I want to like my preceptor, but...

Nurses General Nursing

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No, I'm not here complaining about NETY or any form of eating. Lol! :D I am a couple days into my preceptorship & it has been going well, I'm just not fond of my preceptor. I find her teaching methods harsh & direct. I'm not a new nurse, hell, I've been a nurse longer than her! So obviously I don't need a lot of coaching or hand holding since I'm just new to the hospital.

I try to joke around with her & nothing, just straight faced. I get text book lectures & how everything is *suppose* to be, when I know this is the real world & doesn't go by the book. She also tells me to do this & that which gets under my skin. I can't tell you why, it just does. Lol.

We had a pt. admitted for chest pain & ETOH withdrawal. She was young & I was trying to gain her trust, especially since she really didn't want to be there & was talking about signing out AMA. I can gauge people & how to talk to them, so I dropped the f-bomb infront of my preceptor. Obviously this was a special case & I don't cuss in front of *every* patient. But by the end of my shift, she was very relaxed & stayed. She was more relaxed with me than she was with my preceptor. I know you have to speak to every patient differently. But holy COW did I get an earful after that.

My preceptor will come up to me & tell me to go do this, go do that. Instead of asking me what have I done & explaining what needs to be done next, she just spouts off a list of crap that needs to be done then walks off. Generally when I'm in the middle of something. I'm not your *****, I'm your preceptee. I'm here to learn & I can't learn if you just tell me to do the crap you don't wanna do. I can tell that's just the way she.

She does knows a lot but man. Lol. I was with two different preceptors before I started with her & they were great! But then when I started with her I was really bummed out. Hahahahah! :D I know it's not permanent so I'm just gonna suck it up & just keep swimming.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
My preceptee fired me. He was awesome, really great. We had these ridiculously easy patients. He was very independent and quiet about what he needed. I am loud, talkative, outgoing (at work only). I kind of let him loose, checked in, not much by way of learning because they were so easy. I have been precepting for 11 years and to this day have very good relationships with all my preceptees (we still talk, email, get together). It's not about me as much as it is about them. He was honest about it. No hard feelings because I wasn't feeling it either, not that I would have ever said a word about it. He didn't seem open to my suggestions and if I did suggest anything he was resistive. So another preceptor is best. I am glad for the switch.

If you really feel like you are not benefitting from your preceptor I don't see any harm in asking for another nurse to be with citing "wanting to see how other nurses do things" just to get different perspective.

It is nice to see it from the preceptor's side. If it really gets untolerable I may ask to switch but right now it's just a wee bit irritating.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I had a hard time with the preceptor thing too since I had so much LPN experience under my belt.

I smiled, kept my mouth shut, and celebrated when my time was up.

I kept thinking about how they're used to preceptong fresh nurses and that plays into part of it.

I had a little desk calendar that I crossed off each shift and had a count down to when I was on my own haha.

You'll get there girl. Kill her with kindness.

You got this!

This is EXACTLY and TO A T what I am feeling. They are use to orienting brand new nurses & I have double the nursing experience than my preceptor. It's not that I respect her any less but I feel I'm not respected.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
When in orientation, do what your preceptor says....unless she is intolerable. As soon as you are off by yourself, do your thing.

I had a preceptor who I swear wanted to see my butt fired. She hovered, she belittled (she made some underhanded comments implying that critical care nurses were more superior to med-surg nurses...I was just coming out of med/surg and I confronted her about it), she nitpicked and finally, I had had it. I got different preceptors and none of them had any issues with me, nor I with them.

Orientation for me was so stressful and traumatizing, but I assure you, once you are off and working independently...it is glorious.

Best of wishes! :)

I'm so sorry that happened to you. :(

Of course I will. I plan on trying to stay under the radar, especially during my probation!

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I remember the days of my preceptor being lodged up my butt... thank God it wasn't a permanent situation and she catapulted out soon after orientation. Believe me, I think we were both happy!

Just remember that it's not a permanent thing and you'll soon be rid of her. Learn what you can, don't let her stress you out, and do what she tells you to do, but don't take her seriously lol. It's probably just a combination of a personality clash and the fact that she probably feels like she has to assert her authority with you.

Best of luck!

