs. this weekend, an assignment i didn't have to take but as i said i must have been delirious. I feel like a train ran over me, But you guys made it all better Thanx !!!!

ohbet · Nov 5, 2001

Thank you for the replies,and all future replies. Im considering them all.

debbyed · Nov 5, 2001

Another thing you might want to consider is moving on...to a new unit...to a new speciality...to a new type of nursing. Personally I've found over the years that when I start didliking my work, when I start dreading comming to work on a routine basis it's time for me to "explore my options. Thats usually the time for me to start something new, to rekindle that spark, and to relearn just how much I really like my profession. I've stayed at some jobs for only a year, at others for 10 years. I just refuse to let my job affect my outlook on life.

So try "kicking-it-up-a-notch"

Best of luck to you.

nicola · Nov 5, 2001

I couldn't agree more that when a person starts dreading work, it's time to move along (unless you can negotiate your way out of the detestable situation.) I left my last job because of unreasonable demands. When I gave notice, they offered me a raise 3 times if I'd stay! My answer every time was that it isn't about $$, but about my time and ability to give quality care to my patients. Had they been willing to decrease my client load, I'd have stayed. They weren't, so I left!

On the other hand, if you're still fairly new in your job, you may want to set a time limit and see if you're in a phase. I've been in that space where everything is awful and I have no confidence in myself at all. I've found that to be a symptom of being overwhelmed and that means I need to take a step back and re-evaluate my priorities.

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Nov 6, 2001

I agree that maybe it is time to move on. And I say this as one who has moved on (and on and on!) I have changed my job 5 times in the last 4 years, actually a few more if you count the times in between places that I returned to the VNA. For me, it has alot to do with needing a new challenge, and refusing to allow my job to destroy my family life. Most of my job changes have been for my mental or physical health. When my BP went sky high, I knew I had to leave my PACU job. I loved that kind of nursing but I was on the late swing shift that I thought would work well for my family, but in reality got me stuck late every night. Being somewhere when you feel stressed out is just not worth it. I kept returning to the VNA b/c of the flexibility of hours, it allowed me to have my family life back again. The thing I have learned from all my job changes is that if I can't get the job I want based on the hours I want, then it is not the job I should accept. I can't compromise what I need in order to "get that experience." It is also not worth it to stay somewhere if you aren't really happy. Life is too short to feel anxious and unhappy, to feel that knawing in the pit of your stomach everyday when you go to work.

I say jump ship, keep looking, even if you haveto change several times. You will eventually find what you want and need. Iadmit I have found what I feel is a great and low stress job. And it is about time, my resume was starting to look like the bible! I'm glad I finally found something I think I will be good at, with the perfect hours, it was getting old doing all those applications interviews and physicals!

Life is too short to be unhappy! Move on. Be Happy!!!