Because nobody is a better expert in the art of nursing than...

[PeepnBiscuitsRN]

(wait for it....) A CORPORATE P.R. representative! That's right! For the next however many weeks it takes, we un-enlightened nurses get to have a P.R. (could stand for public relations or patient relations, I don't know...same diff) rep shadow us on our shift, observing how we interact with our patients and offering critiques and feedback on how we are performing! WHAT A TREAT! You know, I'm surrounded by nurses who have worked on this unit since I was no more than a gleam in my parent's eyes, and I'm sure they know a lot- I'm sure, but when it comes to the real deal- I'll always look to the people in the snappy suits for knowledge. THEY know where it's at- and they've never even worked a day in their life as a nurse, now hey, that takes some talent right there, let me tell you!

I'm sure the patients appreciate it too- I know when I was a new mom when it came time for the nurses to squish my postpartum belly and pull down my undies, and help me waddle to the bathroom my thought was always "the more the merrier!"

Have I lost my nursing virginity? Is nurse PeepnBiscuits all grown up now? Never thought I'd see the day when I'd be so cynical, so jaded and so hard. It's a good thing I don't often speak my mind I guess. Since when has our unit come under scrutiny? Oh yes we have patients whine about nurses coming in to check them in the night- too bad so sad, I'm not going to let you hemorrhage tonight. Sorry! I'm also not going to let your baby have any number of things go wrong with him that could easily go wrong in the first 24 hours. We get complaints about the food- hey, guess what, I can empathize. I had both my kids here and I didn't touch a stinkin thing (except the cereal, you can't screw up boxed cereal) do you want me to go yell at the nutrition staff who aren't even there at 2 am?

I don't want some P.R. person tagging along with me. The person already held things up for the two people that were shadowed the other night! What makes it even worse is that these people who are shadowing are merely lackeys for the even bigger people who are just too awesome to step one shiny shoe'd toe onto a hospital floor- puh! Send the lackeys out to stay up all night long with the nurses while we get our beauty sleep. Perhaps I've always been this way and just didn't know it. I don't want someone telling me what words to say to patients and how to say them. I welcome constructive criticism, when it comes from a colleague who "gets it" or a patient who has to put up with me for 8 hours. I can't even PRETEND to smile and nod like a good little nurse when being told by someone who most likely doesn't even know what we're doing and why.

[One1, BSN, RN]

We are also being "re-educated" on PROPER nurse-patient relationships right now via new policies, funny little "model conversations" in our newsletters, and so on (please note that these lines are dripping with sarcasm).. Like your workplace, these things come from corporate who has never touched a patient or ever worked even remotely at bedside. Patient satisfaction trumps patient care these days, and our floor is bustling with patient representatives and advocates who are constantly seeking us out while we are doing procedures in other rooms to ask if we can please bring the pt in room 5 a cup of water and if the pt in room 3 (who was explained 3 times already that he cannot eat because he might have to go into surgery) can have a food tray...

[DoeRN]

I think we all need to be retrained.

In school I was taught ABC's of nursing. I think schools need to change curriculums. It needs to be get coffee for the visitor, change the channel on the TV, raise the bed, fluff the pillow first. Then after you do all of this check on all the other patients to see if they would like a back rub. Then and only then after all of this is done go check on the patient turning blue in room 308 B. But of course you have to make sure the patient in the A bed doesn't need a ginger ale first.

I am going to work as hard as I can to finish school so I can get the heck away from the bedside. I didn't go to school to learn customer service. I went to learn how to take care of people and make sure they stay alive. I think my school owes me a refund.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

I am speechless.

[rngolfer53]

This foolishness is driven in part by CMMS, an agency not wholly unused to being clueless about actual patient care.

Here's a link to an AJN article that notes the contrived, sometimes detrimental effects such policies have.

On Tying Medicare Reimbursement to Patient Satisfaction Surv... : AJN The American Journal of Nursing

Blaming the hospital execs, despite the fact that many bad ideas originate with them, is not likely to impact this problem. A better approach is to inform your congresscritters about your concerns. Since government moves at a glacial pace to address real problems, rather than the political kind, don't expect quick action. Be prepared to be persistent to the point of being a PITA.

[BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN]

Remember the days we got scolded for "Spoiling" a patient or family member? Hahaha:)

Now I'm waiting for a poster to critique the attitude here, I've got my Medcart's wheel brakes "off," and ready to run them down.

What's scary is when it's insinuated that if you don't take the time to meet the facilities "mission," of 'Booty Smootching' instead of booty saving, there's an applicant right now in HR with bated breath to "serve the coffee with a smile":(

[rngolfer53]

I told her, "If this is so important right now- why couldn't you just grab him a cup- I got to get in here."

Advocate's voice grew louder, "Because," she said condescendingly, "It's my job to 'train' hospital staff on important patient relations issues-Not to waitress!"

.

Since most coffee vending machines have the cup fairly low, you might suggest to the kisser of a..., er, advocate that it will be easier for her to get that cup of coffee for the erstwhile VIP if she gets off her high horse.

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

I'd walk in to every patient room and introduce myself, along with the PR person and make it clear that they were there for marketing, not the patient's care, and did they wish the PR person to step outside so we can conduct their assessment in private?

Boston, I'm surprised you finished that conversation. I've simply walked away from the patient advocate while in the middle of something critical that took precedence.

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

We are also being "re-educated" on PROPER nurse-patient relationships right now via new policies, funny little "model conversations" in our newsletters, and so on (please note that these lines are dripping with sarcasm).. Like your workplace, these things come from corporate who has never touched a patient or ever worked even remotely at bedside. Patient satisfaction trumps patient care these days, and our floor is bustling with patient representatives and advocates who are constantly seeking us out while we are doing procedures in other rooms to ask if we can please bring the pt in room 5 a cup of water and if the pt in room 3 (who was explained 3 times already that he cannot eat because he might have to go into surgery) can have a food tray...

I don't get the point of an advocate on the unit if they can't get a simple cup of water for crying out loud if you are busy. Good lord. It takes longer to ask you to get something for the pt than doing it themselves.

[VICEDRN, BSN, RN]

I don't get the point of an advocate on the unit if they can't get a simple cup of water for crying out loud if you are busy. Good lord. It takes longer to ask you to get something for the pt than doing it themselves.

I absolutely do not want these people doing anything with the patients. My old ER had a customer service rep who just loved to feed people and just figured well, when we run out, we run out! I asked, when we take in a diabetic who NEEDS those crackers and gatorade? Also, what do you plan to tell the surgeon when he asks why patient was fed?

The pt has dietary orders and it is not the job of customer service to interpret them.

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

I am not saying that they should imterpret the diet order. However if they are able to tell you that room 5 wants a glass of water and you or your aide are busy then they can absolutely get it for the pt.

[VICEDRN, BSN, RN]

I am not saying that they should imterpret the diet order. However if they are able to tell you that room 5 wants a glass of water and you or your aide are busy then they can absolutely get it for the pt.

And they know if room five is npo or not how exactly?

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry but if they can find me or call my spectralink and ask me to get the patient a glass of water, then I can tell them if the patient can have one and they can get it if I am busy. They would also be told not to if the patient is having a procedure. Of course I am expecting them to actually ask me first.