A Never Ending Battle - page 2
She has been fighting her whole life. She, the patient, whose every system has been wracked with relentless disease except for her beating heart. The steady rhythm keeps her alive, on the... Read More
2Jun 8, '11 by cdicapuaI am so touched by this post and all the responses. At a nursing home you see people hanging onto life everyday. Some are being kept alive and I always wonder what it is like to be that person lying in bed all contracted, can't communicate their needs. I also wonder if they are still there, thinking , feeling , and hearing. Most times they don't look like they are resting peacefully. They seem troubled. It makes me so sad at times, and I linger in the residents room until my own crying is over to embarrassed to let my colleagues know how I feel. God bless you all for your chosen career and for having the insight to feel for the patients and their families and for discussing it.
0Jun 17, '11 by kbrn2002Quote from SJerseygrleI am so very sorry for your loss.When I took my son off of life support, I held him and told him, for hours, how much I loved, how brave he was, and how proud I was for the fight he fought. I had spoken for him for so long that I neglected all the signs he gave that told me he wanted to go. But when I realized, I gave him permission. I told him to find the light and that I would always love him, and not to be afraid. But when he missed his first breath, I took it all back. I told him to stay, and that he had to keep fighting. And then I cried, and said I was sorry, he should go.
There is no way to do it right, and no way to be the kind of mom who fights for her kid and also be the mom who lets him go without at all times feeling like a person with multiple-personality disorder. And without questioning your decision at all times. Because when they die, the grief is overwhelming. And the relief you feel makes you feel like a monster.