I want to like my preceptor, but... - page 2

No, I'm not here complaining about NETY or any form of eating. Lol! :D I am a couple days into my preceptorship & it has been going well, I'm just not fond of my preceptor. I find her teaching... Read More

  1. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from Scottishtape
    I had a hard time with the preceptor thing too since I had so much LPN experience under my belt.

    I smiled, kept my mouth shut, and celebrated when my time was up.

    I kept thinking about how they're used to preceptong fresh nurses and that plays into part of it.

    I had a little desk calendar that I crossed off each shift and had a count down to when I was on my own haha.

    You'll get there girl. Kill her with kindness.

    You got this!
    This is EXACTLY and TO A T what I am feeling. They are use to orienting brand new nurses & I have double the nursing experience than my preceptor. It's not that I respect her any less but I feel I'm not respected.
  2. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from ThePrincessBride
    When in orientation, do what your preceptor says....unless she is intolerable. As soon as you are off by yourself, do your thing.

    I had a preceptor who I swear wanted to see my butt fired. She hovered, she belittled (she made some underhanded comments implying that critical care nurses were more superior to med-surg nurses...I was just coming out of med/surg and I confronted her about it), she nitpicked and finally, I had had it. I got different preceptors and none of them had any issues with me, nor I with them.

    Orientation for me was so stressful and traumatizing, but I assure you, once you are off and working independently...it is glorious.

    Best of wishes!
    I'm so sorry that happened to you.

    Of course I will. I plan on trying to stay under the radar, especially during my probation!
  3. by   NurseDisneyPrincess
    I remember the days of my preceptor being lodged up my butt... thank God it wasn't a permanent situation and she catapulted out soon after orientation. Believe me, I think we were both happy!

    Just remember that it's not a permanent thing and you'll soon be rid of her. Learn what you can, don't let her stress you out, and do what she tells you to do, but don't take her seriously lol. It's probably just a combination of a personality clash and the fact that she probably feels like she has to assert her authority with you.

    Best of luck! <3 There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  4. by   Been there,done that
    Quote from NurseDisneyPrincess
    I remember the days of my preceptor being lodged up my butt... thank God it wasn't a permanent situation and she catapulted out soon after orientation. Believe me, I think we were both happy!

    Just remember that it's not a permanent thing and you'll soon be rid of her. Learn what you can, don't let her stress you out, and do what she tells you to do, but don't take her seriously lol. It's probably just a combination of a personality clash and the fact that she probably feels like she has to assert her authority with you.

    Best of luck! <3 There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
    You had an unfortunate experience with your preceptor. For years, I precepted everybody that walked through the door, nurses and nurse assistants. I handled them gently and taught them what they needed to know.
  5. by   NurseDisneyPrincess
    Quote from Been there,done that
    You had an unfortunate experience with your preceptor. For years, I precepted everybody that walked through the door, nurses and nurse assistants. I handled them gently and taught them what they needed to know.
    Oh believe me, she definitely taught me what not to do when overseeing someone! I just got through it and went on my merry way. She was just a negative person and I didn't take her behavior personally.

    I wish I could have had someone like you as my preceptor!
  6. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from NurseDisneyPrincess
    I remember the days of my preceptor being lodged up my butt... thank God it wasn't a permanent situation and she catapulted out soon after orientation. Believe me, I think we were both happy!

    Just remember that it's not a permanent thing and you'll soon be rid of her. Learn what you can, don't let her stress you out, and do what she tells you to do, but don't take her seriously lol. It's probably just a combination of a personality clash and the fact that she probably feels like she has to assert her authority with you.

    Best of luck! <3 There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
    Thank you! Yes thank goodness it's not permanent!!! I want to learn everything I can as quickly as I can so I can get off orientation sooner rather than later. It's a simple personality clash & I know we don't ever have to be best friends but it just makes learning tough when she's up my ass.

    I'm not a new grad by any reach of the imagination just new to hospital nursing but it doesn't take me long to figure it out.
  7. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from OrganizedChaos
    No, I'm not here complaining about NETY or any form of eating. Lol! I am a couple days into my preceptorship & it has been going well, I'm just not fond of my preceptor. I find her teaching methods harsh & direct. I'm not a new nurse, hell, I've been a nurse longer than her! So obviously I don't need a lot of coaching or hand holding since I'm just new to the hospital.

