Confession is Good for the Soul - page 2

I am sitting here today trying to make sense of the world. I left home when I was 18 and ended up in the military as a way to pay for college. I also knew I wanted to work in health care (M*A*S*H... Read More

  1. by   hbscott
    Quote from mattsmom81
    You sound like you are 'stuck' , but you read like an intelligent and successful person....who is smart enough to cut his losses and move on with his life...if you're willing to do the internal work to move past your hurts.

    Best wishes.
    I am stuck as I try to reconcile my experience with my expectations from the nursing profession. As I said before I expected better from nursing and the "reality shock" was pretty severe as you can tell. I am doing the internal work but as another poster noted, it is time to move on. It seems that the answer is to realize that nursing is not different from any other profession. There are good nurses and there are bad nurses. And when you are in the minority the bad nurses can really take advantage of you if you let them. I fought back and that course of action took me out of nursing.
    As noted earlier this is an exercise for closure.
    -HBS
  2. by   hbscott
    Quote from zenman
    The past is behind you. Understand? Forgive and get on with it. You're wasting too much time on it. Live like you don't have much time left.
    Good point. I am such an "intellectual" that sometimes my brain gets stuck in problem solving mode. As you say, forgive and move on is the right thing to do unless one is committed to solving a particular problem.

    As you can see this was a problem I could not solve. Human nature is what it is and even nurses are susceptible to the human condition.

    -HBS
  3. by   hbscott
    Quote from nightngale1998
    quote:----- Having entered nursing, after many years in the business world, I too expected more and was disapointed. Oh well...
    Exactly! But as well all know "effective coping" is essential to dealing with those disappointments and other such issues. Obviously having a realistic expectation of what nursing was (and is) helps a great deal.

    -HBS
  4. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from hbscott
    Good point. I am such an "intellectual" that sometimes my brain gets stuck in problem solving mode. As you say, forgive and move on is the right thing to do unless one is committed to solving a particular problem.

    As you can see this was a problem I could not solve. Human nature is what it is and even nurses are susceptible to the human condition.

    -HBS
    as an intellectual, rechannel that mode of thinking to understanding the facetious and ignorant aspects of man and once you accept those very unbecoming traits that too many possess, you'll automatically realize that that particular problem will never be solved. it is literally the nature of the 'beast'. not pleasant but oh so true. furthermore, speaking for myself, i truly resent the image(s) that we are held to, i.e., the ever so compassionate, nurturing, self-sacrificing soul that is beyond reproach; i truly, truly resent it....it just so contradicts the fallibility of human nature. so hb, if you can accept (not to be mistaken for embrace) that nurses, priests, truckdrivers, garbage collectors, secretaries....we're all the same... we're human, nothing more or nothing less, then i think expectations fade and hopefully, will succumb to a more objective, realistic and subsequently, a more peaceful truth.
  5. by   Tweety
    I think you're on the right track for healing. Your acknowledging it, talking about it, doing positive things (working in the garden), and moving on. It doesn't have to be more than that. All you need now is time.

    I've had a lot bitter disappointments in my life in dealing with the human race as well. Every now then it's there and probably will never leave. But it doesn't have to affect the way I live my life today as I've moved on. I'm sure along the way my humaness has hurt other people as well.
  6. by   hbscott
    Thank you all for the constructive responses. I also believe that my emotional reaction to my nursing experience reflects the level of intimacy brought to the profession. In other words if we are injured (emotionally or physically) by a stranger or casual acquaintance we tend to "get over it" sooner. If we are hurt by someone or something we hold dear then the pain is more intense. That is what makes sense to me about this whole disappointment with nursing. Keeping expectations realistic is key.

    -HBS
  7. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Quote from hbscott
    Thank . That is what makes sense to me about this whole disappointment with nursing. Keeping expectations realistic is key.

    -HBS

    You said it all right here. Women, since the dawn of time, in many nations around the world, have struggled similarly and the successful ones have learned to adapt and overcome such adversities and unfairness. Many died trying. It's not just men who struggle in nursing---- when you assume a global viewpoint, you can then not feel so alone/isolated and angry. As intelligent as you are, you have it within you to overcome such adversity and get on with life. Keep up on your gardening and doing other things that bring pleasure and for your mental health's sake, MOVE ON. Best wishes.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on May 8, '04
  8. by   hbscott
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    Keep up on your gardening and doing other things that bring pleasure and for your mental health's sake, MOVE ON. Best wishes.
    You can tell from the size and quality of my flower garden just how much frustration I am dealing with. Nursing has been real good to my flower bed and my local nursery. And it is time to move on and make some history in advanced 3D diagnostic imaging! Look out world, here I come.



    -HBS
  9. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from hbscott
    You can tell from the size and quality of my flower garden just how much frustration I am dealing with. Nursing has been real good to my flower bed and my local nursery. And it is time to move on and make some history in advanced 3D diagnostic imaging! Look out world, here I come.



    -HBS
    if it's any consolation hb, nursing is not limited within the confines of a clinical facility; i've always perceived it to be a part of a ubiquitous setting, dictated by the people we care for and who care for us. we can always nurse others wherever we are. there will always be therapeutic outcomes...i can already see the results of your beautiful garden :chuckle .
  10. by   SmilingBluEyes
    put a pic of your garden here, i would LOVE to see it. I bet it's lovely.
  11. by   hbscott
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    put a pic of your garden here, i would LOVE to see it. I bet it's lovely.
    When I get my digital camera back from my daughter I will do just that!

  12. by   RN_Amy
    Quote from PeninsulaRN
    Aye, but I have encountered many nasty, hateful people outside of nursing over the years. Sometimes people in general just suck, regardless of their profession.

    Very well said... I agree!

    With my limited nursing experince, I am fast becoming away that I hate the general public (children under 15 excluded because they don't know any better!)..... I am bitter and jaded after 2 years!

    I am being proactive however and planning my next career... (in pharmacy hopefully!)... so I can huddle myself away and not have to deal with people that suck!
  13. by   live4today
    [font=lucida console]hbscott, there is one thing we all need to keep in mind as we walk this path of no return in life. people are people. what is in the heart comes out. sometimes what comes out is positive and embracing. sometimes what comes forth from each individual is negative and we want to separate ourselves from it. no matter what one does for a living, no matter what color, race, creed, ethnic group, or religion one belongs to...evil is as evil does, and evil comes from the heart. it's like saying we become what we eat. negative in...negative out. positive in...positive out. nurses weren't born nurses. nurses were born human beings and that is where their problem lies when it comes to their treatment of others.

    [font=lucida console]i'm a good nurse because i've been a nice person all my life. i have my downfalls at times, but generally wouldn't know how to stay evil if i tried. don't hate the profession for the people wearing the title who have treated you wrong. if they are nasty while working in their profession, they are nasty in their personal and private lives as well. just be glad all you had to do was work with them and not live with them.
    Last edit by live4today on May 8, '04 : Reason: misspelled words; left off title

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