Help...husband discouraging me :( - page 3

Hi all...I'm hoping you can give me some advice (and hopefully encouragement) about becoming a nurse. My husband (who is a physician) is discouraging me from becoming a nurse because he says the... Read More

  1. by   Sisyphus
    I have to wonder if you guys are delusional. I began nursing in my mid 40's and I tell people it was the very worst mistake of my life. Because I made such a crucial change late in life I find that it's difficult to find my way out of this hell and into a career that would treat me (and my co-workers) slightly better than a diseased mongrel dog. Back-breaking work with legally entitled breaks being something of a lucky gift when you get them. Mandatory overtime - you think your shift ends at a certain time, but no, you're required to stay to cover the shortage of RNs for the next shift. I could go on but the nursing shortage is happening for a reason. Nurses are treated abominably. I ask my husband how many other jobs sees the workers cry on the job from the stress. How many jobs (and who would tolerate it) make it impossible to get to the bathroom for hours after the urge to go? Nurses are enablers and with their psychological make-up allow and tolerate the abuse. The ones that decide that they are ashamed to be treated that way leave in droves. New grads start on the med-surg floor and not only leave the job, they leave the profession. BE REAL. Do not give this woman a false picture of what she'll encounter if she enters the profession. If she has the yearning to help people and be in the healthcare field steer her to ultrasound or care management or whatever. Nursing has moments of warm satisfaction. But at such a price!
  2. by   TazziRN
    Quote from Kathy732
    I have to wonder if you guys are delusional. I began nursing in my mid 40's and I tell people it was the very worst mistake of my life. Because I made such a crucial change late in life I find that it's difficult to find my way out of this hell and into a career that would treat me (and my co-workers) slightly better than a diseased mongrel dog. Back-breaking work with legally entitled breaks being something of a lucky gift when you get them. Mandatory overtime - you think your shift ends at a certain time, but no, you're required to stay to cover the shortage of RNs for the next shift. I could go on but the nursing shortage is happening for a reason. Nurses are treated abominably. I ask my husband how many other jobs sees the workers cry on the job from the stress. How many jobs (and who would tolerate it) make it impossible to get to the bathroom for hours after the urge to go? Nurses are enablers and with their psychological make-up allow and tolerate the abuse. The ones that decide that they are ashamed to be treated that way leave in droves. New grads start on the med-surg floor and not only leave the job, they leave the profession. BE REAL. Do not give this woman a false picture of what she'll encounter if she enters the profession. If she has the yearning to help people and be in the healthcare field steer her to ultrasound or care management or whatever. Nursing has moments of warm satisfaction. But at such a price!
    Sounds like nursing is not for you.........I happen to love my job and so do many other nurses I know. I got my license at the age of 26 and am still at it nearly 20 years later. Others have gotten theirs later in life. Not all feel the way you do.
  3. by   tutored
    Your husband sounds like 100% of all the different doctors I know - UNHAPPY. They're being squeezed by managed care, while nurse-practicioners are taking over some of their space. Yeah, nursing doesn't pay very well, and you see some less-than-savory members of society, but you can MAKE A DIFFERENCE in their lives, and interact with them much more personally than a doctor can do in their 2-minute hospital rounds. Your husband gets a thumbs-down from me (Sorry!) for discouraging a person from following their heart. Don't let him get you down!
  4. by   tutored
    To Kathy 132 - why are you even IN this nursing forum??? To discourage all of us who are dedicated? To make sure that we are all as bitter as you??
  5. by   Halinja
    I left this thread unanswered a few minutes ago. Its been a long day, and I felt saddened by the post above, and felt that as a student maybe I'm not qualified to answer. But I'm back. Grin. I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut.

    Recently I flew to another state. My seatmate was a nurse, and she told me she LOVED her job. Not lukewarm liked it, not tolerated it, LOVED it.

    In the other state I checked out a couple of hospitals. They didn't offer any training for a new grad. So...I won't go there. (Hang in there, this is relevant)

    I think the quality of the job is going to depend on what you make of it...using common sense. It wouldn't make a great deal of sense for a new grad to start in to a job without training. It would be much harder to love your job if you were feeling absolutely overwhelmed and undersupported.

    But nursing isn't one job, or one opportunity. There are tons of different positions, and different takes on nursing. Throughout my clinicals the last three years I have met many happy, fulfilled, dedicated nurses. (and a couple of bitter ones...but the happy ones outweighed the bitter ones.) I would have to come up with the theory that the 'enablers' are the bitter ones. (I HATE that word, enablers...it gets way overused) The happy ones are the ones that don't let themselves get pushed around, don't take crud off of anyone, but are confident and strong. And there are a lot of people like that in nursing.

    My advice to the OP. If nursing sounds appealing to you, do it, no matter what someone else thinks of it. You can make it work for you. You only get one life. Don't let someone else make your choices for you. You want it? Go for it!!!
  6. by   mizzou_ivy
    I believe your husband offers a valid point. As a nurse of a few years and many different experiences there are days I would chuck it to work drive-thru. But you hang in there and something small (i.e. a simple smile from:spin: a child to a heartfelt thanks from a grateful family member) will happen to make everything right again.

    Nursing is NOT for everyone . Nursing is NOT easy, nor clean . It's just part of the job. Funny thing is you don't notice that at the end of the day. You notice what you did for someone that made his/her life easier.

