Divorce And Affairs????

BrandyBSN · Mar 24, 2002

Micro - I really dont think that JMP, Heather, or anyone else was trying to offend you. You just have a very unique style of writing that is all your own. It is interesting to read, but it is definately "different". Keep in mind that "different" is not a negative thing at all! We are all different in our own ways. I find that your postings in 3rd person very interesting, as I am sure many of the rest of the posters here do. I know that you are normally a very nice loving poster, so I can see that JMPs post just "hit" you the wrong way. Just try to take a deep breath, and relax :) We all think you are neat, in your own unique way :) Diversity is what makes this BB so interesting. Keep posting what you are thinking, and we will keep reading :) No one is against you here :)

Mario - you are definately in a world of your own :) But I am so glad that you take the time to share a little piece of that world with us! It is great to get different perspectives from those who see the world at a completely different angle. Its definately not a bad thing :) There are many Mario "groupies" who seek out your posts because they are always so interesting! Granted, you already knew that :)

Please play nice folks!

Brandy

micro, RN · Mar 24, 2002

JMP, Gee.......scarey.........thanks yet again.............

Mario............you are right multiple postings.........oh, well;)oops, wasn't sticking up for you.......

their quirky postings just hit a temper trigger in me.....gee, duh.....we couldn't tell hehehehehehehehe

obheather if out of line in anyway here.........micro says heck.......

Brandy..........yes, I did get ticked off and the more i wrote the more I wrote.............micro not micro in writing......thx

but to end this tirade from micro(JMP says I am scarey0000000 and need psychiatric help) give me a break!

JMP come sit down on your own psych. couch...........

report me to the moderator.....report away.........

all that I am saying(you are right Mario;).........i do get multiple

just this folks...............referring you to netiquette written by Betts

netiquette on this bb/great thread and thoughts.......like think before you type.........

micro will go and reread now

rachaelm4 · Mar 24, 2002

I WAS SUPRISED TO SEE ALL THE REPLIES! THANKS TO EVERYONE. JUST FOR EVERYONE'S INFORMATION, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HUSBAND IS GREAT AND HE IS ABOUT THE MOST SUPPORTIVE SPOUSE YOU COULD HAVE, AND I THANK GOD FOR BRING HIM INTO MY LIFE EVERYDAY!:kiss

THIS THREAD WAS VERY ENLIGHTENING TO SAY THE LEAST. I HAVE LEARNED THAT MY MARRIAGE ALTHOUGH STRESS BEYOND BELIEF ISN'T BAD. WE SOMETIMES HAVE DIFFUCLTY EXPRESSING OURSELVES WHEN WE ARE SLEEP DEPRIVED, AND WHEN LIFE IS BEATING US INTO THE GROUND. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR WORDS OF ADVISE AND ALL THE PRAYERS:) :)

mustangsheba · Mar 24, 2002

Mario, you silver-tongued devil, you. Just because we have been divorced doesn't make us retreads. The man I was married to when I was in nursing school was a college grad, had a good job, and an enviable life style, nevertheless, for some reason, he was threatened by my getting a degree. We didn't make it. I waited until my daughter graduated high school before I started nursing school, which gave me a lot more flexibility in my choices. Nursing school is hard, especially if you have children and an unsupportive husband. Something has to give. I would recommend sitting down with your spouse and children and working out a plan to deal with problems before they arise. You might want to include a counselor. Write it down. Laugh a lot.

micro, RN · Mar 24, 2002

life beating you into the ground.......boy can I relate.......but i just get a bigger sledge hammer(;)just kidding)

you can do nursing school and even work parttime(if you need), but then adding children into the mix.....if you can not work......that would be ideal.......it is tough but feasible.....nursing school that is.....

my husband and I are dealing with this the other way around this couple of years.........he states...gee if i knew then what you were going through like I know now..........

life.....what a kicker......... :) :)

k' micro back on.........please look to new thread.......and I will attempt to stop third person talking if I can break myself.......there is a book in it......

but i digress yet again.....

as to my diatribe(chk splg)...............I apologize to the moderators of this great bb, I apologize to heather and JMP, etc. etc. etc. and on and on.........Brandy you are great.........

this i will state:

I have learned that sometimes when I am angry, I am entitled to be angry.........but am not entitled to be cruel!

or dumb

or bandwith hogging

JMP...........think whatever you want.........but already seeing a shrink.....or maybe I am not........and like maybe I do or maybe I don't need to.....................just do a favor.........think before you type, just like I have had to rethink.............cause words come easily but the rethink doesn't.........

______________________________________

I have learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.......

lol to all,

micro is a cool middle aged broad..........

with just a couple quirks.........gotta love the quirks.........

laugh cause I wanna, cry when I wanna, angry if i wanna, but not cruel.........

what the world needs now is more love and respect of others...........

