Confession is Good for the Soul

[hbscott]

I am sitting here today trying to make sense of the world. I left home when I was 18 and ended up in the military as a way to pay for college. I also knew I wanted to work in health care (M*A*S*H was a favorite show of mine at the time) and I endeavored to do my best no matter how humble the task.

I had an opportunity to go to medical school but decided to get married instead and delayed going to college so I could have more money to set up a home. When the time came to pursue my "higher education" I decided to go to nursing school as I had grown to respect the CRNA's I had worked with as a surgical technician.

I gave nursing my best shot but soon found that the gender bias I encountered was so pervasive that there was little hope for me to fulfill my potential as so much energy was spent dealing with the negative stereotypes of a male nurse. It was exhausting to say the least.

So I left nursing and jumped into the IT field before the market IT "bubble" burst and quickly established myself as a "guru" of the highest order in health care information systems. When the IT sector became weak I remained gainfully employed as the IT sector in health care remained strong.

I am now working on my PhD and have just signed an employment contract for 3 years as a researcher in the development of a new diagnostic modality for cancer screening. I will be making $165,000.00 annually until this contract expires. I also have a good benefits package. After that, who knows? Anybody know a good tax attorney?

:)

Any way as I assume this new role and responsibility I am trying to bring to closure my bitterness towards nursing (the culture) and I find myself spending a lot of time working in the flower bed (gardening) in hopes that this therapeutic activity will bring the healing I need. But the bitterness lingers. There is an emotional wound that quite hasn't healed yet. I am trying to understand that.

So how does one heal the soul from such negativity? We all have had experiences that have embittered us in some way. How does one find forgiveness in a world that seems to embrace hatred? As they say confession is good for the soul and I hope this one will help me to move on.

-HBS

[mattsmom81]

Can't speak for other people but I have never tolerated sexual harassment and discrimination in any environment. I expected better from nursing and that was my mistake. I have learned to keep my expectations realistic. People behave badly in all professions and walks of life. Not all people mind you, but there those who will take narcissism to the extreme and exploit others when given the opportunity. Even in nursing.

-HBS

ESPECIALLY in nursing...because nurses function in such oppressive conditions they become dysfunctional in too many cases. Downtrodden, weary people can indeed behave very badly. Bad management also fosters more dysfunctional behavior by allowing the bad behavior to continue in too many cases..

I work with more and more nurses who treat their fellow nurses like dogs, either overtly, or covertly...writing them up behind their backs, etc....but are so codependent with patients and families that administration just LOVES them...and they get away with it. Just one dysfunction I see.

I too was surprised...thinking nursing was some kind of 'kinder gentler' profession. The key for me was learning how to spot the snakes in the grass and stay one step ahead of 'em. They are indeed everywhere in life.

[pdmt]

I was given some wonderful advice one time: That it's OK to get angry about something, but don't get bitter. Easier said than done.

I collect quotations, and one that I use sometimes for my email tag is ""We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." --Anais"

It would seem to me that what hurt you was that nursing was not what you wanted it to be -- rather, it was only being what it really was.

I believe that the difficulty lies in seeing things how they really are, without the cloak of our desires.

Hope this makes sense.