Can't take the hospital drama anymore...hospice for me?

  1. 1
    Vent and request for advice:
    There is so much fighting, bickering, backstabbing, rudeness, hatefulness and just plain meanness at my hospital on my tele-medsurg floor that I just can't stand it anymore. This is my first job out of lpn school, and I am in school for my bsn. I've been there 1 year 8 months. I am thinking of going occ part time for hospital and full time for a hospice.

    I love hospital nursing, LOVE IT!! But the nurses I work with are so much like 6th grade. I don't want to leave the hospital, but I'm afraid if I don't, I'll have a nervous breakdown and not be able to finish school.

    So, have any of you left the hospital because of this? (going to another hospital is not an option, the next closest is a two hour drive away) And if so, will I really lose my skills andknowledge? Even if I still work part time there? And what about hospice? I deal with palliative pts all the time, and I really love it. I just don't want to leave the hospital because I need the experience. But I don't know how much more I can take.

    Any wise words would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you.
    vernRN likes this.

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  2. 16 Comments...

  3. 2
    yeah, if working with co-workers is a problem, hospice or home health are good options.
    vernRN and sparketteinok like this.
  4. 1
    If you can't take the present situation you will have a hard time of it unless you find a speciality like hospice, home health, advice nurse, etc. and stick with it. Hospital jobs are just not that easy to come by and most facilities are similar in how the workers act toward each other. Workers choose to be witchy toward each other. Nobody forces it on them, no matter how horrible the environment.
    vernRN likes this.
  5. 3
    Quote from sparketteinok
    Vent and request for advice:
    There is so much fighting, bickering, backstabbing, rudeness, hatefulness and just plain meanness at my hospital on my tele-medsurg floor that I just can't stand it anymore. This is my first job out of lpn school, and I am in school for my bsn. I've been there 1 year 8 months. I am thinking of going occ part time for hospital and full time for a hospice.

    I love hospital nursing, LOVE IT!! But the nurses I work with are so much like 6th grade. I don't want to leave the hospital, but I'm afraid if I don't, I'll have a nervous breakdown and not be able to finish school.

    So, have any of you left the hospital because of this? (going to another hospital is not an option, the next closest is a two hour drive away) And if so, will I really lose my skills andknowledge? Even if I still work part time there? And what about hospice? I deal with palliative pts all the time, and I really love it. I just don't want to leave the hospital because I need the experience. But I don't know how much more I can take.

    Any wise words would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you.
    I drive two hours every week to work in a hospital with it sounds like the same situation. Depending on the days of the week I have a different crew or seem to rotate with several crews different week. All crews have challenges that go with it. Not the work that needs to be completed that's always a challenge in itself, but that's a good challenge for me to keep pt and their families comfortable, skills, prioritize, and have a somewhat smooth shift. The politics & co-workers are always the biggest challenge for me.

