Disgusted with nursing career

[Blue4me2]

So here I sit almost two years after my graduationfrom nursing school unhappy and stressed. Due to the economic state of our country I was only able to secure employment in psychiatric nursing. I am now experiencing the repercussions of this. I feel totally inadequate as a nurse, I can deescalate, practice active listening and communicate effectively but my total lack of ability performing an adequate physical assessment sickens me. I tried after my first year to gain employment on a medical unit and even had afew interviews but never received an employment offer. I have zero time between work and school (working on BSN) to review and practice my physical assessment skills. When we occasionally get a patient that is somewhat medically unstable I am often at a loss for even the most basic nursing interventions. I feel as thoughI spent eighteen thousand dollars on an education I am not even thoroughly utilizing. After some minor errors in nursing judgment that caused no harm whatsoever to my patients I either want to work a desk position or leave nursing altogether. I went into this profession not for the money but to truly makea difference in the lives of others and I feel I am not doing this. I am tired of the inadequate orientations and training. I am tired of nurse managers who only want to point out what you did wrong and overlook all the good you do. Iam tired of co-workers berating me and talking behind my back. I am tired of seeing nurses who should have left the profession years ago intentionally being verbally and physically cruel to patients who are alone, mentally ill and defenseless.

I have truly wanted to be a nurse for all of my life. I am now forty-one years old and I am a nurse like I always wanted to be; yet I am sad and heartbroken over the state of my short career and the nursing profession in general. I no longer want to be a nurse. I am no longer proud to be a nurse. I have wasted years of my life attending school to work in a profession that leaves me feeling poorly about myself and my abilities. In reality I should have seen this coming while in nursing school with the instructors who were always quick to point out your flaws and ignore your successes. I could be an outstanding nurse if giving the right training I might even gain an ounce of the self-esteem that I left behind somewhere in the first year of nursing school. I am at a loss as to what to do now. Most insurance companies want nurses who have acute care experience and they do not mean acute psychiatric care trust me. So where does one go with such a limited nursing background? Please do not suggest school. I am so sick ofschool and just the few classes I have taken towards my BSN have left me nauseated. I really do not want a BSN but feel that not getting one would limit my employment options even further. I do not want any further education especially in nursing. I am tired of wasting my money and time on a profession that is slowly losing sight of its historical foundations and ethics.

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

I feel totally inadequate as a nurse, I can deescalate, practice active listening and communicate effectively but my total lack of ability performing an adequate physical assessment sickens me.

I'm surprised, because psych patients don't leave their medical problems at the door when they check in. Granted, the medical acuity of your patients may not rival a med/surg floor, but there's no reason why you couldn't be performing physical asserressments, working on interventions and honing your skills each and every shift. I'm not implying that you haven't tried...you'll get less practice on some days than others due to codes and census, but it can be done if you keep at it.

But you are clearly unhappy with your current situation and seem driven towards finding an acute care medical nursing job.

If you are trying to get into acute care medical, try to find a psych-medical unit. These are units with patients with both significant psych and medical issues, and you can rack up both acute care medical experience while continuing to accrue acute care psych experience. It may be the easiest route for you to transition into acute care medical nursing, since you have a psych background.

Option 2 would be to take a refresher course with a clinical component to sharpen your skills, and then try applying for medical nursing jobs. Granted, you may not land in a hospital right away and have to start off in LTAC (long-term acute care) or a SNF. But you can learn a hell of a lot in either LTAC or SNF, and they are more open when it comes to candidates.

I will warn you though...keep in mind that in ANY nursing specialty, you will find coworkers who are bitter and who take it out on the patients/coworkers/world. Such attitudes are not exclusive to psych; don't think they don't exist on the med/surg floor or L&D or ICU or wherever, because they do.

Or perhaps your unhappiness means that you need a break from the profession as a whole.

You could always step away from nursing entirely and come back in and when you are ready. Maybe a week away, maybe a month, maybe a year, maybe never. That is your call. Though it's uncertain what the job market will be like in the future and what difficulty if any you may have in coming back into the profession, so there's a risk in doing that. But only you can decide if the risk is worth it.

If you heart isn't in school now, see if postponing school is an option. No sense in making yourself miserable with school if you don't have to be.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do...hopefully you will find your happiness, be it in nursing or elsewhere.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Sometimes it is what it is, and psych nursing is not easy. It takes at least a year of experience to open other doors to other options in nursing, and to something that you may like better.

It is tough to say the least to feel overwhelmed. Too many patients, a care team that is not ideal, and pressures to pay off loans all equate a great deal of stress. Add a BSN program to that, and can be a receipe for disaster.

