Accepted to nursing school but neurotic/scared- maybe I shouldnt do nursing???? ;(

  1. I am really really interested in medicine/biology. I had cancer when I was 16, diagnosed my own thyroid disease and I definitely take an interest in health- Heres my problem- I get kind of crazy sometimes. I latch onto an idea and it drives me NUTS. I have extreme anxiety...

    Like, If I get the idea that I could be exposed to any kind of STD (this was in the past before I got married-- I was pretty safe anyway most of the time)-- I would latch onto it and absolutely OBSESS. I would feel so sick to my stomach. My husbands tested negative for anything but theres been times Id get into fights with him because I would start wondering if something didnt show up bc he slept with a lot of women before he met me. I would worry myself sick and then eventually it would subside. But it comes back sometimes. I don't think I will fully feel better until he comes back and gets his yearly test again. We will have been together over a year then. (His last one was three months into our relationship)

    Lately I have worried myself sick that the malaria drug my husband will probably take on deployment will react badly with him.
    I also have been worrying myself sick that we will have children with birth defects because of the chemo I had when I was 16 and bc of the thyroid problems I have now-- also, my husband is exposed to tons of random stuff and vaccinations being in the military and I am SO WORRIED that that could also cause birth defects in our babies someday or hurt him. What sucks is I have no plans to have a baby for a few years yet. - Im even worrying about health problems my kids could have even if they dont have obvious birth defects!

    I cant handle this!! Its driving me nuts. It seems like the more I know, the worse this may get. I'm afraid to do nursing now bc I am afraid that being exposed to all sorts of conditions (including rare ones) are going to only increase my level of fear.

    What do you guys think? I have been literally nauseous for two days scared about birth defects in my children that probably wont be born for four more years!!!!!!!

    What is wrong with me? I think this fear is probably rooted in my experience getting cancer- but Im seriously reconsidering if nursing is right for me.

    This doesnt happen all the time, but it happens enough that im afraid Ill drive myself crazy as a nurse (OR, What could happen is Im exposed to enough stuff that I get used to all of it and my fears abate because I realize that what will be will be and theres not too much I can really do to avoid some of it----)
    ^^ see I DO intellectually realize that you cant predict many bad health things, but I cant seem to stop worrying.

    What do you guys think??? No matter what I do, I end up reading enough about health that I know enough that it causes me to worry....
    I feel like Im going to puke right now. I'm wondering if I should go into accounting or something, just so I can take my mind of my worries. Cuz ALL of my worries revolve around major health problems happening or losing my loved ones.
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  2. 11 Comments

  3. by   elizabells
    I don't think you can't be a nurse, by any means. I do think you would be well served to get some counseling. I didn't do that before I started NS, and it made it a lot harder than it needs to be. Even if you don't end up as a nurse, I think you could benefit from it. Constant terror is no way to live. I'm not saying you don't have good cause for your fears, given your history, but you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else, including any children you may have.

    Good luck, and feel free to PM me any time you want.
  4. by   diapason05
    Did you have some fear when you started too?>
  5. by   elizabells
    Not about the same stuff you do, but I do have issues with anxiety, among other things. Like I said, I don't think your concerns about your health are entirely unfounded, but they seem to be crippling you, even outside of the potential for nursing.
  6. by   diapason05
    Quote from elizabells
    Not about the same stuff you do, but I do have issues with anxiety, among other things. Like I said, I don't think your concerns about your health are entirely unfounded, but they seem to be crippling you, even outside of the potential for nursing.
    yeh, on certain days for sure. My husband just left on deployment and he tends to have a calming effect on me. The anxiety only happens once in awhile.. ;( I duno I am dreading nursing school in the moment because I dont want to even be thinking about possible health issues right now. Its cuz im going through a period of the anxiety. maybe itll change i dont know. I was so happy to find a career i could be interested in. ;(
  7. by   Tweety
    We all have our anxities and fears. It keeps us on our toes and motivates us.

    Some of your fears don't seem rationale and you need to get a handle on them or you're not going to have the time and energy to focus on the rigorous demands of nursing school.

    I don't want to burst your bubble, but it doesn't sound like you can cope with it right now. Perhaps by talking about it, or getting some professional medical/counseling help will get you through it.
  8. by   time4meRN
    Quote from elizabells
    I don't think you can't be a nurse, by any means. I do think you would be well served to get some counseling. I didn't do that before I started NS, and it made it a lot harder than it needs to be. Even if you don't end up as a nurse, I think you could benefit from it. Constant terror is no way to live. I'm not saying you don't have good cause for your fears, given your history, but you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else, including any children you may have.

    Good luck, and feel free to PM me any time you want.




    DITTO !
  9. by   StrwbryblndRN
    I agree with Tweety.
    Also it sounds to me that no matter what your profession you would have extreme anxiety at some time or another that would interfere.
    If you wish to become a nurse do so but it would be in your best interest to overcome/find treatment for what impedes you first.
    Good luck in your quests.
  10. by   Zookeeper3
    Sorry, but one course on A&P will make you a hypochodriac. I was one too, but I became one as I went.... going in as one (meant nicely)... will cause undue stress. because you can second guess every problem of every situation accurately.... will not make you a successfull nurse. Having faith in HAND WASHING AND GLOVES will help you ease over your personal fears of contamination. This takes time, but the majority of people have to learn the fear...... while you need to unlearn it. It's up to you here.. but there are many medical jobs that don't require the same amt. of time in patient care to risk exposure. Hope this helps.
  11. by   diapason05
    Quote from Zookeeper3
    Sorry, but one course on A&P will make you a hypochodriac. I was one too, but I became one as I went.... going in as one (meant nicely)... will cause undue stress. because you can second guess every problem of every situation accurately.... will not make you a successfull nurse. Having faith in HAND WASHING AND GLOVES will help you ease over your personal fears of contamination. This takes time, but the majority of people have to learn the fear...... while you need to unlearn it. It's up to you here.. but there are many medical jobs that don't require the same amt. of time in patient care to risk exposure. Hope this helps.
    Thats what I was thinking. My ultimate goal is to get to the point where I am a nurse practitioner. I know that I will be exposed to stuff all the time, even as a nurse practitioner, but I feel like it will be too a lesser degree. I just need to get through school and several years of nursing...
  12. by   futurecnm
    I probably wouldn't advise starting nursing school when you are this terrified of things. nursing school will be the hardest thing you wille ve do, with tons of stress and sleepless nights. That could make things even worse for you. And you would be exposed to many things as a nurse and it seems as though you have a fear of exposure to things. of course, we take precautions but I would think that kind of environment would be putting yourself in a situation that would cause you a lot of anxiety. What are your reasons for choosing nursing?
  13. by   NewRN2008
    We dont dx on here at all. but i believe that if you are going into nsg school, you may come across more things you may obess about and "have". we all do it naturally anyhow, but the way your brain works, you may just shut down..
    dont know if its the best idea. but is it something you want?? that is not something you want to pass to pt's either..

    gl with your decision

    -H-
    And tell you husband thank you for serving!! been there done that.

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