A BIG pitfall of working office hours. warning long!

[Kitty Hawk]

I never thought I'd find one, I love my hours I work as a clinical review nurse, and I love my main boss he's great, it's the other people in the office. It's small 3 nurses (1 part time) and 4 schedulers. Problem sets in, when I got the job I didn't realize it was bc the previous nurse up and left in a flurry of expletatives with no notice! I now see clearly why.

When I was hired I already had a vacation set and they were very gracious about honoring that, even though managers changed hands and actually the new one is even better. The problem lies with one of the workoholic nurses (besides our normal days she also does private duty and volunteers with crisis things on weekends) bc she lost her spouse a few years ago, well she makes the office barely tolerable. She's run a total of 3 nurses out. I thought I was stronger than that. I "get" her, I understand bc of her personal life she wants to run herself into the ground hardly sleeping etc...so she doesn't have to think about her loss...I get it, I do but I shouldn't be punished for it.

Anyway she was never crazy about the nurses having time off (schedulers are a different story) she thinks you should be a slave to the profession or you shouldn't be a nurse. However when confronted with this, she puts on a completely different show. She runs extremely hot and cold with me. Actually that's an understatement. She can be unbelievably nice and helpful and then she can be downright degrading and this is in a short time span. I've always had a mantra, I work to live, I don't live to work. Family comes first.

I really thought I would stick it out a year to have stability, but she broke the camels back a few weeks ago, so I sent out applications mostly out of frustration, but I didn't think anything would come of it. Well one did and as ambivilent as I was at first, I think I'd really be happy there. It's for a CRC position. It offers 12 weeks of training as opposed to the lie that I was fed for this current job that I would have much training and I got zero. In fact I'm self taught for pretty much most of it, asking questions here and there.

I think I did a pretty good interview, they want me to shadow and that's where the problem is. They want about a 3 hour block morning or afternoon, I figured I could just say I needed personal time. Any job I've ever had it's perfectly normal that there are things that can only be taken care of during bankers hours. Even certain doctors do not have weekend/evening hours. Well she is in total disbelief of this needing time off during working hours.

The thing that sucks is my main manager (as mentioned she believes she runs the office, it's a mistake they've made as she feels too self important, I kid you not when I say you have to tell her you are going to go pee! Even on the floor I didn't have to tell anyone. She refers to the office as the "floor" and maybe that's a problem. Anyway I was told to go to my manager with days off etc and I do. Most others go through this nurse for whatever reason, my manager said he was supposed to put out an email stating he was the contact person for time off but never did. Now I'm in the hot seat bc my last time for going to this interview resulting in 3 hours of my personal time, he never told the nurse (even though I asked if he wanted me to let her know he said he'd handle it) she blew a gasket.

We supposedly are entitled to taking our PTO with 2 weeks notice. Not a problem from my manager's standpoint as he beleives in work, life balance. She does not. I am trying to be fair so I apologized for not keeping her in the loop and what would be better...when I work early to leave early or to schedule time off when I work the later shift and come in later in the morning. I ask so I don't inconvenience anyone, I already work around the part time nurse and she's off 1 to 2 days a week, but still manages to complain how she can never get any time off!!!! I see how ridiculous that is just typing it, but I think I'm in the twilight zone much of the time.

So she blew up and said I need to schedule things off hours or risk being let go!!! However she has no power to do so. I could just go back to my manager for the time off, but I was hoping confronting her and trying to work with her would make her less frosty with me.

I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm more convinced now I need to get out of there. We are short staffed supposedly there were always 4 nurses plus this other head nurse if you will. now we have 1.5. The work is steady but really I never feel overwhelmed, I see that they strive on drama for whatever reason.

I'm tempted to tell the other place I can't shadow as it's causing too much chaos, but I'd likely kiss the job goodbye then. Whether I do or don't shadow, if that job doesn't come through then I still have to figure out how to do other interviews. I never thought I'd say I miss my 3 twelves, but if trying to get out of a job, 9 to 5 is not a good time as most interviewers won't schedule after hours. Guess this is another one of those let go and let God moments for me. Just a vent that off the floor isn't always a picnic either.

[Guest717236]

I am in a fog with your story. If the manager is easy to deal with, remind him of your request and take the time off.

The issue is a management problem, allowing this individual to run things even with her "expert knowledge" of the doctors office/insurance issues.

First clue to management is nurses leaving in a hurry and never returning.If management continues to be in denial they will lose you

and many of the other nurses.

You need to keep the shadow appt and depart this dysfunctional office with style and grace to the new job without guilt.

And since this co worker with an inflated sense of self loves work so much and refers to your office as the "floor",

all your team at high noon should arrive to her desk each with an empty bed pan place it on her desk and state,its all yours and walk out in unison.

Let the manager know in advance the co worker with the dysfunctional

controlling nature may need some time off that same afternoon.

Good luck,hope the new job is heaven for you!

[Kitty Hawk, ADN, RN]

Netglow that was hilarious.

Jahra it would be great if others did see the problem. But bc she badmouths the manager, then cozies up to him to his face,the rest of the staff don't really respect him either and go for the "she's in charge crap". Basically it's 3 schedulers plus part time nurse that adore her.

I can absolutely go to my mgr for time off, it's the only reason I've been okay to stay this long, bc of his respect for family and time off. I just wanted to keep peace and have her in the loop. You all really opened my eyes that it'll never work and I just have to accept that she and I are not going to get along.