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I remember the days of my preceptor being lodged up my butt... thank God it wasn't a permanent situation and she catapulted out soon after orientation. Believe me, I think we were both happy!

Just remember that it's not a permanent thing and you'll soon be rid of her. Learn what you can, don't let her stress you out, and do what she tells you to do, but don't take her seriously lol. It's probably just a combination of a personality clash and the fact that she probably feels like she has to assert her authority with you.

Best of luck!

You had an unfortunate experience with your preceptor. For years, I precepted everybody that walked through the door, nurses and nurse assistants. I handled them gently and taught them what they needed to know.

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You had an unfortunate experience with your preceptor. For years, I precepted everybody that walked through the door, nurses and nurse assistants. I handled them gently and taught them what they needed to know.

Oh believe me, she definitely taught me what not to do when overseeing someone! I just got through it and went on my merry way. She was just a negative person and I didn't take her behavior personally.

I wish I could have had someone like you as my preceptor!

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I remember the days of my preceptor being lodged up my butt... thank God it wasn't a permanent situation and she catapulted out soon after orientation. Believe me, I think we were both happy!

Just remember that it's not a permanent thing and you'll soon be rid of her. Learn what you can, don't let her stress you out, and do what she tells you to do, but don't take her seriously lol. It's probably just a combination of a personality clash and the fact that she probably feels like she has to assert her authority with you.

Best of luck!

Thank you! Yes thank goodness it's not permanent!!! I want to learn everything I can as quickly as I can so I can get off orientation sooner rather than later. It's a simple personality clash & I know we don't ever have to be best friends but it just makes learning tough when she's up my ass.

I'm not a new grad by any reach of the imagination just new to hospital nursing but it doesn't take me long to figure it out.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
No, I'm not here complaining about NETY or any form of eating. Lol! :D I am a couple days into my preceptorship & it has been going well, I'm just not fond of my preceptor. I find her teaching methods harsh & direct. I'm not a new nurse, hell, I've been a nurse longer than her! So obviously I don't need a lot of coaching or hand holding since I'm just new to the hospital.

I try to joke around with her & nothing, just straight faced. I get text book lectures & how everything is *suppose* to be, when I know this is the real world & doesn't go by the book. She also tells me to do this & that which gets under my skin. I can't tell you why, it just does. Lol.

We had a pt. admitted for chest pain & ETOH withdrawal. She was young & I was trying to gain her trust, especially since she really didn't want to be there & was talking about signing out AMA. I can gauge people & how to talk to them, so I dropped the f-bomb infront of my preceptor. Obviously this was a special case & I don't cuss in front of *every* patient. But by the end of my shift, she was very relaxed & stayed. She was more relaxed with me than she was with my preceptor. I know you have to speak to every patient differently. But holy COW did I get an earful after that.

My preceptor will come up to me & tell me to go do this, go do that. Instead of asking me what have I done & explaining what needs to be done next, she just spouts off a list of crap that needs to be done then walks off. Generally when I'm in the middle of something. I'm not your *****, I'm your preceptee. I'm here to learn & I can't learn if you just tell me to do the crap you don't wanna do. I can tell that's just the way she.

She does knows a lot but man. Lol. I was with two different preceptors before I started with her & they were great! But then when I started with her I was really bummed out. Hahahahah! :D I know it's not permanent so I'm just gonna suck it up & just keep swimming.

I know you're just venting here -- but you really don't have to LIKE your preceptor to learn from her. I say this as someone who took a new job in a new state with 27 years of experience . . . orientation was uncomfortable. One poor preceptor didn't realize that "Tridil" and "nitroglycerine" were the same thing. I hung the drip, labeled it "nitroglycerine" and the preceptor panicked, trashed the drip and reported a med error because she had told me to hang "Tridil". She's no longer employed in the ICU, and to my mind that's a good thing. But she was the preceptor and I tried my best to do things her way.

Orientation is a chance for you to get to know the staff as well as to learn how things are done in that unit. It is also a chance for the staff to get to know you. You want them to know you as professional, pleasant, cooperative, approachable . . . even the preceptor that you don't like.

And you certainly don't want your new colleagues to know you as the unprofessional new nurse who drops F-bombs in front of patients. That was inappropriate and you DESERVED to get an earful after that. That could get you fired in many places.

