Embarrasing illnesses - page 4

generally speaking, i work in environment that caters mostly to male patients at least 96% of our patients are men. having said that, last summer one of my regular patients, you know the type i'm... Read More

  1. 1
    Quote from backtowork
    Had a patient come in to the ER years ago with an acute abdomen and after a KUB was found to have Barbie doll heads all the way through his small and large intestines he had been swallowing and defecating for a thrill. When asked if that was quite expensive as Barbies were about 20 bucks a piece at the time, he replied "not really..I just wash them off and swallow the same ones over and over again". (sorry..hope you were not eating breakfast while reading this).

    Also had a female patient come in with a seriously damaged, inflamed colosotmy stoma who reported her husband had been "doing his business in there". Talk about a patient education need!
    DizzyLizzyNurse likes this.

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  2. 3
    Quote from Guttercat
    The depths of depravity that humans will sink to never ceases to astound me.

    I can usually find "black humor" in just about anything we medical professionals encounter, but animal abuse, and abuse of other people I can find absolutely no humor in.
    yep, totally agree, gc.
    my eyes are filling up when reading about these sick idiots and their sacrificial animals.
    you can be as perverted as you want...
    just don't cause pain/suffering/death to other living beings.
    i seriously can't handle this type of ****.

    Nurse Leigh, fuzzywuzzy, and Guttercat like this.
  3. 0
    Quote from grntea
    "neither do little blue pills and red bull as a group of teenage males found out the hard way. "

    squatted over one of them and waited for her note. .

    thanks for making me do a spit take with my cup of coffee.

    i have not read a funnier one-liner in a very long time.
  4. 0
    Quote from FlyingScot
    Man and dog. Man got stuck. 'nuff said.
    I have to ask... how did the guy get 'stuck'?

    I've heard of male dogs getting stuck while mating, but it's because their penis swells. I don't understand how a man got stuck and had to call 911.
    Either way, I hope he got jail time.
  5. 4
    Quote from Cat_LPN
    I have to ask... how did the guy get 'stuck'?

    I've heard of male dogs getting stuck while mating, but it's because their penis swells. I don't understand how a man got stuck and had to call 911.
    a man could feasibly get stuck, if he penetrated a very small dog, e.g., chihuahua.
    (oh gawd, sometimes i hate people.)

  6. 1
    Poor guy was taking a dump in the woods camping and a spider it his scrotum. It blew up HUGE. I felt really bad for the dude.
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  7. 2
    Quote from rn in training
    i'll 2nd that emotion
    DizzyLizzyNurse and Guttercat like this.
  8. 0
    Isn't this interesting. All the stories are about men. I guess no females ever
    come into the ER for any embarrassing conditions. Or is this just an example
    of why its unhealthy for one gender to dominate a profession. There's an old
    boys club -- and there's an old girls club as well.
  9. 0
    oh, don't be like that. the old hoohah stories are pretty funny too. i really liked the one about the dentures stuck up in there. maybe you missed that one. i once had an old lady who came in and was found to have an intravaginal potato-- which had sprouted some. she had used it (or one of its many relatives) for years as a pessary, sort of an old-time remedy. if she hadn't forgotten this one for awhile, she'd probably be doing fine with it.

    for the record, i've seen a bobby pin up a urethra (she said she "sat on it") and a long, long-forgotten tampon that was determined to be the source of the, um, problem. i've also heard of widely dilated urethras discovered in the course of infertility workup...yep, that's why she wasn't getting pregnant, and btw, seemed to spill a little urine every time she had sex.

  10. 0
    Quote from gitanorn
    addmidtely, 15 years plus ago i began to work the graveyard shift at a teaching hospital where i received my training. when one particular weekend night the usual crew was working along with me, plus one of my favorite season nurses let's call her carmen, was charge nurse at the er. having said that, we had the usual patients coming in, when carmen and i were talking a couple walked in the gentleman was clutching his chest, i immediately grabbed a w/c and took the man back to one of the rooms we began applying the leads on his chest getting vs etc. while from the corner of my eye i saw the female that came with our pt. go into one of those long ago telephone booth some of you might remember (prior cell phones). then in less than 2 minutes she walks out bend over and crying out "oh it hurts,omg" carmen said "let's place her next to her boyfriend's gurney" the female now yelling "it won't come out, it work come out!!!" when we asked her what was she referring to, she said "the beeper won't come out" carmen looked at her & said " you mean you stuck a beeper into your vagina???..after doctors examined her and x-rays were done. one could clearly see the shape of the beeper in the x-rays deep within her; therefore, only forceps could do the job. needless to say, this woman was calling her beeper which was in vibrate mode, getting her fix if you will; but wasn't able to retreat the beeper when all was said and done unquestionably, we were more embarrassed for her than she was, i learned since then that people are unpredictable and not always in the best best way.

    p.s. the male pt. recuperated nicely and he was send home, while his girlfriend was giving pt. education.
    i guess that would make being on call a lot more fun- you would be hoping for lots of pages!

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