Divorce And Affairs???? - page 7

I was wondering all of you nurses out there, does it seem that your relationship is stressed being in this field? I have read many topics having to do with divorce here and was wondering if this is a... Read More

  1. by   LasVegasRN
    I cannot say nursing had anything to do with my divorce. I just looked at him and decided I was tired of hitting the ball and dragging him around the bases.

    Someone did hit on a good point, though, about why we became nurses and how that may impact our personal lives and choices. I know I have that HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
    mentality that I slip into every now and then and I know it's because of that underlying desire to HEAL folks.

    But now, being a single Mom and LOVING it, I feel I can make better choices.

    I have also noticed a high divorce rate with my peers, but, that could be in any other profession too. In addition, I've seen bad marriages between two nurses also.

    Yes, seems that once you tell someone you are a nurse a big 'WELCOME IN' sign starts flashing behind you (unbeknownst to you) and you have to fend off a lot of freeloaders.

    Then again, some say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince...
  2. by   mattsmom81
    You said it Las Vegas...nurses do tend to be overly kind hearted and we wear it like a 'sign'....unfortunately so many get taken in easily by the users...

    This is something I HAVE noticed in nurse relationships...we tend to be caregivers in our marriages/relationships if we aren't careful....

    Healthy boundaries --one of my favorite subjects, as the child of an alcoholic/ chemically dependent household. (and lots of nurses are have ya'll noticed?)
  3. by   felltoddman

    Reading all of these posts has brought on some reflection on my part. The man I was living with during Nursing School wasn't very supportive at all. I admire those who made the decision to get out of their relationships, instead of sticking it out, even when it was obvious that it was time to leave, like I did. That was many years ago and looking back, I know he was threatened by what I was doing. I did find it interesting, though, that on the night of graduation, at the party we had, I found out that he was bragging how he had it made because of the money I would be making and all of the things he could buy for the house.
    The man I ended up marrying was supportive of my career, he never complained about my hours. And because I had worked at the same place for so long, I was able to take off a lot of time when he was dying of cancer.
    The man I am with now seemed to like my night shift hours better than he does my day shift hours, even though he expressed how glad he was when I found out I was going to days. He's more of a night person, although he doesn't admit to it.
    I truly believe it isn't the external forces that make or break a relationship (married or not), it's how we deal with life, our beliefs and value systems and how similar they are. And, more than that. I miss my husband, he was truly a wonderful man, and he was more interested in us than him.
  4. by   Bradley
    Wife and me have been married 19 yrs. 2-kids 10 & 15. My wife started nursing school when daughter was 2 yrs old. It was alot of work, going to work all day,taking care of kid & house while she studied. It WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT, our love for each other and the kid was the priority for eveything we had to do. Scrifice yes, it made us so much stronger. Now I am going to nursing school and she helps me so much. I believe that both of us being nurses will make us even stronger,it sure has a positive effect on our children. The LORD has truley blessed us.
  5. by   JMP
    Originally posted by mario_ragucci
    Hey Rachael, I dated a woman, three years ago, who was taking nursing prereq's (chem). She wanted to "zip" and "unzip" our dates like they were a computer file. She had kids too, a single mom. Boy, I didn't like it one bit. She was extremely tense, almost manic. But I really fell for her, because she was attractive. Her interest in me didn't go far beyond Mario.zip, and her "double-clicks" insulted me after awhile.

    I have been going non-stop with nursing prereq's for 18 months. I've been single the whole time, and have enjoyed gaining knowledge. I have been taking 12-16 credit quarters (fin aid...loans), but now I am in the RN program (starting in Fall), and cast my own shadow now! The nursing classes will be easy, I believe, because they are only 9 credits worth. I all ready learned all the algebra I might ever need. If I don't get a full time job at the hospital with my brand new CNA license for Spring, I'll go ahead with the upper level chem and psyh classes....for fun. By Summer, I hope to have that great big CNA hospital job in the sky, and keep it part time when RN classes start :-)

    So Mario, in this quote, you talk about being single ......... but in another quote, you know, under general nursing discusions, you refer to being married and your wife. You have to tell us..........which is it available guy on the loose.......or married guy with a wife that wants a new computer?



    I couldn't have done this if it wasn't for the constant support and dedication of Mario :-) Honestly.

    Divorce...I hear about it all the time. Some may say I got no business offering advice to you as a dude who has never been married. But I tell you, YOU CAN DO THIS IF YOU WANT. Yule hafta come up with more love than you might imagine yourself having. Love is infinate, so reach, and keep on reaching. Translate love into what you need to complete YOUR ambitions. Try to filter out information that is useless, and plug in stuff that is useful. Lucky you, you have other bodies to practice vitals on! Your all ready at work caring for loving people; I have to wait to be hired first. Your ahead of the game!