    It's absolutely terrible and I'm a positive team player that is always trying to help if someone asks. I will ask others if they need help if I see they may be having a challenge. Some will talk and stab you in the back for helping them, or they won't ask but you are suppose to know at any givin time whether your busy or not do something for them. There is always a fine line. Your wrong if you do and your poop if you don't it just seems to be which way the wind blows. Some will try to sabatoge your every move and somehow manage to make you look like your the bad one. You sit down to chart and it never fails they will come over and start talking whether you respond to them or not. But when there may be a few down moments and you try to start a conversation they show little or no interest but I'm suppose to stop look them in the eye and respond back. You here statements she not approachable, shes not a team player, I will never understand that one. I guess to make them look good and me bad??? Life is too short!!! Another one I really despise if your the newbi (new hire or last one they hire even if its been a year and half)you get all the difficult patients, discharges, admits you name it they will pile it on. This is the co-workers and charge nurses not the management. If the newbi quits it goes to the next newbi up the ladder until they hire a new one to replace the one that quit. Or they don't hire someone because of the cut backs. The others (core group protect each other from this happening) They get out on time while you are there one to two hours later. Then they make comments I heard you were here quite late last shift what happened to you. Or I always get out on time. Another co-workers that punch out late causes us from getting a raise every year. An example, we are all suppose to clock out for breaks, they will clock in and out even if they don't take a break. Then when they are sitting around they will be the first to be complaining we don't even have time to take breaks but to management it looks like they are so the whole team is never going to get the CNA or RN ratio to pt straightened out we all desperately need because of all the cut backs. They will be the ones who gossip at the station verses spending time with their patient giving TLC or basic nursing care. They are also the one who will ignore the IV's beeping, call lights going off, vents beeping off, stating the aid will get it as they (CNA') can't keep their heads above water. Then the pts became incontinent and lye in their own stool or urine because someone didn't get there fast enough and then be upset that the aid calls them to have them help clean up the pt.. They are also the ones who will ***** about everything under the sun about what is wrong with the facility and their managers and then turn around and kiss the managers butt when they are around. The sad thing is most people want a paycheck and not care about the pt just as long as they could get their paycheck. I've even heard nurses complain about how crabby, mean, moody, (you name it) their pt's are. What do they expect, they are in a hospital because they are sick, injured, dying... you get the picture. What's that all about??? I know when I was in the hospital several different times as a pt I wasn't myself for obvious reasons. I wasn't laughing at there jokes maybe because it hurt to laugh, didn't want to have a conversation because I was to tired from the meds I was on...scared because I didn't know my diagnoses, worried about who was going to pay for this bill even though insurance is available it still cost money. What happened to compassion, consideration, respect, help each other through good & bad times, have a little fun at work not be so serious all the time, common sense ect...this seems to be a different generation...now its who's better than the other one, back stabbing, gossip, hatred, ridiculing, questioning your every move even when report is handed off like you were just born yesterday (they are not my manager) but some think they are! My manger has everything good to say in all the evaluations so I know I'm a good nurse. I'm I perfect? No one I ever met is so why would I be?! I also love my Job!!! Absolutely LOVE IT! I did alot of venting I normally don't say to anyone accept my family and closest friends that I don't work with. I do have good friends where I work also but they can be wishy washi depending on who or what they are talking about. Work and personal life just don't mix in my world, I tried a few time and it's not worth it!! I watch fellow co-workers go through similar situations at different time and all you can do is be there if they choose you to vent with. I also learned to say very little when this happens but be supportive if I can be. I had worked in a different facility for 2 1/2 years once where I too thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown and became very depressed and didn't realize how bad it was until I put my resignation in and hunted for a new job. Once I was OUT FOR SEVERAL MONTH AND ACQUAINTED WITH MY NEW JOB A tON OF BRICKS WERE LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS!!! I WILL NEVER LET THINGS GET THAT BAD AGAIN... LIFE IS WAY TO SHORT!!! Yes, I did vent quite a bit but where I work now really is my love and passion for nursing! Politics and co-workers are a challenge and always will be you just have to try and balance, communicate communicate, and deal with it with hopefully managers input, and if it can't be fixed GET OUT! I'VE LEARNED THIS ONE THE HARD WAY! I WAS DEMORALIZED, QUESTIONING MYSELF WHETHER I WAS A GOOD NURSE, (maybe I should just quit and go back to school for something else) even though it was my passion to be a nurse all my life. I was actually doubting my every move. I had No confidence left when I left that place! Now I'm very happy where I'm at and love the care I can give to the pt's. I know because of the demand physically and mentally at my age I won't be able to keep up on this floor. I do hope to work in hospice or geriactric floor when that time comes. I love working with the elderly. They are so very considerate, wise, appreciative and love to share stories. I sometime wish I had the time to write the stories we all hear in our nursing career. Everyone's lives are so interesting in their own unique way. Sometime it may be more challenging but friendship & trust can happen at any age!

    Good luck with your dilema, when the time is write if you can't fix it move forward!! You will know in your gut when you had enough! Try not to judge, or change who you are working with but learn how they operate and figure out what you need to do for yourself not them. Does that mean don't help, be a jerk, No I would never be able to act or pretend to act like them it's not my personality. I've tried to retaliate at times to set someone in there spot it works sometimes, but I will never feel comfortable, it's not me. It was something I had to do to earn their respect if it was possible. Every person you work with comes with their special qualities and bad qualities it takes may different personalities to make a shift or group to work together. I don't care for the managerial aspect of nursing, I love taking care of pt's.clown: I thank God someone out there loves management because it's not my ticket! I don't like the social services of nursing, Thank goodness someone else is there to send the pt or families to them. All that paper work!!! Yuk!! It may be their love and thank goodness but it's not mine! Take care!! Good Luck! twinklebelle...sorry so so long
  6. 2
    twinklebelle: THAT WAS AWESOME!!! THANK YOU!

    You pointed out alot of good pointers on this situation. I recently left my first job because of the staff acting like 6th graders and they broke me down so much I just couldn't take it any longer. I found myself watching my back to the point where I became very paranoid and was triple questioning myself for everything I did!
    I started getting alot of complaints from the manager about 4months into my new nursing career as a brand new nurse! My manager was often pulling me aside telling me things like someone complained b/c you didnt put an armband on your 4month old patient (well I know I did but a 4month old kicks alot so did they bother looking in the bed?) or complaints like you forgot to label your IV tubing, or especially my report giving skills. I got complaints that I repeated everything the previous nurse would say and I seemed like I didnt know what was going on with my patient?.....And I'm thinkin really b/c when you give report, thats what you do is overview/review and add whatever else needs to be added. First and foremost, why werent these nurses coming to me personally pulling me aside themselves and saying Hey I noticed this, you should do this instead. I worked nights so alot of times I would see the same faces that I was giving report off to and nobody bothered to bring up any issues they felt they saw in me as the "new nurse". I literally was being ganged up on by a few nurses. It was always just a few nurses that would do the complaining. It was like their pact until another new nurse came along and then all the complaining stopped for me. The heat was now on her. I felt bad for her b/c I knew what she was going thru and I often told her it will subside just give it time they will quit. You just have to quadruple check everything you do and watch your back at ALL times. These women seemed like they were literally out to get our jobs. So I lasted there for about 1yr and ahalf and decided to move on and become a travel nurse. I could't take seeing these girls treat new nurses like this. And my manager would do nothing about it. Everyone just seemed to jump on the bandwagon. But I too feel a weight lifted off my shoulders when I left. I no longer drive home paranoid about what I didnt do that I'm going to be pulled in the office for tommorrow or what I said in report that the nurses didnt like etc. It was intoxicating and I literally couldn't fall asleep. Now I can. So glad I decided to leave!
    Theres an old saying "nurses eat their own" and its so true! Its sad but very true! and I dont' get it. We should be helping our new nurses out not discouraging them from the business period.
    Is there a happy medium in nursing or is the drama found everywhere? As a travel nurse I kinda don't have to deal with the drama for too long b/c I'm not there long enough to see it. I'm beginnning to come to the conclusion that there will always be drama in nursing b/c women just cannot get off each other's backs! Why?
    vernRN and sparketteinok like this.
  7. 2
    I moved 3 hours from my home town and am currently working in a similar environment. Some days are worse than others. The unit I came from was amazing. I had great coworkers and we were very much a team.

