Is getting married in nursing school a bad idea? - page 2

I am a second semester nursing student and 19 years old. I am planing my wedding for next december 2002, but I am worried that it could possibly effect my studies. I just wanted to hear from others... Read More

  1. by   RNKitty
    Too many major life events at once leads to GREAT STRESS. Nursing school is stressful enough without adding more stress on top of it all.

    I love my hubby very much, and we waited to get married until I was out of school (or else my father wouldn't pay for school - I didn't realize I could get MUCH better financial aid if I was married and didn't count my parents income). However, I was only 22 years old, and I really feel I should have waited until I was at least 25-30 before getting married. You grow and change so much in your early twenties! Allow yourself to turn into the woman you want to become first, then bring that strength with you to the marriage. On the other hand, if you are together for the changes, you can grow together.

    Good luck with what you decide.
  2. by   4XNURSE
    Originally posted by RNKitty
    Too many major life events at once leads to GREAT STRESS. Nursing school is stressful enough without adding more stress on top of it all.

    I love my hubby very much, and we waited to get married until I was out of school (or else my father wouldn't pay for school - I didn't realize I could get MUCH better financial aid if I was married and didn't count my parents income). However, I was only 22 years old, and I really feel I should have waited until I was at least 25-30 before getting married. You grow and change so much in your early twenties! Allow yourself to turn into the woman you want to become first, then bring that strength with you to the marriage. On the other hand, if you are together for the changes, you can grow together.

    Good luck with what you decide.


    Right on RNKitty!

    ken
  3. by   sharann
    Two of my classmates were married towards the end of nursing school and they did fine, but, they stressed a lot more than those of us who were already married, or the single folk. I myself had been married for 8 years prior to nursing school, and it did not stress my marraige at all because my husband KNEW that school is time consuming as heck. If you don't have a mature guy (is he 19 too?) then you may have a challenging time. 19 is so young to get married (oh, whoops, I was 19 when I did it, so long ago!)
    Good luck either way!!!
  4. by   grouchy
    Hmmmm... I'm sure you hear this all the time, but why not wait until you are a little older? I don't want to be mean, and I will say that I just took care of a delightful 81-year-old man, who married his wife when they were in their teens, and they are still madly in love. But the odds aren't with you.

    I went back for a nursing degree in my mid-twenties after a previous degree. I met my long-term boyfriend during the first degree and he did not help my GPA ! We went through that period where love, romance, being together is the top priority. When I went back to nursing school we had cooled down a bit. Still in love, but the way you are way you've been together a few years and you can pay attention to other things!

    Nursing school was so time -consuming, I can't imagine having done it without putting my relationship on the back burner. And yes, it was those last two years, balancing clinical, classes, and work that were the killer.

    All of this is just to say, don't do it if your fiancee can't take coming second to school, especially during the honeymoon phase of your marriage.
  5. by   nursedawn67
    Getting married during nursing school isn't a bad idea. I just feel sorry for you with all the stress, I hear planning a wedding is stressful enough, and I know school is stressful....MY HATS OFF TO YOU!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON THE UPCOMING WEDDING!!!!!!
  6. by   semstr
    Got married in first year and divorced in the last year.
    Too much stress, too young, not enough money, husband not really supportive, he was 10 years my senior, wanted to start a family..................... got pregnant and lost it on the ward in the 12th week of my pregnancy (probably would have happened anyway, who knows) on the day of my finals.

    So think about it!!
    Take care, Renee
  7. by   kaycee
    I don't know about marriage and school but I think it would be more stressful as others have said. I just feel strongly that 19 or 20 is too young to get married. You need to sow your wild oats and live a little. I didn't get married until I was 28. I traveled and played, bought what I wanted and generally lived the way I wanted with me only being responsible for me. I was self sufficient and having a ball. I married at 28, both my husband and I had saved money, so we paid for our wedding, were able to buy a house. Twenty years later I am still married to a wonderful man and have 2 great kids. My daughter is 18 and I encourage her to finish her education, get a job so she's never dependent on anyone and play for a while. Not that marriage isn't fun, but it takes a lot of commitment and hard work and once you have kids it's harder to do the things you've always wanted to do. Everyone is different and you have to decide what is best for you, but I would wait.
    Best of luck to what ever you choose and in your new nursing career to come.