    I try to joke around with her & nothing, just straight faced. I get text book lectures & how everything is *suppose* to be, when I know this is the real world & doesn't go by the book. She also tells me to do this & that which gets under my skin. I can't tell you why, it just does. Lol.

    We had a pt. admitted for chest pain & ETOH withdrawal. She was young & I was trying to gain her trust, especially since she really didn't want to be there & was talking about signing out AMA. I can gauge people & how to talk to them, so I dropped the f-bomb infront of my preceptor. Obviously this was a special case & I don't cuss in front of *every* patient. But by the end of my shift, she was very relaxed & stayed. She was more relaxed with me than she was with my preceptor. I know you have to speak to every patient differently. But holy COW did I get an earful after that.

    My preceptor will come up to me & tell me to go do this, go do that. Instead of asking me what have I done & explaining what needs to be done next, she just spouts off a list of crap that needs to be done then walks off. Generally when I'm in the middle of something. I'm not your *****, I'm your preceptee. I'm here to learn & I can't learn if you just tell me to do the crap you don't wanna do. I can tell that's just the way she.

    She does knows a lot but man. Lol. I was with two different preceptors before I started with her & they were great! But then when I started with her I was really bummed out. Hahahahah! I know it's not permanent so I'm just gonna suck it up & just keep swimming.
    I know you're just venting here -- but you really don't have to LIKE your preceptor to learn from her. I say this as someone who took a new job in a new state with 27 years of experience . . . orientation was uncomfortable. One poor preceptor didn't realize that "Tridil" and "nitroglycerine" were the same thing. I hung the drip, labeled it "nitroglycerine" and the preceptor panicked, trashed the drip and reported a med error because she had told me to hang "Tridil". She's no longer employed in the ICU, and to my mind that's a good thing. But she was the preceptor and I tried my best to do things her way.

    Orientation is a chance for you to get to know the staff as well as to learn how things are done in that unit. It is also a chance for the staff to get to know you. You want them to know you as professional, pleasant, cooperative, approachable . . . even the preceptor that you don't like.

    And you certainly don't want your new colleagues to know you as the unprofessional new nurse who drops F-bombs in front of patients. That was inappropriate and you DESERVED to get an earful after that. That could get you fired in many places.
  8. by   wondern
    Wow 2 days...you're off to a rip roaring start! Just try to put yourself in her shoes. You'll be there one day. Maybe she has some stuff she's dealing with. We all can't be fun all the time and that's okay. lol. You said the first 2 were great, so 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Try to show her a little respect at least for what she's trying to do for you. Aretha Franklin - Respect lyrics - YouTube
  9. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    I know you're just venting here -- but you really don't have to LIKE your preceptor to learn from her. I say this as someone who took a new job in a new state with 27 years of experience . . . orientation was uncomfortable. One poor preceptor didn't realize that "Tridil" and "nitroglycerine" were the same thing. I hung the drip, labeled it "nitroglycerine" and the preceptor panicked, trashed the drip and reported a med error because she had told me to hang "Tridil". She's no longer employed in the ICU, and to my mind that's a good thing. But she was the preceptor and I tried my best to do things her way.

    Orientation is a chance for you to get to know the staff as well as to learn how things are done in that unit. It is also a chance for the staff to get to know you. You want them to know you as professional, pleasant, cooperative, approachable . . . even the preceptor that you don't like.

    And you certainly don't want your new colleagues to know you as the unprofessional new nurse who drops F-bombs in front of patients. That was inappropriate and you DESERVED to get an earful after that. That could get you fired in many places.
    I know it just makes precepting a bit unpleasant, that's all.

    About the cussing, I don't regret it one bit. She wasn't a typical m/s patient, she was a psych patient & I could tell my preceptor had zero psych experience. I knew we had to gain this patient's trust in order for her to not sign out AMA & to relax during her stay. Would I do it normally in front of any other patient/family member? No. But she is the exception, not the rule & I don't believe I deserved that tongue lashing but I wasn't going to argue with my preceptor because then I would look like I can't take criticism. But that was the one time I have one cursed in front of a patient & after that she let her guard down& was relaxed around me. I knew it would work & it did. I have no & will not curse in front of any other patient. I will not ever regret what I did, ever.
  10. by   Ginger's Mom
    Quote from OrganizedChaos
    I know it just makes precepting a bit unpleasant, that's all.

