Difficult family members/visitors

[anewday]

How do you all deal with these type of people? Some of them are nothing but trouble. I am a student but work as an CNA and I have seriously had it with a lot of these family members. I hear it only gets worse when you become a nurse. Some of them are so disgusting and disrespectful that it is hard to believe that people like this actually exist in this world. I mean really I believe some of these people are mentally ill seriously! We do back breaking work so that their loved one can get well and they are not even appreciative of that. They can be so condescending and demeaning to us. I really wished that visiting rules could be tightened up. It seems like the must disgusting ones stay in there for hours upon hours, making it difficult to get our job done. I don't understand why these people can't be required to step out of the room when we go in to provide care. Nine times out of ten the patient is fine. It is the family/visitors that come and stir up crap. Do we have to even interact with them? When I walk in to the patients room I usually greet everyone who is in there. I am to the point where from now on I will address the patient only, do what I have to do and get out. Any crap they try to throw at me I will simply refer them to the charge nurse or management. I am at my witts end There is so much stress on the job and these people do nothing but add unnecessary stress to what we do. ugggggg. Please help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[damrcngrl95]

So over the weekend I'm charting and a woman walks up to the nurses station holding a bunch of flowers. As I look up and smile and acknowledge her she stuffs the flowers three inches from my face and barks "vase!"

I would have been tempted to have told her, "No, those are flowers not a vase." and then smiled at her like she was crazy.

[bluemorningglory]

I honestly feel that hospitals should go back to strict visiting hours(unless the patient is a child)....easier for the patient and easier for the nursing staff

[JBudd, MSN]

I honestly feel that hospitals should go back to strict visiting hours(unless the patient is a child)....easier for the patient and easier for the nursing staff

On the surface, yeah, that would be so nice. But only for us. The time I could stay with my late husband when he was in with CA, tended to be late evening into the night (when someone was with my kids). He rested better when I was there, able to relax. Did try not to be the difficult family one though, they all knew me, it was my old floor.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i honestly feel that hospitals should go back to strict visiting hours(unless the patient is a child)....easier for the patient and easier for the nursing staff

as a nurse, i have to tell you that's not where the industry is headed.

as a patient, though, i love your idea! the worst part of my week-long hospitalization was the roommate's visitors!

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

so over the weekend i'm charting and a woman walks up to the nurses station holding a bunch of flowers. as i look up and smile and acknowledge her she stuffs the flowers three inches from my face and barks "vase!"

your infection control people let you have flowers and plants in patient care areas? i haven't seen that in real hospitals in years -- the documentation on pathogens (soil and water) is overwhelming.

[Little Miss Coffee]

It's sad that people feel they are entitled to be this way.

To be sure, there are those who are just nasty individuals. I guess that if you're a floor nurse, there will always be someone to make your life miserable, so the only way to get relief from them is to seek support from your trusted coworkers, your friends, and your family...and here

Many people have the attitude that nurses (and most medial personnel) don't really care, that all of medicine is just a money-making sham. This is wrong, but it has to be proven wrong over and over and over to every single person who thinks this way. Do this and might maybe get one individual to change his or her opinion of nurses. Very upsetting.

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

If this is all a result of stress, then why didn't people act this way in public 20 years ago? Don't kid yourself that there wasn't stess back then, too. Rudeness and selfishness seem to have become acceptable in public places of all sorts these days. I think most of us who have been in the profession for a few years are well able to tell when a patient and family are truly stressed and scared, and we go out of our way to make them more comfortable. But I see more and more people come in with the attitude that they are the only ones who matter. The rules shouldn't apply to them. And they see nurses, store clerks, waitresses, etc. as targets. "I don't like it and you're gonna do it my way or else."

I hear more and more people claiming they have "anger management problems." But they're not ashamed--their attitude is one of bragging about it. And they know they can get away with it. Funny how they're able to control their anger when faced with somebody who can beat the c--p out of them.

I've heard the same excuse used for doctors. "Well, Dr X shouldn't have thrown that chart down the hall, but you know he's under a lot of stress. So go pick it up and put it back together." I've never seen a nurse scream and throw a chart. The nurse knows he or she will be in major trouble. The doctor knows nothing much will happen to him. Just so, the patients we are talking about here (NOT the stressed and scared ones) know that nothing will happen to them--instead the "bad" employee will be scolded and the hospital will fall all over itself apologizing and giving special privileges. We have just taught these people that bad behavior will be rewarded.

Exactly. You hit the nail on the head

And I disagree with the poster who said they don't do this at McDonalds ..... they do.

And also can we add ..... some visitors behave badly because they are bored /hungry /thirsty /tired.

The older generations knew that they might be bored /hungry /thirsty /tired when they came to visit in hospital and they planned for it.

Novel idea isn't it?

Eating and drinking before coming ....bringing a book.

Planning ahead ...bringing some snacks and personal medication in their handbags and a water bottle.

Accepting the day will be a long one ... being mentally prepared.

Arranging their transport in advance.

Arranging for any grandchildren they might be looking after to go somewhere else before coming into the hospital

This is what our older family members do and we rarely have an issue with them

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

it's sad that people feel they are entitled to be this way.

to be sure, there are those who are just nasty individuals. i guess that if you're a floor nurse, there will always be someone to make your life miserable, so the only way to get relief from them is to seek support from your trusted coworkers, your friends, and your family...and here

many people have the attitude that nurses (and most medial personnel) don't really care, that all of medicine is just a money-making sham. this is wrong, but it has to be proven wrong over and over and over to every single person who thinks this way. do this and might maybe get one individual to change his or her opinion of nurses. very upsetting.

money making sham or money pit, health care has gotten to be that way in recent years. we live and die according to press-gainey. many nurses, sadly, just don't care. they're in it to get their two years of icu experience so they can get into anesthesia school, or for the tuition reimbursement so they can go to np school. i never thought i'd see the day when the doctors seem to care more than many of the nurses, but there it is.

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

money making sham or money pit, health care has gotten to be that way in recent years. we live and die according to press-gainey. many nurses, sadly, just don't care. they're in it to get their two years of icu experience so they can get into anesthesia school, or for the tuition reimbursement so they can go to np school. i never thought i'd see the day when the doctors seem to care more than many of the nurses, but there it is.

agree

i seen many nurses who are competent and efficient but whom don't seem to really care about their patients.

they are empathetic but not much real kindness evident.

they come to work and do all that they think they have to do ....except feel the responsibility they should have for giving the patient the best outcome possible.

patients pick up on it .... they get scared when they don't feel their nurses don't care enough to take overall responsibility for their progress and journey through the system.

and they feel a disconnect when their nurses are not even kind to them...this is when they feel people don't care

[colddeadpeople]

Educated yes, professionals, no.

"Professionals" have more control over their lives and decisions. Nurses are simply tools of labor.

Professionals ask for and receive more help, consults, etc.

Nurses tolerate lousy conditions.

Professionals are accountable for their own time and take completely independent actions based upon their background and education.

Nurses take orders.

Nurses punch a clock and may receive lunch and meal breaks.

It's truly a misnomer.

And this is not meant as an insult to the "profession."