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:nurse: Wow 2 days...you're off to a rip roaring start! Just try to put yourself in her shoes. You'll be there one day. Maybe she has some stuff she's dealing with. We all can't be fun all the time and that's okay. lol. You said the first 2 were great, so 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Try to show her a little respect at least for what she's trying to do for you.
:yes:
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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I know you're just venting here -- but you really don't have to LIKE your preceptor to learn from her. I say this as someone who took a new job in a new state with 27 years of experience . . . orientation was uncomfortable. One poor preceptor didn't realize that "Tridil" and "nitroglycerine" were the same thing. I hung the drip, labeled it "nitroglycerine" and the preceptor panicked, trashed the drip and reported a med error because she had told me to hang "Tridil". She's no longer employed in the ICU, and to my mind that's a good thing. But she was the preceptor and I tried my best to do things her way.

Orientation is a chance for you to get to know the staff as well as to learn how things are done in that unit. It is also a chance for the staff to get to know you. You want them to know you as professional, pleasant, cooperative, approachable . . . even the preceptor that you don't like.

And you certainly don't want your new colleagues to know you as the unprofessional new nurse who drops F-bombs in front of patients. That was inappropriate and you DESERVED to get an earful after that. That could get you fired in many places.

I know it just makes precepting a bit unpleasant, that's all.

About the cussing, I don't regret it one bit. She wasn't a typical m/s patient, she was a psych patient & I could tell my preceptor had zero psych experience. I knew we had to gain this patient's trust in order for her to not sign out AMA & to relax during her stay. Would I do it normally in front of any other patient/family member? No. But she is the exception, not the rule & I don't believe I deserved that tongue lashing but I wasn't going to argue with my preceptor because then I would look like I can't take criticism. But that was the one time I have one cursed in front of a patient & after that she let her guard down& was relaxed around me. I knew it would work & it did. I have no & will not curse in front of any other patient. I will not ever regret what I did, ever.

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I know it just makes precepting a bit unpleasant, that's all.

About the cussing, I don't regret it one bit. She wasn't a typical m/s patient, she was a psych patient & I could tell my preceptor had zero psych experience. I knew we had to gain this patient's trust in order for her to not sign out AMA & to relax during her stay. Would I do it normally in front of any other patient/family member? No. But she is the exception, not the rule & I don't believe I deserved that tongue lashing but I wasn't going to argue with my preceptor because then I would look like I can't take criticism. But that was the one time I have one cursed in front of a patient & after that she let her guard down& was relaxed around me. I knew it would work & it did. I have no & will not curse in front of any other patient. I will not ever regret what I did, ever.

i can not see any situation swearing in front of a patient.Sorry I have dealt with many psych drug addicted patients in my 40+ years of nursing. If I-was precepting you I my have taken this to the Nurse Manager while she chose to talk to you one on one.

Seven years of experience but zero hospital experience and you are looking for short cuts, once again as your preceptor this would alarm me.

Use this time to learn, and remove the chip off your shoulder ( I have more experience) and learn.

This sounds like a great opportunity try to follow your preceptors's lead.

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Specializes in Tele, Interventional Pain Management, OR.
I know it just makes precepting a bit unpleasant, that's all.

About the cussing, I don't regret it one bit. She wasn't a typical m/s patient, she was a psych patient & I could tell my preceptor had zero psych experience. I knew we had to gain this patient's trust in order for her to not sign out AMA & to relax during her stay. Would I do it normally in front of any other patient/family member? No. But she is the exception, not the rule & I don't believe I deserved that tongue lashing but I wasn't going to argue with my preceptor because then I would look like I can't take criticism. But that was the one time I have one cursed in front of a patient & after that she let her guard down& was relaxed around me. I knew it would work & it did. I have no & will not curse in front of any other patient. I will not ever regret what I did, ever.

Even if your preceptor has half of your years of nursing experience, if she's spent it in med surg, she undoubtedly has experience with psych patients. Not only is M-S a notorious dumping ground for admitted psych patients, but many, MANY med surg patients have secondary psych issues (diagnosed or undiagnosed). Be mindful of possible manipulation/staff-splitting from some of these patients.

Also...it's the patient's prerogative to leave AMA. You are not personally responsible for a patient's decision to do so. Document thoroughly and move on with your shift.

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