Chief complaints that made you laugh?

We had a guy who had everyone in the place rolling in the floor -- and this was in the paper. He'd lost his car and license d/t multiple DUIs, so he got a moped. Showed up in our ER all scraped up, covered in kudzu, because he got drunk again and this time fell off the moped. Not only was a GDAFO (got drunk and fell over) he started his own personal code GDAFOM -- got drunk and fell off moped. The article in the newspaper was hysterical.