    It's not everywhere, but it's hard to come by an ideal environment. Good luck in whatever you choose.
    vernRN and sparketteinok like this.
  8. 2
    What about trying to switch to a float staff position if one becomes available at your current hospital? Then you get to continue with hospital nursing without seeing the same people every day and getting involved in their drama. Or try putting in for a transfer to a different floor - at least where I work, units tend to take on personalities of their own, and people with similar personalities tend to fit in and last while others move on until they find their own niche. If none of that works, definitely try a different field. You won't lose your skills by moving to hospice, you'll just gain different ones.
    vernRN and sparketteinok like this.
  9. 2
    I think you might want to switch shifts or floors before quitting altogether if work is that hard to come by.

    Even if you could make 1 friend, find 1 person who thinks and feels as you do, you won't be so lonely.

    Make a list of all of your options, then the pros and cons of each one. Then, make your move. Or stay put if that seems the best option.

    No guarantees that going elsewhere will be any better, of course.
    vernRN and sparketteinok like this.
  10. 1
    Thanks for all the input and thank you for sharing your heartfelt stories. It helps to know I'm not alone.
    There is NOT a job shortage here. There are many, many jobs to be had at this hospital. Turnover rate is very high. I think going part time is the best, because I love my floor- we get a geriatric/medsurg/peds mix that I love. The other floors are ortho and dialysis- don't want anything to do with that.

    I do think my boss appreciates me and realizes I'm a good hard worker and a team player, but she won't do anything about the 6th graders. I know you can't really control people, but there's a lot of bs that she could stop if she wanted to.

    I think going hospice is best for my kids (I am divorced with two small kids) because the hours are so long at the hospital. 12 hour shifts are actually 14 or 15. It's after 2100 by the time I get home. The kids miss me. I miss them. But I love taking care of my patients.
    vernRN likes this.
  11. 4
    Nurses are their own worst enemies and like someone mentioned before, some units develop a personality of their own and attract like minded people. I have worked in far too many TOXIC units that were too difficult to go back to day after day and ended up changing jobs frequently.

    IMO a huge problem on toxic units is the manager. Many years ago, I was asked to manage an existing toxic unit. The first two weeks I was there I made no changes, I got to know the staff and observed their relationships with each other and the patients. One of the first things I noticed was the staff would come into my office and complain about the other nurses. My first strategy was to stop the back biting so I called the staff together and let them know that if they wanted to complain about another nurse I would listen to each of their stories individually and then I would call them in together, I would remain neutral and together the three of us would all work out a mutually agreeable solution. In only a few weeks there were lots of tears shed in my office but the bickering and back stabbing stopped, the staffs attitudes improved and patient and family complaints dropped off to almost zero. We had an internationally diverse staff and there were also obvious cultural differences and personality clashes. We started having potluck lunches once a month and each nurse was encouraged to bring in food from their home country or culture. I would hop into a pair of scrubs and watched patients so the staff could take a break. Soon the staff started to appreciate each others differences through food. Rather than mocking their differences the staff began to appreciate that not only the food was different but attitudes, perceptions and nursing styles were also different.

    Every hospital employee was working on a one year contract and for the first time in the history of the hospital, which was ten years old at the time, every single nurse, in our unit renewed their contracts. Mind you, there were a few of the most senior nurses that I didn't even offer a contract renewal as I felt they were part of the problem and they had no desire to be part of the solution. Prior to my arrival the toxic nurses were the only ones that had renewed their contracts.

    It was all additional work for me and documentation of the toxic nurses had to be extensive to justify not renewing their contracts but in the end, every extra effort was worth it for me and the remaining staff.

    Too bad a good number of managers are also part of the problem and they don't want to make the effort to fix the problems on their units. Another huge group of managers are in their positions to make the people above them happy not people working 'below' them.

    I wish you luck in finding a career path that is suitable for you and your working style. Chin up, somewhere there is a place for you.
    Blindsided, vernRN, aquizzle, and 1 other like this.


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