My husband seems to think she's a bit threatened by me. BC from early on I questioned why I have to go through her for the majority of the charts and I can't work on my own. I've never been in a situation that I couldn't function in my role on my own. So I've learned a lot on my own and self taught myself about the speciality we deal with. For example one of the insurance plans she has the copy that everyone refers to for what's coverered. When I 1st started I looked at the bottom for the website and found it and printed my own 35 page copy. She doesn't like that, I guess but she was always off with me before that. If she would have treated me decent I probably wouldn't have try to circumvent like that.

I seriously thank you all for opening my eyes and the hilarious look at this. I seriously didn't realize it was this bad. But even the "floor" comment isn't normal. None of it is.

[Kitty Hawk, ADN, RN]

Hey a question on something ...I asked her once if she had her masters and she replied no. She then said she had a NP but she let it expire! Is that even possible? Don't you need a MSN for NP? And once you have it the NP can expire?

And something else, she claims to be 1/2 way through taking the boards for another state, as she threatens for what I'm told six years now, that she's leaving. Can you take 1/2 the boards? Isn't it just one test or something the new state requires?

I've been told by the one remaining decent scheduler that she makes stuff up. She said this nurse will fake important calls from surgeons etc. And she does take these calls quite loud on her cell. But this scheduler said if I listen there's no way someone is on the other line. For one how likely is it the surgeon is calling her right before walking into surgery, for another she doesn't leave a time lapse for the other person to answer. (Inquiring what type of surgery etc...) I thought that theory was going a little too far, but maybe not.

[Creamsoda, ASN, RN]

Just call in sick. Its not worth the struggle.

[Guest717236]

The point is, no one should put up with her. If they stay and put up with it, that is their issue.

You need to really ask yourself, why put in all this worry if you can not change the situation.

Move on and cut loose, or your revolving thoughts about this dysfunctional environment will hold you back in your next job.

A new job should be an exciting new adventure, and you

need to leave these staff members and manager behind. It will go on until infinity and you need to decide if you really want to leave

and start a new position with a positive focus...

put your family and career first, depart to a healthier environment..

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

Holy Crap! She is a BULLY!!!! Has HR been involved? You need to get the heck out of Dodge but sadly that will just allow the next person to step into that rats nest! There has got to be some recourse. She is creaitng a hostile work environment. Good Luck!

[RNGriffin]

My advice has already been offered in the first post. You should schedule for the 3 hour shadow, work with the manager as you have said the other nurse holds no clout to threaten you with being fired. Either that, or you can avoid the entire situation by calling in sick.

You have stated your mantra is: "I work to live, not vice versa." Take note this is a job, and likely you don't plan on making a career or it. Therefore, take the time off to do the shadowing & cross your fingers the other deprived nurse will survive without you.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i don't understand all this drama. call out sick for the day you're shadowing if they won't work with you about using personal time. i've never worked office hours and never aspired to. i've never worked with all of this drama, either. one of the benefits of being a straightforward communicator, i guess.

[Marisette, BSN, RN]

You should go to the real manager and ask him to give you the needed time off. I dislike management that hides behind their desks and never take any accountability. This is the real reason this woman is in charge. I've worked in similar situations.

Unfortunately, I left and got into another situation, that was worse in terms of working hours, stress, and so on....

I now believe, that I should have gone to the "real manager" voiced my issue and gotten it resolved. If you go to the manager and make your request known, and this mad woman is angry at you, approach the top manager again. If management fails to address her behavior, then it's clear you have to move on. Perhaps, the real manager relies on this employee to do what he/she really wants done.

This nurse will continue to abuse other employees because she can. If she is a workaholic, that runs the facility with no authority, perhaps little compensation, she may be more costly to replace then the training of new nurses in the short run. However, in the long run, she will be very costly to keep employed. I think there is a "wanna be manager, indispensabel bully" in many work environments. I've yet to discover the best way to deal with them because they get their unofficial power and authority somehow though either seniority, favoritism through friendships, performing a work task other can't or won't do and so on. They can create very stressful work environments.

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

Undoubtedly, you have received very good feed back on your situation, now it's up to you to confront the dragon and grab it by it's tail. In addition, hopefully you have kept a log on this issue, also you have informed your boss regarding this situation. Having said that, you owe it to yourself not to work in environment where you feel the need to answer to someone that's not your boss. Moreover, in the long run if you continue in this situation, not only your performance will be affected, but also your health & mental status. Wishing you the best in all of your future endeavors~

[BlueDevil,DNP, DNP, RN]

The OP reminds me of someone I work with. Both of you are going to fret yourselves into an early grave over things totally outside of your control. Why do you care if she "pitches a fit" that you are "sick?" Let her. Go to work, do your job, be pleasant, let her pitch all the fits she likes and make herself look like a fool in the process. You keep smiling, keep doing your work until the other job offer comes.

With respect, you are making a mountain out of a molehill here. I watch my co worker do it everyday. I don't understand how either of you can live with this kind of manufactured anxiety. If this woman really steps out of line, then step into her and tell her to step off. Until then just work and smile, both to the best of your genuine ability. Later, rinse, repeat.

[SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS]

BC she has a lot of clout with knowledge and the doctor's office, being a liason, getting denials from insurance over turned stuff like that. He was a field manager he has no idea on the office politics, but he's excellent with people as he believes in the whole work life balance.

Think about this statement- you are lying to yourself. You think he is excellent with people? Really? :)

OK, so this co-worker of yours has some skills. A lot of people have skills, and still are able to respect their co-workers and their bosses! No boss has all the skills, that's why they hire people to do the work, but it's the boss's job to do the managing. Plain and simple. (well, not really simple, but...)

I do feel your pain. I work with someone who is very very similar to the lady you are struggling with...and try to just deal with it. It is not easy.