    Renee Williams hit everything pertaining to marriage on the head, with a sledgehammer :-)
  6. by   JMP
    In reference to above quote......Mario.......please........tell us........ are you the single guy looking for a date........or are you the married guy with a wifey who wants a new computer, as you posted under the general nursing discussion list? You gotta clear this up Mario! Many of us are now very curious.................
  7. by   reddixon
    I doubt if it is a trend in nursing--it is just a trend in the world at large. I think since women are out there working and able to be self sufficient they have more opportunity to leave a relationship if they are unhappy and many men are still threatened by a woman being financially independant. I think suvival depends more on the relationship than on the careers of the people involved. My husband and I are doing great. I am a night shift nurse and he took a job in his career as a night shift worker too to our schedules would be similar. Even when he was a day worker though, I work 3-4 twelve hour shifts a week so we still had the rest of the week together. things can always be worked out but I would sure discuss all the potential problems in advance so you are prepared for them. Good luck.
  8. by   shay
    I know lots of nurses who are divorced, however, it isn't related to their careers so much as it's related to the SLIMEBALLS they married!!!

    I do think that these women had that codependent thing going on when they married these guys, then got over it and kicked them to the curb.

    I personally have seen my marriage grow stronger because of my career. Hubby very supportive, lets me cry on his shoulder after a bad day, understands if my body is throbbing in pain too much to clean the house. He is a darling and a true gem. But then again, I knew that, which is why I SNAPPED HIM UP!!

    I dunno....I'm with the crowd that thinks it's not the career, it's the man/woman these nurses are married to that 'stresses' the marriage and makes it break up.
  9. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by shay
    I know lots of nurses who are divorced, however, it isn't related to their careers so much as it's related to the SLIMEBALLS they married!!!
    I believe it's the caretaker in all of us (nurses). Gotta go find ourselves someone we can fix, nurture, and take care of.

    Heather
  10. by   prn nurse
    I find them boring. And pedantic. And neurotic. Two egoists who've created alter-ego scribes to enable them to enlighten the rest of us of their every unchecked thought.
    Mar: Were you trying to describe "Rites of Passage?"
    The very best line on this thread is the one about M & M in bed , screeching out their own names !!!!!! Good Shot !
  11. by   micro
    like I really care.....
    I am what I am
    i thread how i want and have from the start.....
    i ain't perfect and you ain't either.......
    and i ain't thirdpersonning here either.....but i can and i will again.....

    will PM this also.....

    micro is micro because.......check out the threads i have not been quiet about it.....
    prn nurse is prn nurse because ________chooses not to use real name on threads........that is k' by me.....(wait was that third person) micro

    and so in closing as micro has frankly seen enough of this boring, pedantic, neurotic behaviors of those that do not allow for any differences in others.................

    but if any of you please find micro's writings boring, pedantic, egocentrical, eccentric, neurotic or anything else that goes against your palate.........please press ignore and never and micro means never read anything posted from micro again.........

    but quit dissing me all over the threads...........it is not cool.........

    a diss is a diss.............:chuckle :chuckle :imbar :roll :roll :roll
  12. by   kids
    While I genuinely like both M & M, and do at times find their outlooks refreshing...I do enjoy being made to 'think' now and then...

    But...

    Anymore I just skim their posts for relevance and move on.
  13. by   micro
    Originally posted by micro

    I am what I am
    i thread how i want and have from the start.....
    i ain't perfect and you ain't either.......
    and i ain't thirdpersonning...but i can and i will again.....
    will PM this also.....
    micro is micro because.......check out the threads i have not been quiet about it.....
    prn nurse is prn nurse because ________chooses not to use real name on threads........that is k' by me.....(wait was that third person)
    and so in closing as micro has frankly seen enough of this boring, pedantic, neurotic behaviors of those that do not allow for any differences in others.................
    but if any of you please find micro's writings boring, pedantic, egocentrical, eccentric, neurotic or anything else that goes against your palate.........please press ignore and never and micro means never read anything posted from micro again.........
    but quit dissing me all over the threads...........it is not cool.........
    a diss is a diss............
    [SIZE=3]

    kids-r-fun...........or something like thatand to all this will also be PM'd.............
    like get a clue........................
    come on folks...........we are all on this earth together..........
    this is the same kind of intellect that we deal with on the floor when we talk about nurses eating their young, old, males, females and each other............
    and I repeat..........kids-r-fun..........this will be PM'd to you
    micro:kiss :blushkiss :roll :roll :roll :stone
    Last edit by micro on Apr 21, '02

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