    Lynne
  8. by   Nurse_Bonita
    Hmmm.... Don't know where I fit in here. My boyfriend graduates from RN school in December and I start RN school in August. He told me that he would help me in any way possible. We've talked about marriage, but I think we will probably wait until I graduate. Of course if he asked me tomorrow I'd say yes.
  9. by   live4today
    Originally posted by teresab_2000
    I am a second semester nursing student and 19 years old. I am planing my wedding for next december 2002, but I am worried that it could possibly effect my studies. I just wanted to hear from others who got married in school and hear their experiences. Thanks!!

    P.S. I am also going to be taking clinical at the time in a BSN program.

    Hello teresab_2000,

    Nice to "cyber" meet you! I hope you won't mind a piece of very loving and motherly advice from this "age old woman of 50" who has raised three daughters - all older than you are now. Plus, the first time I got married, I was only 18 years young. NO, I wasn't pregnant, so there was NO NEED for us to marry that young other than the fact "we loved each other". Whatever that meant at that time of my life!

    First, I can't resist this next sentence I am about to write here: I would NEVER NEVER NEVER advise any man or woman to get married under the tender age of 30! :stone

    Second, I would NEVER marry while in college! What's your rush?

    Third, getting married to <play house> with the one you THINK you want to be with for the rest of your life, is a VERY Very very serious step to take in one's life!

    Fourth, have you and your S.O. discussed all the pros and cons of sharing your lives together? -- and don't overlook one another's faults because those very faults that you take ever so lovingly in the romantic phase of your relationship will be the very faults that will come back to haunt you in your marriage after the "lovebug" is through sucking the honey out of you. :chuckle

    Fifth, are you and your S.O. in agreement over how many years you'll wait to become parents? How many children you will eventually have...that is if you BOTH want children down the way??? What religious practice (if any) will you both be in agreement with for yourselves and any future offspring you may have? What do the two of you really have in common besides being able to look "googly eyed" at one another for hours on end? Have you both met and been received lovingly into one another's families? Are you both coming from healthy families, or dysfunctional ones where perhaps there was an abusive parent, an alcoholic parent, too much emphasis on 'perfection' growing up and not enough love and healthy emotions being shown you? Do you both agree on where you will reside after marriage? Are you both willing to continue to support one another's endeavors in life? What does your S.O. do for a living? Does he expect you to be the one to stay home and raise the children, or does he expect you to be the one to raise the children, earn a paycheck, come home and keep home for him and the children, cook the meals, and service him whenever he has a "rise" for the occasion? :chuckle

    I could present so many questions to you that I am willing to bet neither one of you have thought about yet. But, the above list of questions and thoughts should give you a good start as you engage in conversation with one another over candle light dinner and such.

    Bottom line here: MARRIAGE IS NOTHING TO TAKE LIGHTLY! It is something that can make or break your spirit in a very serious way, especially if children become part of the mix!

    Last but certainly not least, I ask you again....WHAT'S THE RUSH TO GET MARRIED?

    May the grace of God be with you and your fiance as you contemplate the seriousness of becoming joined in marriage together. :kiss
    Last edit by live4today on Mar 15, '02
  10. by   sharann
    Nurse Williams offers the best advice I have yet seen. I would think it over carefully. Read her post a few times.
  11. by   live4today
    Thank you, Shar!
  12. by   cindyln
    Ok another party pooper.I got married in my 2nd year of nursing school. I WOULD NEVER DO IT AGAIN!! I would wait until after greaduation and getting a job. It was the roughest years.My grades slipped.I was stressed out trying to go to school,keep house and maintain a marriage.I have told my kids to wait until after graduation to get married.It is best all around.
  13. by   Sleepyeyes
    "Is Getting Married in Nursing School a Bad Idea?"

    Ans:
    Yes.
    I would definitely get married in a church.
    :roll :roll :roll :roll :kiss

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