___________________________________________

live4today, RN · Mar 25, 2002

Originally posted by clintn91180
So far a lot of the best marriages I have seen are where the husband and wife are both nurses. I was just wondering if anybody else had noticed that. It seems reasonable to me, since a lot of people tell me that it's hard for people in the medical field to relate to people that aren't and vice versa. One day when I finally get married, I think it would cool if the girl at least works somewhere in the medical field, that way me might be able relate to each other's problems better. Besides I would like to do the travel nursing for a while, and it would be nice to be able to go together. Just my opinions

My first spouse was no where close to knowing anything about the medical field, so he was as nonsupportive as a toothpick in our marriage! :rolleyes:

My current husband is a nurse, just like me, and he knows a hell of a lot more than I do too because he is military trained! Hoo-ah! He is sooooooo supportive of anything I want to do whether it is in nursing or something else. He's 12 years younger than me, so maybe that accounts for his OPEN MIND! :chuckle

Seriously though, I would never again marry someone who wasn't supportive of me...IF something were to happen to this husband, that is! :chuckle

Whomever you choose to marry, make sure he/she is very supportive of whatever you do, otherwise, you may be among the divorce stats one day!

babs_rn · Mar 25, 2002

Jimineez!! boy did THIS one get off topic or WHAT???

lol

Babs

maikranz · Mar 25, 2002

Originally posted by babs_rn
Jimineez!! boy did THIS one get off topic or WHAT???

lol
Babs

AGREE!!! It went from D-I-V-O-R-C-E to I haven't a clue!! LOL

Mario, if you weren't young enough to date my

daughter (she's 24.5)...... and I am Italian!

I am still single 9 years after my spouse of ~16 years departed for an OLDER woman. I have not dated (but have several men friends), mostly because of the kids, but now, they're older and in college. Where are all the nice guys????????

cbs3143 · Mar 26, 2002

I don't believe that a career in nursing is inherently bad for a marriage. You need to have a relationship that is mutually supportive, and to respect each other for who you are and for who you may become. My wife and I have been married for over 24 years, and started our lives together shortly before we both attended nursing school. It was a bit rough seeing each other all day every day, and then going home with each other at the end of the day. Our first child was born during the summer between our first and second years of school. There was a fair amount of stress on our marriage, but it made us stronger rather than weaker. Your husband sounds supportive by your initial post.

It will be difficult for both of you, but if you work at the small things every day, or as often as you can, you'll come through nursing school with a spouse who is not only proud of you, but proud of himself for what he was able to do to help you. My mother-in-law is a recently retired nurse, and my brother and his wife met and maried in nursing school. It does help to have relatives that understand why you aren't there for every other holiday, or why a birthday celebration is two days early or late.

I hope that your nursing career will be blessed with a supportive and loving spouse as mine has been. I don't know the statistics on nurse divorces, but I have read the theory that nurturing people are sometimes attracted to people who need to be nurtured, and those people may not be very supportive in return.

I have not known a lot of divorced nurses, but I've worked with essentially the same 50 or so people for the past 20 years, and they have been pretty stable in their marriages. Hang in there and don't think that you'll be in trouble with your husband just because you are going to be a nurse.

Chuck

staciw · Apr 2, 2002

You all are making me very sad. I am 28 y.o. and have been a nurse for 6 years. I have never been married. I lived with my ex boyfriend throughout nursing school and we broke up my last semester of school. No it was not nursing, he couldn't have been more proud of me, it was the fact that he didn't take his medication for his Manic Depression.

Now I am living with a wonderful man. He is an EMT and going to school to become a paramedic. Everyone always thinks that nurses have the funny schedules but it's not me with the funny schedule. I work 7:00 am to 4:30 pm with every other friday off. I had to fight my boss but I managed to get my fridays off in sync with my boyfriends weekends off. Therefore we spend a great weekend together. He normally works 3 pm to 11:30 pm so yeah I don't see him every night but that is okay because when I do see him we spend quality time together. It's not the quantity, its the quality. Unfortunately, what I see with married couples around me is that they don't even spend 5 minutes to say how are you and how was your day.

Maybe I am lucky because I grew up with 2 parents who have been together since they were 14 and 15 and they still act like they just met and are having their first love. Never has it been easy for them but they have always communicated and divorce has never been an option. They are the happiest couple I have ever seen...and they have been married for 31 years. :)

Please don't blame this profession for you marital breakups....no matter what if it was meant to happen it would have anyway. I hope that all of you who have had this hardship will find the love that my parents have and that I have found. Nothing in the world could be better. But one thing I must say is that relationships are a job...You can't be "too tired" from work to deal with your relationship when you get home.

Wishing you happier times!

Staci

Agnus · Apr 2, 2002

I'm blessed with a hubby who saw my going to nuring school as an investment that will benefit us both.

He gets on guys who want out of a marriage jsut because they can't hang through the changes that nursing school brings into thier life. Poor baby he has to wash some dishes or vacuum or cook his own dinner because his wife is building a life for them both.

Mind you this is a guy who wanted a mom to take care of him. But he figured I would be more vauable as a caregiver to him, especially as he aged if I were a nurse.

The first day of school they made us make out a schedule for ourselves as to how we were going to handle our lives thourgh school. We were required to schedule in time every week to spend with our spouse and time with our kids. We had to trun it in. I remember on mine I had some time secheduled to prepare something special for a great nite of sex and then I scheduled the nite of sex on a friday night when the stress was less. Imagine turning in such an assignment to teacher you don't know with that on it! But you know it was exactly what they were looking for. They were looking for time that would be meaningful to me and my spouse. For someone else it might be something different.

mario_ragucci · Apr 2, 2002

Originally posted by BrandyBSN
Mario - you are definately in a world of your own :) But I am so glad that you take the time to share a little piece of that world with us!
Brandy

Believe it or not, I breath the same air you breath, and make energy from carbohydrates, proteins and lipids just like the rest of the world. I'm just another part of your world, and I'm happy to be a part of it:kiss