Disrespectful co-workers

[hollyberry678]

Hi,

I am a support staff person for a very busy hospital unit. I worked really hard tonight and went above and beyond to coordinate things at the desk, above what I am supposed to do. I had a 1/2 hour break, and a 10 min break ONLY the entire night. Then, a nurse 'challenges' me on something I very diligently did (I could have blown it off if I were lazy) and starts telling me 'I dont see how it can be THIS, why didn't you TELL me before? She continues to berate me like this very loudly in front of everyone at the desk at change of shift. And the fact is, I was right, but even if I weren't, she could just change it, as she is the RN, and treat me nicer.

As well, the oncoming person in my job was somewhat rude, as I was just finishing up sme things, and she is like 'what's this-- picking something up' Oh, I havent finished yet..ect. I am always nice to her in themornings no matter what.

How do you deal with people like this effectively? I was/am upset...I told thenurse, 'Look you dont have to talk to me like that' in front of everyone, but I dont want to be seen as mean either.

[TazziRN, RN]

You deal with it effectively by waiting until you're calmer, then request quietly to meet with her alone. You then tell her "When you did this, I felt ----. I did not deserve to be treated that way, and I insist that in the future, if you have a problem with my work that you approach me in private."

[Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN]

The horrible truth is there is always one of those in every hospital in every state and countryI worked with one just like that and as a agency nurse I wrote it up and gave copies to my boss and they sent copies to the nurse manager. When I went to work at the same place I would just turn around and walk into the managers office and deal with her in there with the manager there. after about 10 years of it I would flip her off and go into the break room because she had done to everyone and the manager would toss her write-ups in the trash. She finally retired,the yeller I mean. I still don't miss her.

[Roy Fokker, BSN, RN]

Please doNOT put up with public abuse!

It's perfectly OK to say "I see we have a disagreement/problem - can we please discuss this in private?"

The first response a rude person is going to come up with is "I don't have the time" to which I always respond with "I don't have time to listen to inappropriate criticism".

I may very well have screwed up and made a mistake - but there is a time, place and manner of addressing it! I don't mind criticism - infact, I welcome it - every mistake is a path to improvement.

But I DO expect to be treated appropriately.

In simple terms : "Praise in public, criticize in private".

cheers,

[Alexsys]

You handled it a lot nicer than I would have. I know how to tell someone off without having to raise my voice. So I say, kudos to you

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Do not worry about appearing "mean" when you're standing up for yourself.

I think what you said was appropriate. During those kinds of interactions you can get up and say "this is not an appropriate time and place" and simply turn your back and walk calmly away. Later you can discuss the situation face to face in private. The person usually is going to focus on what they did so resolve that and then say "now about how you made me feel in the nursing station."

Please follow up with this person the next time you see him/her because if you don't, you've given them permission to do it again. Talk in private, in a friendly non-confrontational way.

Standing up for yourself, confronting bad behavior doesn't equate with being "mean".

Good luck.

[AfloydRN, BSN, RN]

Well, sorry about that, but it's nice to know that rude people exsist everywhere, not just my unit. I have had the exact same experience w/ one particular nurse as well. The thing is, shes ugly to everyone, not just me. I try not to take it personally and to remember something my mother told me when I was young- People who are mean and rude are usually the same people who have a horrible home life. Don't take it personal and be glad for the wonderful life you have @ home.