Best of luck in whatever your decisions are, If you choose to take a little break from school that may not be a bad thing, maybe attempt to get a per diem job in Med Surg, the ER, or even home health or hospice. It would give you a different perspective perhaps.

[MotherRN]

One of my clinical mates in nursing school had only a few credits left to complete a public health major from the local 4 year college, so she went back to finish her Bachelors and graduated. Then she moved. Next thing I know, she's posted pics on facebook of her graduation from a public health masters degree-epidemiology. Now she works in public health at a health department, and is very happy.

I guess my point is you could tweek your school plans to become degreed in another allied health field. Just a thought.

[Teamlester]

I have been a nurse for 2 years, started out in home health but decided a year ago to try a SNF, i have learned so much! Assessments have been easier and I really like my residents. I work with trachs, wound vacs, lots of medications and one on one with my residents. Just got full time position starting in June, i am honored. Sure I have gone home in tears a few times, I work nights but it is ok...i am getting better at nursing.

[engr]

I am writing this reply to hopefully cheer you up. Your story is so similar to mine that I felt compelled to reply. I graduated in 1994 with extremely high hopes in nursing. When I graduated, the economic climate was even worse then it is now! Experienced nurses jobs were being slashed and most places did not even want to talk to new grads. However, I got a full time job through a friend at Trenton Psychiatric Hospital. It was a terrible place. I remember seeing nurses scream at patients. I fell incredibly inadequate at my assessment skills. I decided to make the best of it and be grateful for being able to support my family financially. To make myself feel better sometimes I would joke about how I made about ten dollars more an hour compared to the princesses on a med-surg floor. I often practiced my assessments on my patients and kept up on my reading. I asked to be transferred to the psych-medical unit. I got a little more clinical skills hanging IVs, feeding tubes, etc. About two years down the line, I was hired in a subacute unit as a IV nurse. In addition, I volunteered to be their wound nurse. I recieved a little more training. Finally, I was asked to take a home care job. I did this for about 14 years. As I am speaking, I have been a nurse for over twenty years. I am one class away from getting my master's and hope to start teaching. I would have to say that our expectations are great when we get out of school but we have to work with what we are given. I always try to volunteer for any classes available and training. Appear eager! It is hard the first couple of years.

[hope3456, ASN, RN]

This might not be the advice you want to hear, but I'd suggest put in a year in pychriatric nursing and then try again to get the acute care job you seem to want.

Or make the best out of where you are now. Mental health nursing is "real" nursing, too. If you've never worked on a medical unit, how do you even know you'd like it better? I've worked on a med/surg floor, and it's not some magical world that produces superhuman nurses. It's just a job. Nursing really, really needs to quit with this belief that the only place that produces competent, well-rounded nurses is the hospital.

If you really can't stand your current job, try thinking outside the box. I know you said youve been applying around, but have you tried "non-traditional" nursing jobs? Jails, dialysis clinics, rehab facilities and nursing homes all hire RNs. Maybe you'll find something that's a better fit.

You make a great point Brandon, New RN's have to realize that not all the jobs are in hospitals. So do nursing schools and they need to start orienting people to other types of nursing.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Well Blue, get it together.

I enjoyed a couple of years practicing psych after a gazillion years in step down and ICU.

Nursing is what YOU make of it.

If you feel your physical assessment skills are lacking.. there are many options to educate YOURSELF.

Anything from You Tube.. to assessing your family or dog! I had no idea where peripheral pulses were until I found them on myself.

\

Get it TOGETHER! Use your hard earned degree.

[kcochrane]

Old nurse who does believe nursing was my calling. As long as one is realistic to the negatives of nursing it is not bad to believe you were meant to be a nurse and that you have a gift for it. :) But you also have to have common sense and some intelligence too.

Anyways, OP it is hard sometimes when you do feel you are not where you wanted to be. But you have to look at the good you are doing in mental health nursing and the lives you are touching. As someone who suffered with depression and anxiety for a few years, having a doctor and nurses who believed me when I said I needed help and supported me, kept me above ground. You are saving lifes and impacting people in a different way than you originally thought you would. You do matter and you do make a difference. To people like me, you are a godsend. Now if you don't feel this is your nitch, than keep looking and keep applying. But never, never underestimated the impact you have right now. Do the best you can as you wait for the position you want. The economy will pick up and believe me, your lack of acute experience will not matter one bit.

[Quit Floating Me, BSN, RN]

I couldn't even finish reading this.