If You've Ever Given Birth...

[shay]

Okay, ladies...I have some questions here...

I'm an OB nurse. I deliver babies for a living. I have never personally given birth or ever been pregnant. So here's my question....in all honesty, what does labor really and truly FEEL like....other than painful?

I mean, is it crushing, stabbing, ripping, aching, WHAT? I can't exactly ask my labor patients these kinds of questions...so I want to hear from you.

Because I'm approaching 30, and although I want children very much, to be quite frank, labor scares the bejesus out of me...all of my friends, with the exception of ONE, had totally drug-free childbirth. I just want the lowdown....what does labor FEEL like???

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

Originally posted by Charisse

Needless to say, I now have a female doc, after dealing with the aforementioned incident. I kind of am somewhat gunshy about male docs.

I had always had a male OB my entire life (OK, only 8 years :) )

I recently switched, not by choice, but because my doc moved back to Greece. I changed to a female doc in the same practice. There was never anything I disliked about the male doc at the time, and still isn't really, but are female docs different!!!! MUCH BETTER in my opinion!!

Heather

[Charisse]

I know! Mine really listens to me like I have a brain! And discusses things when they need to be discussed. She never takes offense if I disagree about anything. I cannot believe I

waited this long.

Char....

[Pammy]

I delivered 5 children, 4 of which were born "naturally". My oldest is now nearly 24, and while I don't remember ever detail of the birth, I remember the devastating pain that was involved!! I am a very petite person, and my daughter weighed 8 and a half pounds and was 22 inches long. I spent about 36 hours in labor, 8 of which were spent in HARD HARD labor.. and all back labor. The hospital that I had my daughter in was a "backwoods" hospital, and I don't think that they even considered a C section!

(Besides, the only anesthesiologist was busy).

The pain that I endured was SO great, that when my own mother walked into the labor room, I screamed cuss words at HER, and promptly tried to climb outta that bed so that I could "get away" (from the pain). When I try to describe labor pain to someone, I usually describe it as having a horrible session of stomach cramps , only about 1000 times worse.

My other children were a BIT less painfull, and each was delivered faster than the one before..my last child was delivered 4 hours after my contractions started, and I almost didn't make it to the hospital.

The key thing to consider and remember here, is that we are each made differently, and the labor/delivery process will vary from woman to woman. I had a friend that thought she had a mild kidney infection, and went to her doctor; he discovered that she was 8cm dilated, sent her right to the hospital, and she delivered soon thereafter. She told me that she never got more than a minor ache, and even during delivery she only felt a little "burning" sensation! Mind you, my friend has a low tolerance for pain.. so it wasn't as though she was just a tough gal, or anything.

So..what do you tell someone, when they ask just what labor REALLY feels like? Well, typically, it HURTS! But the pain can be better tolerated if you are PREPARED for it, and if you have PLANNED for it, so that you can MANAGE it.

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

My mom has always said that labor is the closest you'll ever come to death, without actually dying. Needless to say, I am an only child.

Heather

[Charisse]

Heather,

I had to laugh at what you said! I used to teach moms that when you get to the part of labor where you felt like it was inhumanely possible to tolerate any more pain, where you felt like you were going to die, in most cases, you are at or near the end of labor!

I do remember that feeling of wanting to go elsewhere than where I was with my first labor. Anywhere but where I was!

All in all, though, it was well worth it! I was blessed with 2 children!

Char......

[mattsmom81]

I used to dread going to male OB gyns for an exam (when I was young and foolish) I couldn't put it into words until I was examined by my male OB Gyn's new female nurse practitioner who was so gentle and respectful...put me at ease immediately.

I mentioned this to her and she confided that many male docs actually think we LIKE the exams, but we women know different..... I thought that was quite telling....

[shay]

Originally posted by mattsmom81

I mentioned this to her and she confided that many male docs actually think we LIKE the exams, but we women know different..... I thought that was quite telling....

You gotta be kidding me....

DO MEN 'LIKE' GOING TO THE PROCTOLOGIST??????????

[fergus51]

LOL Shay!!! EXACTLY!!!

[maire, ASN, RN]

I must just be lucky; I have been going to the same OBGYN for the past few years and he is an absolute doll. I call him Dr. Zoloft, the Feel-Good doc because he puts me at total ease with his wit, sense of humor, and gentleness. Every female GYN I have ever encountered has been brutal. It was as if "Well I've been through this and I know this isn't that bad so suck it up pffffftt" as she man-handles me like a pork chop. Bleh. Give me a guy over that any time.

[Huganurse]

Done it both ways. Once without any pain medication and once with the epidural.

my recommendation to anyone who is going to have a baby is, get the epidural!

[kids]

I had totally different experiences with each of my 'successful' deliveries (say successful as they resulted in a live birth that survived, I had 7 other pregnancies that didn't but that's another thread).

1980: WA State. Baby was 5 days early, 6-lbs. 13 oz, 18 inches. The doc who delivered my first child was a good 'ol GP who had been my doc since I was 4, he refused to deliver me unless I agreed to be drugged. I was a Lamaze graduate, though I didn't take it seriously. I had 6 hours of feeling restless in my abdomen, went to the hospital when I started feeling timeable contractions. Refused the enema had no choice on the shave, got an IV, the works. Dilated to 3 and stopped progressing, labor got really painful (baby rolled face up), fought the Lamaze, a very smart Nurse got anesthesiology to do my caudal (low epidural) made the pain stop, I was high as a kite and my labor progressed really quickly. All together I had 6 hours of feeling restless and 8 more hours to delivery.

