Help I'm mobbed - page 2
I am dealing with a case of mobbing. Has anyone experienced this, and can give practical advise? I am stressed and desperate to improve my situation.... Read More
Nov 21, '06Sonn, Document everything, notify HR and Administration. Try to be the model employee so when questions are asked your behaviour is unimpeachable and gives no cause for complaint, it makes the offenders behaviour seem much worse. Be strong and hang in there if you can't move. Take comfort in the knowlege tha they behave that way because of your superior skills etc as a nurse. Thinking of you Celia
Nov 21, '06SONN.Im sorry if you feel Ive been inconsiderate to your thread.Yes I do happen to be new to this computer thing.I just pray you are more patient with your clients.I didnt deserve that message from you.
Nov 21, '06Dear SONN ,I am totally sorry that you feel Ive been inconsiderate to your feelings.Im kind of new to the computer thing.I hope you have more patience with your clients,I dont believe I deserved that rude response from you.
Nov 21, '06Sonn,
I know what it is like to be blackballed, bullied, and made to feel inadequate. Your confidence is ripped form you and this has a tendency to make lesser things seem larger.
Everyone on this post has been supportive yet you have jumped to the defensive, even accusing an unsuspecting fellow nurse of hijacking your post willfully......take a deeeeeep breath. No one here is out to get you. I'd be willing to bet everyone sincerely wishes you the best.
But please don't fall into the behaviors of those who are making your life miserable by trying to make others feel badly in return. You know, an eye for an eye and soon the whole world is blind.
As for my situation. I had to get the hell out of dodge. It was unfortunate but I HAD to take care of myself. Leaving saved me, those bastards had actually made me feel dangerous, incompetent, and insecure. I moved and was able to IMMEDIATELY find people who were impressed with my skills, fair, balanced, and NICE. This is not to say that I didn't learn what part I had to play in the fiasco, there is always opportunity to change for the better, and that starts with responsibility (although I still firmly place the blame on the group of spiteful people that made my life hell).
Best of luck.
Nov 21, '06Do you know why you are being treated this way? I don't understand this 'mobbing' behavior. I've really never heard of it before but it sounds just downright mean.
Nov 22, '06I agree with those that urge you to document every detail. And if need be, seek counsel from EEO, HR or even a lawyer, if it's that bad. That is my best advice. Good luck and I am sorry for you.
Nov 22, '06sincere, sincere apologies to allantiques4me. I do have patients for my clients. And am a kind, honest person. I am sorry you percieve me as rude. I am dealing with a lot of stress. Please accept my apology.
Nov 22, '06Just read the "rude" message again...yes it is a bit sharp, sorry to you all, and thanks for not totally flaming me.
Nov 22, '06So Sonn, Im new to this kind of communication too, so excuse me if I mess up. You keep crying out for help. Did you go to your DON as you intended to do when u posted your complaints on 11-10-2006. You said that you were going to see you DON on Monday. Was that , what, over a week ago. What was said, anything helpful. Seek out every avenue of support that you can. I know what it's like to be stressed out and it can change you in a heartbeat. Let it all out, just don't beat up the wrong people like I have been know to do. Keep it real, keep it in perspective. Ronna
Nov 22, '06I am dealing with a case of mobbing. Has anyone experienced this, and can give practical advise? I am stressed and desperate to improve my situation.
I was mobbed for 1.5 yrs. Management was fully aware and did nothing. I was kept on probation for 8 months because "no one can evaluate you because you have never had the same nurse 2 days in a row and the ones you had never saw you work"(my preceptors sat down at the nursing desk and did nothing). I was a 27 year nurse with 15 yrs experience in trauma 1 ED's.
I got write ups for no reason and never was I informed of them, never had any kind of med error just things like, "left a bed untidy (I had 10 pts, 4 of which went to the ICU)". I was transfered to the night shift and my rep followed me. I was blackballed, I was screamed at regularly given unsafe patient loads (14 pt's in an ED with no help from anyone not even the aides). The supervisor was aware and again did nothing because she said although she knew it was happening she never saw it. Many a night I was in tears, I developed IBS and had migraines every night. I went to the EAP and they suggested I change hospitals which is what I did. It was the best thing I did. I then sought councelling for PTSD.
Once mobbed it does not go away, petty people abound and the weak just go along with the others because they are afraid to go against the others. The only thing you can do is get out or soon your health will be affected. Good luck to you, my heart goes out to you.
Nov 22, '06I am not sure what would be happening in an environment where one was being mobbed. I know just about everyone has been picked on before for something insignificant. Sometimes, it turns into a pattern (sometimes swirling the drain) of behavior. What I am not sure about is how it never gets stopped.
Sometimes you have to bully the bullies. Take your power back and stand your ground. Then keep your eyes open and use whatever you can find to your favor. Part of the reason it looks like they are winning is that they have you so busy watching yourself that you have no time for watching them. I assure you there are many offensives committed by the mobbers everyday that could be used by you and against your mobbers. So I guess, mob back. Others who have been mobbed WILL jump on board, they are just looking for a leader.
Once you have begun your offensive, NEVER write anything down. But give them cause to start chronicling you. Now they are on the run. When they run down to HR and you have no idea what they are talking about, because of course what you were saying was something else, they start looking like the idiots.
It takes a lot of time and energy to break up these little brat packs, but once done is fabulous. It is passive agressive warfare and I don't think it ever gets finished. Just keep your own nose clean while you bugger up their nose a little. I think I can't conceive of mobbing because dealing with these people is what I do all the time. Since they have always backed off rather easily, I must be ok at it.
So the next time someone tells you that your bed is untidy say, "Really?? My bed is untidy?? Well at least that is all. For a minute this morning I was afraid you were colorblind, then I realized you intended to wear those clothes together to form some sort of schizophrenic outfit. "
or... you haven't cleaned up your trash.... "Haven't I? It appears that everything I used is neatly packed into the appropriate receptacle. It appears that it is you who has been reluctant to clean up after yourself today."
Too slow to start the IV?? "Well why don't you get over here and give it a try. (Hovering around asking questions) Are you sure that is the best vein you can find? It looks a little small and knotty. You are going to use that size IV catheter? Don't you think it is a little small for any potential emergency. Don't you think she looks a little pale? The IV will have to be bigger to accomodate blood transfusion.... then... Maybe I should get someone else to try this, you don't seem to be doing it as well as I thought you would. Just stop and I will get a real pro."
Don't forget to do whatever you can to divide and conquer. These people alone are small simple minded folks just waiting to learn how really small and insignificant they are. Together these people are a mob, seperate they are just whiners. And if you think they aren't talking amongst themselves as much as they are talking about you they are crazy. Let them have a few secrets as possible and spill them as often as possible.
Say you overheard A talking about B to C... they were all so very sad that B has been having marriage trouble ..... in a public place to B you say "A and C were telling me what a hard time you are having in your marriage. It sounds like you are headed for divorce. Then throw in some elaborate crap, "Is he really having an affair."
In several sentences you have B concerned that her husband is having an affair and someone she doens't like knows about it. Also she is concerned now about why A and C are talking to you about her. She begins to question alliance with A and C.Last edit by ERNP on Nov 22, '06 : Reason: additional comments