    About the cussing, I don't regret it one bit. She wasn't a typical m/s patient, she was a psych patient & I could tell my preceptor had zero psych experience. I knew we had to gain this patient's trust in order for her to not sign out AMA & to relax during her stay. Would I do it normally in front of any other patient/family member? No. But she is the exception, not the rule & I don't believe I deserved that tongue lashing but I wasn't going to argue with my preceptor because then I would look like I can't take criticism. But that was the one time I have one cursed in front of a patient & after that she let her guard down& was relaxed around me. I knew it would work & it did. I have no & will not curse in front of any other patient. I will not ever regret what I did, ever.
    i can not see any situation swearing in front of a patient.Sorry I have dealt with many psych drug addicted patients in my 40+ years of nursing. If I-was precepting you I my have taken this to the Nurse Manager while she chose to talk to you one on one.


    Seven years of experience but zero hospital experience and you are looking for short cuts, once again as your preceptor this would alarm me.
    Use this time to learn, and remove the chip off your shoulder ( I have more experience) and learn.

    This sounds like a great opportunity try to follow your preceptors's lead.
  11. by   jena5111
    Quote from OrganizedChaos
    I know it just makes precepting a bit unpleasant, that's all.

    About the cussing, I don't regret it one bit. She wasn't a typical m/s patient, she was a psych patient & I could tell my preceptor had zero psych experience. I knew we had to gain this patient's trust in order for her to not sign out AMA & to relax during her stay. Would I do it normally in front of any other patient/family member? No. But she is the exception, not the rule & I don't believe I deserved that tongue lashing but I wasn't going to argue with my preceptor because then I would look like I can't take criticism. But that was the one time I have one cursed in front of a patient & after that she let her guard down& was relaxed around me. I knew it would work & it did. I have no & will not curse in front of any other patient. I will not ever regret what I did, ever.
    Even if your preceptor has half of your years of nursing experience, if she's spent it in med surg, she undoubtedly has experience with psych patients. Not only is M-S a notorious dumping ground for admitted psych patients, but many, MANY med surg patients have secondary psych issues (diagnosed or undiagnosed). Be mindful of possible manipulation/staff-splitting from some of these patients.

    Also...it's the patient's prerogative to leave AMA. You are not personally responsible for a patient's decision to do so. Document thoroughly and move on with your shift.
  12. by   Emergent
    Lol, the F word isn't the best during orientation. It's actually, generally a bad idea with patients. You can establish a rapport without the F word. *******' or Freakin' work.

    Trty to stay at least a bit a couple of notches above your patients. Don't cut loose until you are off orientation.
  13. by   gemmi999
    A couple things:

    1) Preceptors can suck, but they can also be fountains of knowledge even if you don't like them personally. The biggest thing I tell people is after they're done being your preceptor, they're still your coworker. And when you have a horrible shift and are drowning? That coworker might be the one that can help you out. Be nice, be approachable, and don't disappear without telling the preceptor--even if it's just a bathroom break.

    2) I work in an ED and I try *really* hard not to swear because there are a lot of kiddos around. To the point where my coworkers were shocked when I swore in the medroom after I got report on a patient who dropped in oxygen saturation from 98 to 30% in three minutes, no response to sternal rub, crash intubation/head ct, etc. Even with psych patient's I try not to swear because me swearing gives them permission to swear and then they'll start cussing loudly.

    3) If they're want to leave AMA, explain the risks, *always* include "up to and including death" and be serious about it, and then notify the MD, d/c the IV,and have them sign the paperwork. Be clear with them that just because they are leaving AMA does not mean they can't come back through the ED if the symptoms worsen. The only people who can't leave AMA are people who are AMS/Psych/5150s/Dementia. We had a pt. be d/c from the floor who was A+Ox1 at baseline; she wanted to leave and the floor RN let her. 24 hours later she was back in the ED, with jewelry she bought at Target and a gallon of iced tea, unsure of who she was but very happy to show off her jewelry.

    4) Lastly, use your instincts. You did corrections, you know what people are trying to manipulate you/use you and you know that you can be stern and call them on it. That will help *SO MUCH* on med surg!

    Congratulations on the job!!!

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