I am so confused and need some advice!

  1. 0
    I really need advice from someone who is not family and doesn't feel like they need to tell me what I want to hear.

    I am a 30 year old single mom with two boys ages 10 and 8. We have been on our own for 7 years and it has been great but it has been a struggle. I decided to go back to school in 2005 and graduated with an accounting degree in 2009. Needless to say, 2 years later the thought of accounting makes me want to cry and so I am working as an adminsitrative assistant for $14/hour and just can't imagine doing this for the 35 years that I have left before retirement. I really want to go back to school and take the Bachelor of Nursing program because it is something that I always wanted to do I guess I just didn't believe in myself enough. I am second guessing it though because my children have already had to deal with me going to school and having to make sacrifices financially and I don't know if I want to put them through that again. We are doing pretty well financially and I am scared that they will look back at their childhood and think that it could have been better. I guess another issue I am having is trying to tell myself that this is what is best for them when my oldest will already be 14 and I will have cheated him out of the great life that I wanted him to have.

    I know that this all probably sounds ridiculous but all I want is to be the best mom that I can be but at the same time do something that is going to make me happy. I would be greatful for any insights or words of wisdom anyone can offer. Thank you!!
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  4. 21 Comments so far...

  5. 2
    Follow your heart. It will seldom lead you wrong. Wishing you and your family the best whatever you decide.
    NaKcl and WIN007 like this.
  6. 4
    I would start by going to an associates degree program. They usually offer more flexibility and you can work and go to school. Yea, everyone wants Bachelor degree nurses, but you can at least start working as an RN when you are finished with your ADN program and take classes towards your BSN while you work as a nurse.
    bunmitope, SilentfadesRPA, NENE RN, and 1 other like this.
  7. 12
    I went back to school at 38 to give my kids a better life.We struggled.We didn't have as many "things" as other families. My girls learned to be self sufficient at an early age, getting themselves off to school when I was gone at 5:30 am to get to my clinicals on time.We did our homework side by side.
    Spend time with your kids. Read to them.Listen to them. Encourage their dreams. Laugh.Show them that they can do anything they want.Just like you are. What my kids remember is the stuff we did together, not what we didn't have.When I walked on the stage to get my diploma my kids were there on stage with me.

    Best of luck.
    Erindel, leslie :-D, bunmitope, and 9 others like this.
  8. 0
    I guess I should have mentioned that I am in Canada and that I have to take the 3.5 year Bachelor program if I want to be an RN. Our LPN program is 2 years but it only offered an hour away from where I live so this would be my only option.
  9. 6
    In regards to your children, neither money nor your attending school will assure them a great life. It all boils down to you loving on them. I am confident as long as you do that, either decision you make will provide them a great life.
    snazzy-jazzy, Skips, NorCalRN2011, and 3 others like this.
  10. 0
    Honestly, it's a personal decision and one which you and your kids will have to live with.

    My kid was 6 when I went to nursing school and ended up separated from my spouse. It was tough, tough, tough to set her aside in order to do school but looking at it in the rearview mirror makes it seem a better decision.

    Kids are resilient as heck and if you strive to carve out time for them - and they know that - the bruising is much more likely to your heart than to theirs. In all likelihood, they will ultimately respect you for the sacrifices that you all had to make in order to provide a better future for all of you.

    You don't want them to look back 20 years from now and say, "Mom, why didn't you do it?" nor to suffer from the guilt that may bring on.
  11. 0
    I guess it would depend on how much time it would take away from spending with your kids. I went to nursing school at 39 years old, an associates two-year program, and my kids had to sacrifice for those two years. I guess I'm glad that I did it now but it was difficult. It can be done though if you are sure nursing is really what you want to do. Be sure though, because I am still trying to find my niche. If you can spend quality time with your children, that is was matters most.
  12. 0
    Does Canada have an accelerated BSN for those with a previous degree. You can look into this so you dont have to do the 3.5 years
  13. 2
    I agree with you, time goes by so fast and your boys need you right now. A divorce, separation is hard on children and to not have the custodial parent available when needed is too much for them. Remember, they already heard, "mommy is going to school to get her degree so we can have a good life." They sacrificed for four years. Now you are about to tell them the same thing again. When is it enough? I say this from their view, "I thought we were going to be fine when you finished the other school?" You said you are financial stable and the boys probably love their life now. Do you really want to disrupt it now? Can you wait till the youngest goes to college? What if you do this and in five years, hate nursing? I am telling you this with all sincerity, and I think you already know. Sometimes we as parents have to push aside our wants, for their needs. Peace!
    Last edit by Chin up on Apr 26, '11 : Reason: Grammar
    leslie :-D and imintrouble like this.


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