    My 2 cents...
  7. by   angel337
    Your husband knows how hard nurses work and how miserable they can be. he's just trying to warn you. if it is something you really want to do just stick with it.
  8. by   Sunflowerinsc
    Quote from Kathy732
    I have to wonder if you guys are delusional. I began nursing in my mid 40's and I tell people it was the very worst mistake of my life. Because I made such a crucial change late in life I find that it's difficult to find my way out of this hell and into a career that would treat me (and my co-workers) slightly better than a diseased mongrel dog. Back-breaking work with legally entitled breaks being something of a lucky gift when you get them. Mandatory overtime - you think your shift ends at a certain time, but no, you're required to stay to cover the shortage of RNs for the next shift. I could go on but the nursing shortage is happening for a reason. Nurses are treated abominably. I ask my husband how many other jobs sees the workers cry on the job from the stress. How many jobs (and who would tolerate it) make it impossible to get to the bathroom for hours after the urge to go? Nurses are enablers and with their psychological make-up allow and tolerate the abuse. The ones that decide that they are ashamed to be treated that way leave in droves. New grads start on the med-surg floor and not only leave the job, they leave the profession. BE REAL. Do not give this woman a false picture of what she'll encounter if she enters the profession. If she has the yearning to help people and be in the healthcare field steer her to ultrasound or care management or whatever. Nursing has moments of warm satisfaction. But at such a price!
    And you are in nursing,Why!!! I hope you are never my nurse or my families or any person that need help. Sure, nursing is hard, life is hard. I don't go to work (still after 44 years) to see how many breaks I can take or how many times I can go to the bathroom. I go to see how the pt I had before is doing now and when I cry is is generally with a family or pt, can be happy or sad.
  9. by   caliotter3
    You will never know if you never try. Your husband most likely has your best interests in mind, he doesn't want you to go in all starry-eyed. Or he could on some lower level be trying to keep you from a fulfilling existence away from tending to his needs 24/7. Try it if that is what you want to do. When it really is too late, you do not want to look back with a lifetime of regret that you never tried something that might have given you great satisfaction. If it is not right for you, at any time, during the experience, you can always make the decision to back away. At least then, you will have the satisfaction of having done what you wanted to do in order to be a happier, more productive person. Your husband might just turn out to be the support you need to make this life choice right.
  10. by   futurecnm
    I am a 2nd career nursing student and I have followed my heart to do this, despite many people questioning my motives. My former career had a lot of potential financially but my heart wasn't in it. I felt a desire to do this, and even tho it's the hardest thing I've ever done I love it. I love working with patients and going to clinicals. i know that nursing is a very hard job. Iknow there will be days I will want to just leave and not do it, but I truly believe that I will find fullfillment in this career. There are always nurses like the poster above who will try to desuade you from nursing. They are not the people who should be in nursing. Their hearts are not in it. The nurses I have talked with and know as friends overall like their jobs very much. In the areas I have worked in, the nurses do take breaks and go to the bathroom. They are stressed at times, yes, but it isn't all as bad as the posted above makes it sound (at least where I live-midwest). I try not to listen/read posts like that and take much from it, because I think you can be a nurse and be happy as well!
    That being said, I do have to say that if you do decide to do this, you will have to have your husband's support, because it is very hard. Nursing school is relentless and challenging beyond belief. Harder than I ever imagined it would be. IF he isn't behind you, it could be very hard on your marriage.
  11. by   angel337
    Quote from Kathy732
    I have to wonder if you guys are delusional. I began nursing in my mid 40's and I tell people it was the very worst mistake of my life. Because I made such a crucial change late in life I find that it's difficult to find my way out of this hell and into a career that would treat me (and my co-workers) slightly better than a diseased mongrel dog. Back-breaking work with legally entitled breaks being something of a lucky gift when you get them. Mandatory overtime - you think your shift ends at a certain time, but no, you're required to stay to cover the shortage of RNs for the next shift. I could go on but the nursing shortage is happening for a reason. Nurses are treated abominably. I ask my husband how many other jobs sees the workers cry on the job from the stress. How many jobs (and who would tolerate it) make it impossible to get to the bathroom for hours after the urge to go? Nurses are enablers and with their psychological make-up allow and tolerate the abuse. The ones that decide that they are ashamed to be treated that way leave in droves. New grads start on the med-surg floor and not only leave the job, they leave the profession. BE REAL. Do not give this woman a false picture of what she'll encounter if she enters the profession. If she has the yearning to help people and be in the healthcare field steer her to ultrasound or care management or whatever. Nursing has moments of warm satisfaction. But at such a price!

    i agree with some of your points, but you sound pretty burned out to me. all nursing jobs are not like you say. some jobs are worse than others, but all in all if you ever get to the point that you are at...its time to quit.
  12. by   JeanettePNP
    To the other posters on this thread: Please don't shut Kathy up. She has a right to have her say, even if you might not like it. I think it's important for those of us who are struggling with the decision of whether or not to go to nursing school to hear both sides of the story and make sure that we are not creating a romanticized picture of what the future holds. Kathy, I appreciate hearing from you. I have still not made a firm decision to do nursing school (in any case it's on hold for now until my children are a little older.) In the meantime I'm reading all I can, getting all the experience I can and taking all the pre-reqs I can. I may or may not choose to do nursing school in the end but when and if I do, I think it's important to know exactly what I'm letting myself in for.
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Quote from ChayaN
    To the other posters on this thread: Please don't shut Kathy up. She has a right to have her say, even if you might not like it. I think it's important for those of us who are struggling with the decision of whether or not to go to nursing school to hear both sides of the story and make sure that we are not creating a romanticized picture of what the future holds. Kathy, I appreciate hearing from you. I have still not made a firm decision to do nursing school (in any case it's on hold for now until my children are a little older.) In the meantime I'm reading all I can, getting all the experience I can and taking all the pre-reqs I can. I may or may not choose to do nursing school in the end but when and if I do, I think it's important to know exactly what I'm letting myself in for.

    Thank you.

close