1983: So. FLA. Baby was 14 days early, 7 lbs. 14 oz. 19 inches. I wanted another caudal and was told "Mrs. XXX, that may be how they did it then and there but here and now we have our babies one of 2 ways, wide awake or sound asleep." (I opted for sleep but found out it wasn't one of my choices). After 10 weeks of near bedrest due to 2 cm dilation and intermittent contracting I had been told I was close enough to due date that it would be OK if the baby came. I spent the day at the zoo walking, baby was really active. Starving that night, ate massive amounts of french fries and vanilla icecream. Laying in bed at 2400 I decided I had to pee and the cat was scratching to come in, so I got up to go and let the cat in. I stood up and gushed. DH said what the h**l was that. I didn't have to go anymore and told him either I just peed myself of my water broke...went to the BR and peed...water had broken. Got to the hospital at 0230. Heplock only. Position of comfort was on my right side, got there and just sorta zoned. Hit transition and hurled (remember the FF and icecream?). OB got there. Body said push, I announced I wanted to push got told not to...off to delivery room we go, me saying I wanna push...getting told no don't". On the table...me: I wanna push...doc: OK, push...me: no it hurts. Went on long enough the doc got hypoglycemic, he's in the corner drinking OJ and I say OK, I'll push now. Doc grabs the for scissors for the epis and they WONT cut...asks if they are the ones he had brought, gets told no, they are from the pack...he's LEFT HANDED. I didn't get the epis, had minimal tearing. Time from SROM to delivery was 7 hours 11 minutes.

1984: WA State...Baby was 6 weeks early, 8 lbs. 8 oz. 19 inches. Spent most of the time from 16 weeks on in bed due to dilation. I woke up in the morning, announced I was going to have the baby today. Spent the day cleaning house. I went to my scheduled OB appointment at 1430, told him I was in labor, he checked me and said it all felt the same as it had 2 days earlier, but if I did start having contractions to go to the hospital when they were 7 minutes apart. Stopped by my Mom's on the way home to tell her, she canceled her Bunco party and we went shopping for the baby. I had nothing, not a bottle, diaper or even a crib (baby in 84 was only 13 months old and still using his). Developed regular contractions so we dropped the 2 older kids with my cousin. Mom and DH are sitting there drinking coffee and chatting with her and I am like...uh...we need to go. Get to the hospital, contractions are 5 minutes apart. L & D is totally slammed, literally no beds, the hall full of walkers..I get checked and get told I have a long ways to go and to go walk, come back in an hour. DH and Mom are hungry and drag me to the cafeteria and eat in from of me, wont let me have anything because I'm in labor. We go back at 1800, contractions are 3 minutes, get told all I have done is thin some so get AROM'd to place IFM, and a heplock. Position of comfort was again on the right and I again sound the 'zone'. Was facing the FM and watched the contractions come and go. At 1930 the Nurse comes and checks me, I am at 5, lab is there and draws blood, Mom goes out for a smoke... I am on my back for all of this...it starts to get really painful, I bear down a little and it hurts less...tell DH...he wonders if it's a good idea...tell him I am going to try it again on the next contraction...and I do...OH S**T...the baby's coming...DH runs for the Nurse, she comes, whips back the sheet and says oh s**t, don't push. Another nurse comes...get rolled on my side and told not to push, just breathe. We go running down the hall to the delivery room...I roll over, throw the sheet on the floor, grab my knees and start pushing going down the hall. We get to the delivery room, they lock the wheels on the bed, and my Nurse grabs a pair of gloves, climbs up into the bed and catches him just as lots of other people show up. At 2009.

Mom comes in from smoking, I'm not in my room, lab tech is at the desk labeling my blood, and a Nurse walks up and says it's a boy. I would have loved to see the looks on their faces.

We named him Justin because rather than having him in the hallway we made it to

the delivery room...

My Nurse was extremely pregnant...had her baby 2 weeks later.

4 years later she was my preceptor in ICU

2 months ago she turned up as one of my Mom's Nurses at the cancer center.

We have agreed that somehow our lives are intertwined.

With both of the boys my mind took me to a place where it was all so tolerable. But any distraction like noise in the hall or someone talking to me made it hurt more; I think that is why I didn't yell or scream. The really bizarre thing I found with the last 2 deliveries was when it came down to the actual pushing the baby out it hurt so much it felt good to do it (kind of like being constipated and finally getting to go). I think my experiences were very much endorphin related. It really amazes me that in comparing notes with DH afterwards that it turned out that my recall of events and the passage of time are accurate.

[Melissa Supanek]

OK, what does labor feel like? I'll make it short and sweet. I had an epidural that didn't workwhen my son was born, so I quess you can say I had no pain meds.

You feel like a wounded animal who needs to be put out of their misery. (Your in pain and everyone is standing around your bed looking at you.)

Contractions - Imagine a vice twisting ever so slowly around your waist until your insides are twisted in a knot, then it slowly, SO SLOWLY, releases!

Im not kidding!